For those who would never let a baby cry it out. What's mu next option?

[BoobiesToTheRescue]

Bedtime at 6.30pm last night. He was exhausted and I couldn't make it much later by 11.15pm he had woken between 10-15 times, roughly every 15 minutes. The rest of the night was horrific. Nights have been mainly horrific most of his life.
He's 13 weeks breast feeding and I've eliminated all top allergy food groups for 2 months now.

He's breastfed and I've followed a routine by Little Ones so I know he's getting a near-as-damnit good amount of sleep during the day.
So I've tried:

-making very sure he's not over or under tired
-sleep cues, darkness, white noise, swaddle
-strict bath and bed wind down routine
-feeding to sleep (refuses to feed after a while)
-patting a shushing
-rocking to sleep
-cuddle to sleep
-buggy/car seat (the second the movement stops he's awake).
-co-sleeping
-own cot
-swing chair
-meds for reflux
-pain meds in case it was teething or other pain
-raising the mattress
-swaddle
-checked room temperature
-dry nappy

• skin is good, no hair tourniquets
• dummy (rejects)
• clothes that smell like me

-muslin with my milk I've tried more besides these are just the obvious one

Last night I'd exhausted every avenue, he won't sleep on me so just getting up and sitting in the rocking chair with him doesn't work.
Eventually I lay next him him with him crying and he fell asleep.
Then he woke 2 mins later and cried again. So that doesn't even work.

This is absolute hell.

You can get a calpol diffuser plug in which is similar to olbas oil but a bit less strong but the LED is super bright - get some duct tape or blu tack to cover it with.

A humidifier might be worth having, too.

Humidifiers work so well. Especially the vicks ones they're amazing we have one for our toddler she sleeps so much better with it.

It sounds like you’ve got some places to investigate OP. You have my wholehearted sympathy, my boy only had a fraction of what you describe and it’s hellish. Really does sound like reflux to me. I’m sure you’ll find your way through the options, personally I found the management stuff as helpful as medication.

For us that was: As upright as possible, no shaking or winding or wobbling post feed (figures he’d hate the swing), keep upright for 20 mins post feed (I didn’t co-sleep until he was older because flat surfaces and feeding lying down were Bad News). Gaviscon worked for us by giving one dose with the feed before bed, I put in a syringe and slipped the syringe in alongside my nipple when feeding. It wasn’t allergies for us but makes sense to fully investigate that in your situation. I fed little and often, only one boob at a time.

Also didn’t think I saw anyone post this article, which I found helpful in deciding how to tackle the issue. kellymom.com/hot-topics/reflux/

I could have written your post a couple of years ago. After lots of trial and error we found he had allergy to milk that took weeks of no dairy to show improvement and silent reflux. Things that made the difference were omeprazol dissolvable tablets and ranitidin, moving from BF to formula, using carobel to make formula heavier, using a dairy free formula called neocate, putting him on his stomach to sleep (breathing monitor underneath) and a consultation with Alison Scott write (magic sleep fairy).

I had really bad mental health problems by the end of this 2 year struggle. Please get some breathing space where and when you can.

I know I keep resurrecting this thread but last night I put him to bed at 7pm, and he didn't wake until 11.15 for a feed

He's never done that!

In fact, I've never had a baby do that!

After that he woke twice more but for genuine feeds. Not fussing or screaming.

It's a miracle!

I could cry happy tears for you OP! He is just beautiful! My boy screamed for eight months straight on prescription reflux medication when awake even after switching to a soy based formula which both helped him sleep better at least then one day he just turned into a smiling happy kid from then on. It was so,so challenging especially since he was medically fragile. I never thought of hurting him but I wondered if I could survive his babyhood!

LMB13 We tried that formula initially for early in his life and several others thank the lord our son tolerated isomil soy formula which was far cheaper!

Delighted for you @BoobiesToTheRescue, long may it last. I hope his bronchiolitis is getting better too.

OP I'm delighted for you. You sound like an entirely different woman to the one who started this thread.

So happy for you!

Fantastic OP, I'm so pleased for you!!!!!

Brilliant news OP. What a fantastic outcome for both you and your little baby. Thank goodness for MN! I wish I had it when dd was a baby.

OP this is great news, resurrect as much as you like, it’s always good to hear that things are working out. Have you done that thing where you feel the need to keep checking on him to see if he’s ok, just because he’s actually sleeping

This is rough on you but know you are not alone and you are going obviously very clued up already on the things to try! We had terrible sleep and it peaked 12-16 weeks when we were having 20-45 minute wake ups similar to you. Reflux medication can take several weeks to get working so it might be worth exploring that further (in the end it was me eating egg and oranges triggering it. I would definitely recommend cutting out fruit juice if you haven't already). We found that once baby had had several wakes adrenaline was so high that it was almost impossible to stay asleep for any decent amount of time. We bought this really loud shush machine called a munchkin shush that helped baby to reset a bit and then loud white noise (as loud as a shower is the recommendation) playing helped link at least a couple of cycles. We still have a bad sleeper but chunks of hours now rather than minutes so much more manageable. It will pass so hang in there!

Have you done that thing where you feel the need to keep checking on him to see if he’s ok, just because he’s actually sleeping

YES. Or more so, waking up in the middle of the night with a start and panicking and checking he's breathing. Leaping out my skin. That's a horrible feeling!

He waking after half an hour sounds a lot like ds2, he eventually was diagnosed as having reflux, he was never sick but just couldn't sleep horizontal as the acid would cause so much pain. I would suggest a sling for naps during the day, and see Gp, we had infant gaviscon which I would make up a small syringe of using a little expressed breastmilk, and give it to him before a feed, and hen feed as normal. It made a difference in 24 hours and suddenly could manage longer stints in bed. I would also encourage you to read Elizabeth Pantley no cry sleep solution, it really helped but was super gentle and fitted my philosophy on kind ways to get children to sleep more independently- or at least not wake up every half hour!