Most embarrassing moment at work

[HeidiBoo1984]

I love embarrassing moment threads and I'm always embarrassing myself beyond belief at work.

I have endometriosis and it often sends my bowels wild. Our office toilets are basically just within the office, rooms rather than cubicles, and our office, which is more or less open plan with about 8 of us, it's a quiet environment so you can hear everything. Anyway, I've many a time been to the toilet for just a wee and then unexpectedly farted really loudly. I die inside and consider just getting my coat and going home! No one ever says anything, but they must hear!

Does anyone else have any embarrassing stories at work?

[Poocalypso]

Finally finished this thread such a gooden!

Ok my one: worked together with my friends mum, who is like family. I was sat working together with other whilst she had a room alone. I went there for a quick fart as I thought she wasn't in that morning. She promptly returned and entered a massive cloud of innard gasses. I was called to the phone and she was left there. Then the boss followed her in. I treated her to drinks.

[Tinkerbell1980]

BEST. THREAD. EVER.

[Jaxinthebox]

oh these are priceless!

[DarlingNikita]

These continue to be amazing.

I meant to say ‘joe bloggs’ and it came out ‘blow jobs’

in returning to my classroom too soon, I effectively wafted the stench back in with me. That is a beautiful sentence.

[Simonfromharlow]

I used to work in a chocolate shop. One day we were building a big pyramid display of boxes of chocolates. I somehow managed to build myself into the middle and couldn't get out. My very nerdy naive manager said ooh I'll have to eat you out! Me and the other girl were in absolute hysterics. My poor manager scuttled off to his office. We creased up every time we thought about. Smutty minds haha

[bitmynailbrokemytooth]

" the tampon had hurtled down the stairs at the speed of a racing snake " - too funny.

Also is there such a thing as a racing snake ? Who knew

[bitmynailbrokemytooth]

Mine was many years ago when I was about 25. One day a drop-dead gorgeous guy was sent to cover at short notice. We had our lunch at the same time and I took him to the work canteen because he didn't know where anything was. It was fish and chips day.

I was so chuffed we were having lunch together, practically showing him off to other staff, simpering, giggling , flirting, I kept running my hands through my hair. He made me laugh. I was going for it for all I was worth.

Until he said " you have mushy peas in your hair ". I was gutted. He was waaaay out of my league anyway.

[NoIsACompleteAnswerSometimes]

Albadross it was hysterical, that tampon was doing the wall of death dance round the many landings and set of stairs every time Dave either threw it up to my friend or she managed to kick it back down again.
Even all these years later, I can remember sitting there, shoulders shaking and sniggering into my work. What made it worse was when she came back to her desk, quite hot and bothered (don't forget she thought she was vairy posh) and hissed at me that she thought Dave had acted very inappropriately, he should have just picked it up and given it to her, or just stepped over it and ignored it. The fact that the tampon had hurtled down the stairs at the speed of a racing snake, clouting him on the ankle in the process with no time to make a positive i.d. seemed to be lost on her. Bless her.

[Elephantina]

My knob was peeping out

[Jackabilly13]

A few years ago, I was a community stop smoking advisor. I got around on a motorbike, cos I didn't drive. It could be horrible in bad weather.
One afternoon I arrived at a health centre, where I was due to do a group session. The receptionist, Sandra, told me that a woman had arrived early, which I wasn't bargaining for, as I had to get my helmet,waterproofs, gloves etc off and set up the room. Helmet in hand, I went into the room, where, I'll call her Ruth, was, looking down in the dumps.
She had relapsed to smoking on the previous week, and, at the time, service users were only allowed one attempt in any 6 months. She basically begged to be given another chance, which was a bit awkward, but I felt so sorry for her, I said I'd think of a way around it, she looked so disappointed. As I removed my waterproof over trousers, her expression changed,and her eyes widened. "Jim..I think you need to sort yourself out..." I followed her gaze, and much to my horror, my zip was undone after a hurried trip to the loo. Not only that, but my knob was peeping out. I was mortified, but somehow managed to regain my composure, after apologising.
I ensured that I told Sandra what had happened, in case of any comeback, but I didn't tell my manager, in case I had to go through the humiliation of filling out an incident form.
A few months later, I was doing a public health promotion in a shopping centre. Much to my astonishment, Ruth approached our stand, and told me that she had stayed stopped smoking, and proved it by blowing into our carbon monoxide monitor.

[Batsypatsy]

Place marking ... these are hilarious!

[Albadross]

Dave 'on me head son' 😂😂😂

[SecretWitch]

I cannot stop laughing at “Dad, Dad, excuse me, DAD?”....😂

[ilovepixie]

Today at work. I work in a shop and tripped over a box and went arse over tit in front of everyone!
Also got locked in the freezer at work and luckily had my mobile with me so could phone someone to come and rescue me!

[Chocolateisfab]

Once got locked in a bathroom at a customer's house (cleaner). Luckily I had my phone. Had to ring my ds who worked local as a window cleaner, he brought a ladder and a screwdriver and had to dismantle the broken lock.
Not sure why I even locked the door when the house was empty!!
Also had a magazine and a drink with me so not all bad!

[sadmummyatthemo]

I once got locked in the loo at work.I banged on the door for ages but no one was around so I had to use my mobile and ring the office to explain to a manager I was stuck 😳

[6060rachel]

I was sat on reception at a prestigious city centre solicitors...and (showing off to my colleague) did an almighty trump......and followed through.
My colleague had to go to C&A and buy me some new pants.🤭

[catgirl1976]

We had a huge, huge roll of bubble wrap delivered. For some reason I decided to “ride” it down the corridor. The friction then caused all of the seams of my cheapo new look trousers to some how discintergrate. Stood up and the whole inner leg (both side) had come undone and My knickers and thighs clearly on view with my trousers flapping around. In front of senior partner and directors. I was fairly senior management at the time. Hard for anyone to know what to say really...

Also once stood up from meeting with partner and period had leaked on to white leather chair. Same company.

[ShowMeTheKittens]

I went out with work colleagues for a celebration. Some of the managers came.
Because of the occasion ( a leaving do) we had a big blow up man. Not a really rude on, one in underpants and glasses and a moustache.
We had a lovely meal and the man was floating around with the balloons .
Some of us were a bit tipsy. One of us pulled down balloon man and had a look at him so we were all giving him funny names.
One who was tipsier offered a name, say, John 'Because she says he looks like John Smith with that moustache and the glasses!' Silence fell.
She had forgotten he was actually there at the table.( a manager)
'Actually I don't find that funny.' he said.He got quite angry.
It was a bit tense after that.

[haverhill]

Not mine exactly, but I recently projected a carefully prepared map of a site onto a screen for the benefit of those needing to navigate it. Unfortunately, the site included a swimming pool which was gloriously mislabelled as POO. The room gradually erupted into giggles as people spotted it.

[Newme19]

As a new police officer, in the 1980s, we went to a 'suspects on', possibly burglars in a basement flat. The top half of the window was open and I was skinny and agile then. 'My turn' I said to the area car driver. Climbed in, searched the flat, no burglars or items obliviously stolen. Left a note for the owners. Flat had a dead lock so had to climb out through the same window. Skirt lining got caught between my legs, on the latch, as I was coming out.
I was now trapped somehow with both legs out and torso somehow in. Don't ask me how?? Driver had to get between my legs and rip the skirt lining to get me out. Like a scene from Carry-on Constable. Thank goodness for 21st Century police uniform!

[clockworklime]

Just remembered another farty one.

I was sat in the open plan office with music playing really loud, so I absent-mindedly just let a massive fart go and felt it rattle out of me. I was shocked at how big the fart turned out to be and I hoped to god it didn’t stink. After a few seconds I was relieved that it was just mostly air.

Then I went cold with the horrific realisation that I was hearing loud music on my HEADPHONES and every single person in the huge office would have heard my arse.

[Itssosunny]

HotChocolateLover, crickey
He must never poop at his friends' home

[starabara]

Two spring to mind. I’m not counting drunk ones, because I work in a boozy industry where nearly everyone is so drunk they won’t recall it any better than me.

1. walking down a huge marble staircase with my senior manager, carrying a coffee and my briefcase. I tripped, slammed into him, poured fortunately cold ish coffee down his back, flashed my pants and we both wound up in a heap of spilled paperwork with one of my legs inexplicably over his shoulder and his head in the groin.
   
   In between laughing, trying not to cry at the bruises which immediately blossomed, I thought i was dying. Minutes later when I realised 200 people were in the foyer below to witness, I wished I was.
   
   
2. we were staying in a hotel, which is situation normal. Tight on time following a breakfast meeting I asked a senior colleague to pop back to my room and I’d get some documentation for him. So far, this is normal.
   
   What’s not normal, is he got a eyelash caught so I invited him to pop into my bathroom to use the mirror and light. And I forgot the plethora of mooncup, make
   Up, durex, a vibrator and some vaginal silicone balls that were merrily on display in my unzipped toiletries bag.
   
   
   He never said a word. I never said a word.

[speakout]

I gave a presentation for work at a prestiguious University to a group involving three professors- heads of departments.
When I finished my business colleague whispeed in my ear " you have the back of your skirt tucked in your knickers"

Oh dear.