For those who would never let a baby cry it out. What's mu next option?

[BoobiesToTheRescue]

Bedtime at 6.30pm last night. He was exhausted and I couldn't make it much later by 11.15pm he had woken between 10-15 times, roughly every 15 minutes. The rest of the night was horrific. Nights have been mainly horrific most of his life.
He's 13 weeks breast feeding and I've eliminated all top allergy food groups for 2 months now.

He's breastfed and I've followed a routine by Little Ones so I know he's getting a near-as-damnit good amount of sleep during the day.
So I've tried:

-making very sure he's not over or under tired
-sleep cues, darkness, white noise, swaddle
-strict bath and bed wind down routine
-feeding to sleep (refuses to feed after a while)
-patting a shushing
-rocking to sleep
-cuddle to sleep
-buggy/car seat (the second the movement stops he's awake).
-co-sleeping
-own cot
-swing chair
-meds for reflux
-pain meds in case it was teething or other pain
-raising the mattress
-swaddle
-checked room temperature
-dry nappy

• skin is good, no hair tourniquets
• dummy (rejects)
• clothes that smell like me

-muslin with my milk I've tried more besides these are just the obvious one

Last night I'd exhausted every avenue, he won't sleep on me so just getting up and sitting in the rocking chair with him doesn't work.
Eventually I lay next him him with him crying and he fell asleep.
Then he woke 2 mins later and cried again. So that doesn't even work.

This is absolute hell.

My dd1 was like this (we nearly didn't go for dc 2 because of it which is why we have a 3.5year age gap - then had twins but they actually slept).

We tried everything and in the end worked out a shift pattern so I'd pace and feed over the first 4 hours of the night so dh got a block of sleep then dh would take over at the end of the 3/4am feed and take dd downstairs to pace so I could get some sleep. It improved slightly at 4 months then was better from 6months (not perfect).

I would stop trying to fix you ds (some babies are just cryers) and focus on survival techniques knowing it's a short term thing. Dd1 is now 11 and the kindest most helpful dc I could wish for.

My theory is each child is challenging at one point so with dd it was baby stage and dtds it was toddler stage (full on lay-on-the-floor tantrums). Clearly the teen years will be a breeze in our house (yes I'm living in my little bubble as it got me through the tough stuff).

Also you could then bottle feed him the expressed milk in a far more upright position?

Hi
Bad reflux issues experience here.

Lying flat made it worse so tilted cot made a little difference.

Specialist advice given to me-
Too much milk makes reflux worse. Imagine baby has worst heart burn. Drinking milk soothes it instantly, but milk causes heartburn, then baby drinks more milk.

If you have a fast supply, express and bottle feed with slow flow teats. Little and often.

The fast supply/ large volume of milk on top of lying down might be an issue. Might be of help?

Good luck. Hang in there.

Apologies if someone said this already, didn't have time to read 9 pages but I just remembered a friend of mine recently described something similar in the way your describing the crying. Would you try an osteopath? I've no idea of the validity of them, it could be all voodoo, but my friend said her baby was apparently 'out of alignment' and it was causing him discomfort. Osteopath did a massage-style adjustment on him and hes been like a new baby since.

DD was like this and nearly broke me.

I did also try an osteopath and for me, it worked. She slept from second session. The cry was pain as I suspected. I see you mention you have sciatica. Whilst verging into voodoo mine could tell I did by glancing at me and he also is correcting me, which has improved her. I have no idea why this works for DD and I but it does and since then we have one feed a night.

I had one like this - also fast letdown and oversupply. Shifts with DH and maximising sling time (if you can’t then can DH, or a friend, or a grandparent?) plus a lot of paid help with cooking / cleaning / washing got us through it.

But it was hell on earth, and I really feel for you.

Wizzing through this thread and saw domperidone mentioned way back. It’s not licensed for use in children with reflux any more and the contra indications have been reviewed due to cardiac risks. I may not have read what a pp said though.

You have my sympathy with the reflux. My eldest had a CMPA and severe reflux and it was awful for a long time.

Try reflux formula, changed our lives

My daughter has many issues. Severe reflux being one - currently waiting on some investigative surgery before deciding on a fundoplicaton or not. She is 3.5 now.

Domperidone isn't prescribed for reflux anymore. My daughter takes this 3 x's per day but for delayed gastric emptying. Delayed emptying can contribute to reflux so in theory it should help her reflux but only because it will get her stomach working a bit better!

I hope it improves for you soon! With any luck he will grow out of it sooner rather than later but I totally appreciate how awful it can be!

Sorry if this has been suggested already but the issues you are having sound very similar to one of mine (and it is tough so you have my sympathies!)- have you had him carefully checked for tongue tie/lip tie by a specialist?

Hi @BoobiesToTheRescue I haven't read the full thread so apologies if this had been mentioned.
A lady at one of my baby groups took her baby to a chiropractor who did some treatment on her, apparently whatever he 'fixed' was a result of the birthing process. Anyway, it did help her baby. Sorry it's vague, we only chatted briefly x

@BoobiesToTheRescue actually I used a really lovely cranial osteopath which helped my colicky/refluxy baby. If you're in the East Sussex area I could PM you her details if you'd like?

I haven't rtft (it late and I need to go to bed soon!) but we had a reflux baby and the Amby hammock saved our sanity. Seriously I was delirious with lack of sleep.

I got it second hand (bought new bit that the baby lies on) and it was the best money I have ever spent
In my life...

Good luck, it's bloody awful

Your lovely baby might be a bit big for a Babocush but maybe worth a try? It's a firm vibrating bed-type thing that straps onto a rocker. If the rocker can tilt upwards a lot it seems to help some babies get a lot of reflux relief

@Noloudnoises yes that's what I meant! Not a chiropractor!

What meds for reflux? In 13 weeks there is now at you could have tried omeprazole. That’s what I’d try. My daughter was like this. A total nightmare. Turned out she had a birth injury and also terrible silent reflux. After pain meds, Physio and losec she was a different child.

@noloudnoises I'm in Lewes, so very much East Sussex.
Please could you PM me the details?

Update on the reflux, he only woke every 3 hours last night and is clearly more comfortable sleeping - could the ranitidine increase work that quickly??

On the flip side we were in A&E at 6am because we were nearing 48 hours without a feed.
I thought maybe he had a sore throat because he has a cough at the moment. I also thought it might be the reflux?

But no, he has bronchiolitis. They suctioned his airways and he went straight on the boob and had a great feed and has had two more since then. He's been sleeping all morning. He's so relaxed, I'm hoping this is because he having a break from the reflux and not because he's getting more unwell.

Oh bless his heart

for baby and tea for you

CIO only works because the babies eventually exhaust themselves screaming and realise nobody will come for them, it’s horrific. Please don’t do this.

I completely understand your desperation, my eldest had colic and he seemed to scream 24 hours a day. Second DC also wasn’t the best sleeper to begin with so I do understand. Your baby is only 13 weeks old so whilst you say you’ve tried everything, you must have given up on them fairly quickly. Sometimes consistency is key, that’s my point.

Lots of misinformation on here, formula won’t be a magic potion and if anything may cause more issues if your baby currently has reflux/colic. Go back to the GP’s and explain the situation, see if they have any further advice. The best advice I have to give is that this will pass, your baby won’t be this way forever. I know you’ve tried swaddling and white noise but keep at it with those, they help a baby feel secure if nothing else. I second trying a sleepyhead if you haven’t already.

Are you sure he’s not hungry? Is he feeding and gaining weight ok? My daughter was a nightmare but we realised it was because the poor thing was hungry and not getting enough milk (she had a tongue tie). Once I topped up with 1 bottle at 9pm before bed she started to sleep 9-7 every night, it was like magic. I was so dead set on exclusively breastfeeding I didn’t want to give any formula, but she really needed it.

Omg he's so chilled! He actually played on his play mat for 10 minutes!

I thought he hated it but he probably just hated laying flat!!

Again - THANK YOU for making me see that it was reflux!

He looks gorgeous and I'm so happy for you that he's feeling better. Olbas oil on his vest neck might help keep his nose clearer.

It does sound like the reflux was the key issue and was my initial thought, I hope you can find all the triggers as that should make weaning easier. Even with severe allergies I think they don't start until 17 weeks, but your paediatrician will hopefully give you a nutrition plan.

If he still has any issues then the tonsil / adenoids issue is one I've heard of from 2 mums who had constant screamers; adenoids grow after the baby is born and if the baby's tonsils are enlarged they can lead to a constricted throat causing pain. A cranial osteopath may also help at least relax him, and it won't do any harm to try it once and see.

Olbas oil, good call that hasn't crossed my mind. I have that in the cupboard, thank you.

OP - Good to hear you news, I hope it continues!

You could also have a hot steamy bath or shower while he lolls about in the bathroom, so he can breathe in the steam.