To be livid with DD for hurting DDog

[HelenLaBloodyAnnoyed]

DD is 11. Tonight we were at the park with our dog. There's a slide that's on a hill so it doesn't have steps up to it. She was standing at the top and about to throw DDogs ball when DDog knocked it out of her hands and it rolled down the slide. DDog jumped on the slide without thinking and went sliding down after it, pretty gracefully actually. DD thought it was hilarious but I told her to keep DDog and the ball away from it as DDog had been lucky not to get hurt.

Half hour later I'm across the park pushing DS on the swings and I see DD drop the ball down the slide. DDog goes to run away from the top of the slide and down the hill alongside it but DD blocks DDog so DDog slips down backwards and twists halfway down (it's not a straight slide.) Again, DD is in hysterics.

When I tell her off she says she didn't mean to and that it was an accident. Her sister backs up what I saw - that she dropped it and blocked DDog deliberately. As I was putting the DC to bed I saw that DDog isn't bearing weight on one of her legs and told DD so. She said "fine, I'm sorry" and stroked DDog. AIBU to think that doesn't cut it and to be absolutely livid? She messaged her dad about it who messaged me saying she's done nothing wrong

YANBU and her dad is no bloody help. The problem with just punishing her is that it doesn't stop her doing stupid things when no one is looking. I'd want to really talk to her until she got the message. I'd be livid too though.

I'd be livid. She has thoughtlessly hurt the dog (who needs a check up at the vets). And doesn't seem to care.

She may not have meant to but her reaction afterwards is very worrying.

She needs to be made to understand that the dog is a living creature not a toy.

Meant to add - don't trust her alone with him.

YANBU - at 11, she is old enough to know better and you had already told her to keep the dog away from the slide.

I hope the poor dog is ok!

I’d be livid too.

Has she properly apologised yet? Does are seem upset about the dog being hurt?

Oh god - I’d be apoplectic. My DC who is impulsive and also hates being in the wrong might have done this and then lied. But would have been sobbing and guilt-ridden as soon as they understood the severity.

I would punish for the lie and for the initial defiance of your instruction.

And get the vet to tell her off!

I’d be furious too. I hope your dog recovers quickly

Quite callous behavior. I would be concerned.
No useful advice though. Hope dog is alright.

Little brat, you’re not wrong at all. That’s such a nasty thing to do.

That's nasty, your dog possibly has soft tissue damage; similar to a sprain, best to get a checkup as she may need anti inflammatories. I would take the cost of vet out of any savings or treat DD has or was expecting. She needs to learn being cruel to the dog is very wrong especially as our dogs trust us so much, she's old enough to know better and not be cruel and not to lie.

And absolutely no pocket money or treats until the vets bill has been cleared.

I would be cross that dog had been hurt. BUT I think she didn't think of the consequences and thought it would be funny to see dog on slide.
I don't think it was deliberate to hurt dog?

How awful, if ddog does need the vet I'd be deducting cost from any pocket or treat money- fair enough an accident is an accident but to deliberate do it after being told it could be dangerous.

Horrible that DD did that. But my dogs have caused each other similar injuries playing, or come back limping after bolting into the forest, and two days of taking it easy generally does the trick.

Honestly, as well as having a loooong talk about what she did and not accepting any attempt at minimising or lying, tell her if the dog is still sore in the morning he'll be going to the vets to get checked out and she will be paying for it. Make sure you follow through.

How dare your dh text that to you without hearing the adults version of events 😡

Well the consequences should be to go to the vets with you and the dog so the whole sorry tale can be repeated to the vet while dogs examined.

For consequences, take the vet's bill out of her next pocket money

• it'll be the next few weeks probably, if DDog needs actual treatment

I'd take the money for a vet's visit out of pocket money or similar funds/treats until it's paid for. She needs to learn that actions have consequences, and that she needs to do as you instruct. I've always told my DDs that they can ask me WHY I make a demand, but they don't do it again until they understand my reasoning.

Poor dog. YANBU.

Shit thing to do and the fact she’s gone running to her Dad to make you look like an ogre and her the picked on child is unacceptable too.

To laugh at something experiencing pain is pretty unusual and worrying behaviour.
Does she have form for this kind of thing?
Your poor dog. I hope she is ok, please dont leave her with your daughter again.

I plan to take DDog to the vet tomorrow if no better after a nights rest, which I was thinking DD should pay for.

She did a similar thing a few weeks ago with her sister who's 4. We were out walking the dog and she was at the side of the water putting a stick in it and her sister was next to her watching. I said to both of them to come away as it was really windy. Not long after, I'm changing DS' nappy and I look up to see DD leading her sister back to the water by the hand. I shouted to come away and I could tell she heard me but carried on anyway. Before I could get there, DD(4) was knocked off balance by the wind and fell into the canal. Again DDs attitude was that it wasn't her fault at all and how was she supposed to know what would happen.

I hope your dog is ok OP. It seems like it was initially just a thoughtless, though unkind, thing she did but messaging her dad is a deliberate act to try and get out of trouble.
I don't know if he lives with you but he's obviously not taking it seriously which is worrying for poor dog in your home.

She let a 4 year old fall into a canal when you'd instructed her to stay away?

There's boundary testing and there's.... this.

You need some firm and hard consequences very, very fast. A total ban on any kind of trust for starters.

Your update is seriously worrying op.

What she did to the dog is awful, too right I’d be livid.
The canal incident is frightening, why is she disobeying you to the point she’s injuring dogs and putting your other children at risk?
She’d be losing some privileges if she was mine.