For those who would never let a baby cry it out. What's mu next option?

[BoobiesToTheRescue]

Bedtime at 6.30pm last night. He was exhausted and I couldn't make it much later by 11.15pm he had woken between 10-15 times, roughly every 15 minutes. The rest of the night was horrific. Nights have been mainly horrific most of his life.
He's 13 weeks breast feeding and I've eliminated all top allergy food groups for 2 months now.

He's breastfed and I've followed a routine by Little Ones so I know he's getting a near-as-damnit good amount of sleep during the day.
So I've tried:

-making very sure he's not over or under tired
-sleep cues, darkness, white noise, swaddle
-strict bath and bed wind down routine
-feeding to sleep (refuses to feed after a while)
-patting a shushing
-rocking to sleep
-cuddle to sleep
-buggy/car seat (the second the movement stops he's awake).
-co-sleeping
-own cot
-swing chair
-meds for reflux
-pain meds in case it was teething or other pain
-raising the mattress
-swaddle
-checked room temperature
-dry nappy

• skin is good, no hair tourniquets
• dummy (rejects)
• clothes that smell like me

-muslin with my milk I've tried more besides these are just the obvious one

Last night I'd exhausted every avenue, he won't sleep on me so just getting up and sitting in the rocking chair with him doesn't work.
Eventually I lay next him him with him crying and he fell asleep.
Then he woke 2 mins later and cried again. So that doesn't even work.

This is absolute hell.

It was more to get the idea if he was a complete bottle refuser. I had one who point blank reused to tolerate any type of bottle and any type of dummy (I tried all the different makes I could buy) but would self settle thumb sucking. This was the child who would sleep alone from day 1.
The sleep refuser took a dummy.

Honestly, I don't believe it's something that can be influenced all that much by parents. It's something you have to try to live around. Why the 630 bedtime? What would happen if you kept him up a bit later?

What about day time naps, do you make everything quiet and calm or do you keep standard background noise on?

Have you tried music? Lullabies?

Have you tried recording you reading something so he can hear your voice constantly without you getting a sore throat?

user you really didn't read the OP did you? 😂

6.30 bedtime because he's 13 weeks and had been awake for 2 hours by that point and was very tired.

Any earlier and I wouldn't hAve been able to get him to sleep and it would have been a battle.

You poor thing, that’s torture. Is he gaining weight and doing well apart from this? Feeding well during the day?

Controlled crying.

In the kindest way, what you're doing is ridiculous.

Part of parenting is helping your child learn how to sleep.

I'm really really grateful for the suggestions.

But pleeeeeease read the list of stuff I have tried before hand.

People are suggesting things that I have put in the list.

Does he throw himself backwards or arch his back when hes kicking you?

You're having a hellish time. All I can think to say is the following:

Have you support to give YOU a break? Expressing would help achieve that at least?

Have you tried latex dummies?

Also I responded on a similar post a few months back something like "you said you tried all these things but how long did you try them for? It takes you and baby time to adapt" not sure if that was you too.

And yes while it doesn't feel like it at the moment it won't always be like this.

Have you considered a bottle of formula at bed time?

In the kindest way, what you're doing is ridiculous.

I could not agree more with this statement. This is 100% how I feel right now.

Ah, wait til he's 5 months before CC.

Switch to formula in the meantime. Will fill him up more, and you can share nights 50/50 with partner.

I've suggested something you put on the list but I asked what meds you had tried. What does your GP think?

No, I have absolutely no reason to think forumla would help.

I make a ridiculous amount of milk which is too much for him. Let alone adding another heavy thing onto his stomach.

Sorry Nanna I forgot to reply to that.

Been to the GP and he has a consultant and we have an allergy appt.

He's currently on ranitidine which has helped a lot. Much happier baby.

We have gaviscon which I'm extremely reluctant to try. It didn't help with my other kids and caused constipation which made things worse, not better, and the constipation continued for weeks after I'd even stopped the gaviscon.

You say he refuses to feed after a while, any chance there isn't enough for him to feed on? How is your supply?

I aso agree with the poster who says how long did you try thinngs for? You seem to have tried alot in a short space of time. It is the one thing I realised way too late, that I was so desperate for sleep, that I was flitting between techniques before results would really have shown.

Does he scream all day long too? Mine did, I don't know where he found the energy!!

My next suggestion is earplugs.

Switch to formula? Fill him up?

Why are you assuming he is hungry? I've given the absolute opposite indication that he has hunger.

Oh cross post about supply!

I don't have any specific advice for you but you have my sympathy and I wanted to say well done for your perseverance! My dd had milk allergy and silent reflux and used to scream night and day (so not the same problem) and it was hell. I survived and so will you. When she hit six ish months we did controlled crying as nothing else worked. It did work to an extent. She'd still wake up in pain, but after we'd done what we could to help we'd have to leave her to eventually get herself back to sleep, instead of screaming forever. If I stayed in the room she'd scream for ten times longer.

No, he no longer screams all day long. This is how I know the ranitidine dose is now working. He's been a very happy day time baby for about 6 weeks now.

Not at night though... perhaps because he's laying down?!

Cranial osteopathy with someone trained to work with small babies. The birth process is brutal. He might need some adjustments or the nerves in his neck are restricted which affects digestion. So agreed by medical science that BUPA used to pay for it.

Really hard one and you have my sympathy. I think the problem might be that you're trying too much stuff. 4 different makes of swing chair!!! Babies need time to get used to stuff so I would pick one thing (co-sleeping, swing chair or shush and pat with white noise would be top 3) and try only that for at least a week. I know you've tried these before but at 13 weeks you can't have done all the things on your list consistently. Babies like consistency and are also funny in what works one night won't work the next.
Good luck.

Boobies, no one is assuming anything, we are suggesting possibilities and you are coming accross as quite rude!
I know you are tired and desperate but people trying their best to help. Over the internet we only have your words. No one here has met your baby so it is very hard to advise. All we can do is suggest what we have tried ourselves in your situation.

We have never had a full night sleep with our two-year old DS. The latest version of this is he will go down fine, but wake a few hours later and won't go back down until he is in our bed.

We waited 19 months before we decided to visit a pediatrician about his bad sleeping (didn't want to be dismissed as 'those parents' and go any earlier). Turns out DS had enlarged adoniods that were restricting his breathing, waking him up at multiple times during the night. Having them removed a month ago hasn't been the miracle cure we had hoped it would be, but there's no denying he does sleep better; just now not in his own cot! Our DD is due any day now. We are just finishing off decorating a new bedroom for DS with a low access bed. We are hoping that this might encourage him to stay in bed. We will see.

Anyway, at 13 weeks, DS was EBF on demand, so we were getting up multiple times a night. We found that a humidifier and a Calpol Plug In worked for us. We also had him in a SleepyHead in our bee (I was too scared at that time to co-sleep) and whilst that helped, it brought its own challenges later in getting him out of it. And we also used Ewan the Dream Sheep and later the owl that played music when triggered by baby crying. It would play soft music/white noise for 20 minutes before it switched itself off.

Good luck X

*withiut feeding