DH voted leave but can't articulate why

[DifferentViews]

Sorry if this has been done before, but i need to get this off my chest and perhaps get new insight or come to a better understanding, so i can discharge some of the anger i feel.
So, i voted remain and he voted leave. Up to a point, i am prepared to accept we have different political views and can move on.
Talking to him last night, i asked, knowing what he knows now, would he still have voted leave and he said yes.
Cue a long discussion as to why and really he has no real idea what he was voting for, or what he wanted. Its just so woolly...he wanted change, but can't articulate what that would be.
It was just a knee jerk reaction to not liking the current situation and wanting things to be 'different'.
Its just made me so angry that he would still vote that way again in spite of all the evidence that things wont be 'better' out the EU.
His argument is that we don't know whether it might be better, so that gamble is worth it, but i am really struggling to see his point of view.
Please, can someone give me some idea how i can come to terms with this, so i am not consumed with impotent anger at him? Thank you.
Ps this is not meant to be a goady post against those that voted leave, if you have a well thought out argument and honestly believe it, that's great.

Utter bollocks

Yep, that's pretty much the standard of response I've come to expect.

Not everyone has good arguments for how they vote. You are expecting a rational argument with specific reasons.

He went with his gut feeling. He was generally dissatisfied and thought things might be better if we tried something else.

To you it seems like a poor reason. But I think many people will have voted this way based on general dissatisfaction with the way things are. Probably mostly nothing to do with the EU at all.

I'm another who is yet to meet a leaver who can properly articulate why they want to leave the EU without resorting to anger. They without fail trot out the same things as though they are reading from a script ' will of the people' was a popular one a few months back. The other day I got a load of abuse on a local Facebook page after challenging someone who claimed over half the population of the UK voted for Brexit. I pointed out that if he thought that 17 million was half of 66 million then he should go back to school.

They are IMO either not very intelligent and incapable of critical thinking.

I've just to meet a remain who can put together a coherent argument for their vote, other than fear of what would happen if we left, not being able to use the EU queue at the airport (/visa issues) or thinking only racists vote for brexit.

Azul, where did i say i was arguing with him? I just wanted to hear what he thought would be 'better' out of the EU. He couldn't say, he just wants things to be 'different' and even with the evidence that has now come to light, he would still vote the same way. It just feels like a huge gamble based on a a wish for change.

Sorry. That should say "I'm yet to meet"

I lived through the Scottish referendum and felt horrible case a result of it.

I heard some corkers given as justifications for voting and yes if I could logically contradict those it could be rage inducing . Fundamentally it and Brexit are about how you see your country and its relationship with bigger entities. Its as emotional as it is practical for many, many voters on either side. The justifications are often what the conscious mind creates after the decision has been made elsewhere.

There are some leavers who can explain why they voted that way - I have nothing but respect for them.
There are some leavers who spout nonsense about "I wanted Britain to be great again" - they make my blood boil.

The trouble was - there was no 3rd option. If there had been an option for "remain but reform", I probably would have voted for that myself to be honest.

Ah probably wise not to talk politics with your OH. I dont think it ends well often.

I feel a bit sorry for your husband though. You feel so angry and superior you're agreeing on the internet that he's some sort of racist cunt. That seems to be the go to place for remainers. No wonder people don't want to talk about it.

You have different political views, my husband's a Tory ffs. We don't talk about it, ever.

I feel it's a huge risk to remain, with the EU moving more and more to QMV and "ever closer union", with the minimal power/debate in the hands of the EU parliament. All that power with not enough checks and balances...

Remember that the government (Cameron) was urging us to vote 'Stay'.

A lot of people didn't vote Conservative. A lot of people resent the government. A lot of people are naturally rebellious.

There you have a huge number of people who are inclined to vote the other way just because Cameron recommended Stay. Regardless of what they think of the issue.

That is why the government should always take a neutral stance when they hold a referendum.

@adriennewillfly Me too, and ironically whilst travelling extensively in Europe I’ve rarely seen any difference in the EU and non-EU queue at airports. In fact a couple of times flying into Dublin the non-EU queue was much smaller.

AnnaNutherThing - completely. Agree with you.

I do not think anyone knew what they were voting for or against since there was no deal to scrutinise; and no objective information from which to make a decision - information which the government of the time should have supplied to each household, with references to follow up from leading economists for and against. Instead we had an embarrassing circus.

Ask someone who works (or more likely workED) in the fishing industry why they voted out - the EU destroyed their industry; and their votes to leave make perfect sense.

The guy can vote which way he fucking wants and doesn't need to justify why to anybody. Democracy mumsnetters. Some of you need to educate youselves on it.

We voted different ways lucky for me DP and I accept that. We have discussed it at length and neither of us has accused the other of being stupid, racist etc.

WoollyHeart
*Not everyone has good arguments for how they vote. You are expecting a rational argument with specific reasons.

He went with his gut feeling. He was generally dissatisfied and thought things might be better if we tried something else.

To you it seems like a poor reason. But I think many people will have voted this way based on general dissatisfaction with the way things are. Probably mostly nothing to do with the EU at all*

That was the upshot of the discussion, as far i can tell. But i can't understand why those people that voted that way, with this reasoning would vote the same way, after seeing where we are today and that the probable 'change' they voted for is unlikely to benefit the country.

Actually I think the op is abusive. Growing up my aunt was a staunch old school labour supporter and trade union activist. My mum on the other hand voted for Maggie and was definitely a capitalist. They had similar lives although my mum was somewhat better educated. They were able to have endless debates about their respective points of view without hating each other at the end of it. My mum often thought my aunt was being a sheep and simply led by the people she worked with to her point of view. In the end she bought her council house and when she died left a lot of money to her children. My mum thought that was great.

It would be appalling for me to say that my mum voted as she did because she was cleverer or my aunt just wasn't very bright (and vice versa). They both had different views and were entitled to them.

For what it's worth I think we are all being played by the media and this has turned into a political circus. I have heard remainers and leavers alike make very uneducated unsubstantiated points. My Facebook feed is full of utter nonsense from both sides. You absolutely should be able to set aside differing political views without getting cross and it very much sounds like you are goading your husband and he doesn't want to engage with you.

Thing is, after we leave, then when whole regions and sectors get poorer I will have only contempt for those suffering. You voted leave, and you fucking well got what you deserve. That includes the poorest, who will suffer the most.

I will not be alone in feeling like this. I think Leavers have no idea what a shitstorm of anger will be directed at them for the next few decades.

I feel like most people vive spoken to who voted leave because of all the immigration but they cant say that so they top toe around it.
More money for the NHS
We can trade with other non EU countries like Australia

ffs so people arfe going to go round blaming leavers for everything thats wrong in their lives

pathetic-you have different views and beliefs get over it op

'Abusive' - get real. Way to shut down a perfectly legitimate discussion. Some people do the same thing with words like 'narcissist', 'gaslighting', 'stalking', etc. Indiscriminate use dilutes the power of such terms and just makes you sound hysterical and... abusive.

@AnnaNutherThing - thank you
Fundamentally it and Brexit are about how you see your country and its relationship with bigger entities. Its as emotional as it is practical for many, many voters on either side. The justifications are often what the conscious mind creates after the decision has been made elsewhere.
I think i can use this to work through my anger. I knew MN would help me!

He doesn't have to explain nor justify anything to you. Seriously, who do you think you are?

You don’t need to come to turns with anything, he’s entitled to vote as he likes.

You are just making yourself sound over dramatic snd silly frankly. Get over yourself lol