DH voted leave but can't articulate why

[DifferentViews]

Sorry if this has been done before, but i need to get this off my chest and perhaps get new insight or come to a better understanding, so i can discharge some of the anger i feel.
So, i voted remain and he voted leave. Up to a point, i am prepared to accept we have different political views and can move on.
Talking to him last night, i asked, knowing what he knows now, would he still have voted leave and he said yes.
Cue a long discussion as to why and really he has no real idea what he was voting for, or what he wanted. Its just so woolly...he wanted change, but can't articulate what that would be.
It was just a knee jerk reaction to not liking the current situation and wanting things to be 'different'.
Its just made me so angry that he would still vote that way again in spite of all the evidence that things wont be 'better' out the EU.
His argument is that we don't know whether it might be better, so that gamble is worth it, but i am really struggling to see his point of view.
Please, can someone give me some idea how i can come to terms with this, so i am not consumed with impotent anger at him? Thank you.
Ps this is not meant to be a goady post against those that voted leave, if you have a well thought out argument and honestly believe it, that's great.

OP, he's allowed his views, just as you are. Please, can someone give me some idea how i can come to terms with this, so i am not consumed with impotent anger at him? Makes you sound abusive.

Abusive? I didn't say I'm showing my anger, i just feel angry...does that make me abusive?

Op lots of people voted based on emotion or a desire for change. He is not alone. Even if he is not informed.

No i agree with you, most of the people i know who voted leave didn't actually know why they wanted to leave, Just voted out because thought its a change but cant actually give reasons why they think it will be in our best interest to leave.

Is the rest of your relationship ok?

Of course he is allowed his views but he has voted for Brexit which will have serious long term consequences for this country.

You have a right to vote and a responsibility to educate yourself as to why you make these important decisions.

If you exercise the right then you should be able to articulate your reasons it is not unreasonable to suggest this.

OP the abuse comment is nonsense. I have no idea where you go and what you do. I too am unable to not hold people who voted for Brexit with no idea why responsible for this whole mess.

I am yet to meet a leave voter with a coherent argument.

I'd be angry too OP. Sorry probably not helpful!

I understand how you feel. It's such a catastrophic event, and for me at least, I am very angry that my and my children's lives are going to be , already have been, so negatively impacted. I have a few friends who voted leave and I really struggle to reconcile the person they are and the choice they made. It makes no sense to me. Nice, good people, who want to impoverish us ? For what? I don't have an answer for how to get Pabst the anger- but wanted to say, you are not alone in feeling.

Do you usually interrogate him about his voting if it differs from yours? Do you trust his judgement on other matters in day to day life?
I get that Brexit is exceedingly important to many of us, but for some it just isn't, and they don't want to be harangued (from either side!) about their voting history. Some people feel very removed from the system of politics in the UK, and that's their choice, surely?

Sadly OP it's much the same story when you try to engage any leaver in this way. They might bleat a bit about sovereignty or being free from the unelected Brussels burHeaucrats, but they have zero to say on what will be better in practical terms and how our collective lives will be materially better than they are now. I don't think your dh is unusual unfortunately. I would just agree to differ and never speak of this again.

To me (with my experiences) yes. The fact you made him justify his choice to you, is abusive. His vote is his vote. The fact you feel it's acceptable to feel angry everytime you look at him (he will feel it btw) is horrible.

The OP isn’t abusive for goodness sake.

Makes you sound abusive.
Utter rubbish. I'm sure most of us feel anger against our partners on specific topics. That's a long way from all of us being abusive.

OP, I share your anger, but I do think it will dissipate once we're not hearing nothing but Brexit on every news programme. It's impossible to get past the divisions at the moment. Don't give into the anger and create a division that may extend way past the resolution of the current farce. That would be a real shame.

Urgh, it must be tough to accept he’s really not thinking and just ‘feeling’ whatever that actually means. There are plenty of topics that is my DH didn’t feel the same as me about I’d be upset and see him very negatively. Issues relating to the homosexuality, abortion, women’s rights, social issues, brexit. Thank god he’s exactly the same as me on those topics.

What @bsc said. Why on earth do the feel you have the right to make him justify his political persuasions? I'd have told you to bugger off.

It comes to something when a couple can't discuss politics without one of them being accused if being abusive! I'm passionately anti Brexit, my dh voted remain but doesn't necessarily agree with another vote. I can get a bit carried away at times, so when it gets to the point where he no longer wishes to engage, he'll just say "let's agree to disagree". He doesn't acuse me of being abusive, because I'm not. Had I frog marched him to the polling station with a gun to his head to get him to vote the way I did, then yes, that would be abusive.

I also live with a leave voter who has never come up with a coherent argument as to what exactly will be achieved by it. Other than him, we are a family of remainers.

It is frustrating. It shows them to lack analytical thinking and they can come across as rather dim, even if they aren't.

A pp's coment that feeling anger about this makes you abusive is utterly ridiculous. Complete bullshit.

To be fair a lot of remain voters also voted without being able to articulate why.

One of the joys of democracy is that everyone's vote is worth the same regardless off whether they understand what they're voting for or not and whether they have thought about it or not!

And let's be honest, neither side could actually know what they voted for: who knows what the future of the EU looks like and noone knows what leave looks like.

I'm a remainer, but I despair at the polarization of views that is so destructive and the idea that someone else's views are only valid if they can robustly defend them.

The 'abusive' bollocks is part of the whole leavers are victims narrative.

They have opinions and they voted but they bear no responsibility for their actions and have no need to explain why they felt it was worth getting the country in this mess.

Leavers are the victims of the nasty Remainers.

My fear is this: I suggest it means that your husband is either not very bright, or is xenophobic/racist but doesn't want to articulate it.
Which doesn't help me come to terms with anything :(

Those of you saying i harangued him, it was a discussion, i didn't tie him to a chair, shine a light in his eyes, pull out his fingernails. He could have stopped the discussion at any point.

Maybe he just didn't want to argue with you!
remainers tend to not listen to any other views anyway, so he's probably resigned to the fact that whatever he says (believes) is going to be dismissed.

Sadly OP it's much the same story when you try to engage any leaver in this way.

Utter bollocks.

I suggest it means that your husband is either not very bright, or is xenophobic/racist but doesn't want to articulate it.

Nasty bigoted rhetoric