I need help...NOW!! - Warning Not a pleasant subject

[Cantgiveashitliterally]

OMG...Im hoping someone can help me, this is so embarassing, I feel like i have a tennis ball stuck up my bum, i cant go to the toilet and it hurts, I have been sitting on the toilet for over an hour and it feels like its coming, but...Nothing. Im sore, i feel sick and shaking. I have never felt anything like this before, somebody please tell me what to do. How can I "unblock". Ive tried walking around, drinking water, I dont know what else to do.

PS i know this sounds like a joke, but, I promise its not.

Yep, overdid Prune Juice one time and

Worked way faster than I expected.. eeeek

This post has lightened my morning considerably- and an added bonus is a trip to Boots to stock up with relievers I've never heard of.

This stands out as one of the most informative, supportive threads on Mumsnet.

I have to say I'm rather surprised that a nurse has never come across the concept of a rectocele. They are incredibly common. It's sad that women's pelvic floor issues remain such a mystery.

Sorry, Smother? I meant as a constipation treatment. Goes through you faster than chocolax

I remember how I couldn't do number 2 after giving birth. On one occasion older DS fell asleep under the bathroom door waiting for me. DH got annoyed with me for staying that long. What an imbecile.

@Itssosunny.. I was exactly the same..i had to sit on a special cushion for ages! I had an episiotomy and 3rd degree tear. I swore to all the midwives I'd never do it again and i must have meant it cos I never did! I was given fibregel and lactulose every day in hosp and they had to close the ward to visitors cos they thought I had the noro virus. Not wanting to go into too much detail of course!

@BooseysMom, mine wasn't that bad but even though but was hurting like hell. I did eventually go to the chemist to buy some Sena tablets. Don't remember if they helped. In the hospital ward all they offered was paracetamol. Should have talked about possible constipation as I didn't think of that. Didn't have constipation after giving birth to my first DS though.

Wish I'd found this thread weeks ago. I swear it was a cannon ball. I lay on the bathroom floor for three hours sobbing crying breaking off little bits at a time. My doctor forgot to tell me the impact of iron tablets!!

Ouch! you poor thing @whyamisoconfused.
Amazing the things the docs forget to tell you! It was the same for me when I went thru hell in hosp.

@BooseysMom I'd have expected a hospital to get it right. What did they do?

OOOh, just reread your post. I thought you were the same as me.

I’ve had this twice this year
June and last week...both times I think caused by not drinking enough water.
I’ve never tried dulcolax

This is what I cart around with me when I go away
Kefir
Dried figs
Fig juice...califig
Reglucol
Colon cleanse
Linoforce
Little oranges
Aloe pura tablets
Senna tablets
Psyllium husk powder
Coral calcium
I take dark chocolate ...but more for my own pleasure not for constipation

I’ve never tried laxido, movicol, dulcolax or prune juice
Is there anything I’ve missed
We can just keep adding to the list

@whyamisoconfused... yep mine was the opposite to yours not funny any of it!!

My grandparents used to give me Syrup of Figs when I was little and bunged up. I used it when I was pregnant too, it's delicious.

@ChristineBaskets.. that sounds nice. I wish I'd been given that in hosp instead of the awful fibregel

I've been constipated twice in my life. The first time was quite mild so I decided to have a McDonalds as that had given me a dodgy stomach before.

It didn't work so I popped out as planned and then shat myself a little bit, in my car. 😄

Never have I cursed so much about the closure of public toilets. 😡

The second time I sensibly bought something over the counter and just waited at home. It was like giving birth. The relief was incredible!