For those who would never let a baby cry it out. What's mu next option?

[BoobiesToTheRescue]

Bedtime at 6.30pm last night. He was exhausted and I couldn't make it much later by 11.15pm he had woken between 10-15 times, roughly every 15 minutes. The rest of the night was horrific. Nights have been mainly horrific most of his life.
He's 13 weeks breast feeding and I've eliminated all top allergy food groups for 2 months now.

He's breastfed and I've followed a routine by Little Ones so I know he's getting a near-as-damnit good amount of sleep during the day.
So I've tried:

-making very sure he's not over or under tired
-sleep cues, darkness, white noise, swaddle
-strict bath and bed wind down routine
-feeding to sleep (refuses to feed after a while)
-patting a shushing
-rocking to sleep
-cuddle to sleep
-buggy/car seat (the second the movement stops he's awake).
-co-sleeping
-own cot
-swing chair
-meds for reflux
-pain meds in case it was teething or other pain
-raising the mattress
-swaddle
-checked room temperature
-dry nappy

• skin is good, no hair tourniquets
• dummy (rejects)
• clothes that smell like me

-muslin with my milk I've tried more besides these are just the obvious one

Last night I'd exhausted every avenue, he won't sleep on me so just getting up and sitting in the rocking chair with him doesn't work.
Eventually I lay next him him with him crying and he fell asleep.
Then he woke 2 mins later and cried again. So that doesn't even work.

This is absolute hell.

I honestly think it sounds like silent reflux. Get back on to the GP- maybe they could increase the ranitidine? Or find something else to help!

You sound amazing! I have no idea where you've found the energy to try all your solutions already.

Bottle feed him your breast milk?

Could he be teething - some baby’s do start early

We had to put dd3 to sleep on a pillow in her crib at the side of us.

She still is a shit sleeper at 2

My friend tried the cranium massage and that worked - for a bit!

If he was really bad with reflux I’d really look in to not lying him flat.

It sounds like something medical if you've tried all these things so I hope you eventually get to the bottom of it.
You mentioned they only nap 30 mins in the day and you have to help them go back down, just wanted to say that my little one naps 30 mins maximum every 2 hours, started doing it at about the same age so I just went with it instead of trying to encourage more sleep as it was a losing battle.

The only other thing is, at night is the room completely pitch black? No phones, no alarms, no lamps, nothing? This was the only 'cure' for my baby at similar age after trying everything.

Good luck, sounds rough, hope you have someone who can have little one in the day so you can try and catch up on sleep.

Also, with the fast let down, I would pump a little off before hand, makes the feed more comfortable for baby.

Have you considered that oversupply might be the root of the problem?

It was also the first thing I thought

kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/supply-worries/fast-letdown is a good link

I have no other suggestions but you’ve got this @BoobiesToTheRescue You sound like a brilliant mum

Our little one was the same he is 3 now .
We tried all sorts ! In the end we had to switch to formula and it was cow and gate comfort , we had to put lactose drops in each bottle as the sugar was too much for him and caused him pain he would wake every 15 mins or so .

The milk with Dr Brown bottles helped 60% however we worked out it was wind , we would burp him and he would burp however we then would continue to burp him for nearly half hour (it was exhausting) then the BIGGEST burp ever would appear and he would sleep through! . We used to give his milk , then some gripe water.

Ye never used to take a feed during the night until we bumped him for ages and ages ! Slowly sitting him up and down, bouncing on knee etc.

He had reflux too but this wasn't his main cause , we had a wedge pillow he slept on and he was fine after all the above . It took us nearly 9 months to work out x

Hope he sleep soon x

Seconding a wedge pillow. My dd had horrendous reflux and colic and the wedge pillow made it slightly better.

Your little one is only small, it'll get better I promise. I know it's shit now.

Do you know what dosage of ranitidine he is one. My CMPA reflux baby had to be on the highest dosage. They can have up yo 1MG pet KG or weight. When he was that age any weight increase in him put the for off an incurred screams of pain and 2 hourly feeds with 30 mins of sleep in between.

Staying on top of the dose helped us and by 5 months he was able to cope a lot better.

Sending strength, I ended up driving to the doctors in a t shirt, baby just bundled up in a blanket in the snow in unstoppable tears one day.

As PP said I would be suspicious oversupply is a big issue-have a look at the kellymom link already posted, really helped me in a similar situation.
Also my DS had two teeth at 14 weeks... just a possibility!
Finally I would get help from a paeds Chiro or osteo.

Hang in there, it will get better, time is a great thing with babies if nothing else helps!

Forgot to say "ours was Sidentified reflux / GERD .
Gaviscon helped but constipated him . X

As soon as he slept on his tummy it helped massively x x

Hi OP

Did the
-sleep cues, darkness, white noise, swaddle in your original list include the last vital ingredient - your own absence from the room?

Read "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" - it is not controlled crying. You do not leave you baby to cry it out. You do learn to work out how to withdraw your stimulating, interesting and worth-staying-awake-for presence, whilst still offering comfort when actually needed. Some cries mean "I am sad and I need a comforting cuddle", others mean "I am uncomfortable and need feeding/changing/winding" but there is a cry that means "for heaven's sake leave me alone for a couple of minutes I am too tired for this", and there's a cry that means "I just need to explain to you how tired I am" which is not a cry of needing anything. Learning to understand and respond appropriately to the different cries did miracles for our non-sleeping baby after months of awful sleep deprivation.

Please don't be annoyed by this suggestion, I'm only posting because your situation sounds awful and you've tried so much already. Does he nap a lot in the day? My baby slept through 8-12hrs reliably from a few weeks old (and at a year old now she still does), but she's never napped in the day. At all, really. Maybe one ten minute or half an hour nap in the buggy. We never put her down in the day to nap intentionally. I know people say new babies sleep so so much, but could it be possible that he sleeps too much on and off in the day, so he can't get used to having a solid chunk at night?

My daughter was exclusively breastfed so I don't think it's lack of formula like some people suggest. It sounds like you're doing a great job with the breastfeeding and a great job overall.

Have you considered paying for a night nurse for even just one night so you can get some sleep yourself?

Is he sleeping in a different place at night from day? Wondering about reflux with the screaming when movement stops thing too.

I know you said on reflux meds but they can be weight dependent and need increased as baby grows. Do you mean like gavescon? If so maybe ranitidine from gp worth a shot. So signs might be sleeps when up in your arms with in a few mins of being put down will wake up screaming as taste will come into mouth and burn. (Silent reflux so no vom)

My DGS had mups it was a pain as they had to be dissolved in water and then syringed or tipped on to his tongue, and little beads stuck everywhere, mind you after a while he used to lap it up as if he knew it was helping.

When I say 2 weeks to kick in I meant for him to start sleeping at night, it made that much difference. The change over from ranitidine didn't set him back to square one. DD was also told that as well as treating the reflux, omeprazole heals the damage the acid does.

Waking up as if his breath has been taken away could it be pain? Yes he sometimes had a hoarse voice and was often snuffly and occasionally wheezy which was not due to allergy. He was also weaned early on the advice of the consultant.

Agree that the oversupply sounds like it could be causing the digestive issues. Definitely seek out some expert help on that one.

You're bloody amazing, you know. You may not feel it right now, but being this functional in the face of this little sleep and this much stress is massive testament to you - however much of a jelly you may feel, you really are amazing.

If you're boobs are the problem I.e overactive let down try expressing and feeding with bottles with reflux helping teets.

Forgot to say...sending much gentle hugs and cups of tea. Sleep deprivation is truly awful.

My dd was similar, and it was silent reflux. Silent reflux babies often hate feeding because the acid they bring up is so painful.

I know you say you don't want to try Gaviscon but with my dd the only thing that worked was a combination of Gaviscon and ranitidine. Even then it was very hit and miss and the ranitidine dose had to be carefully monitored and changed as she grew. (Then the doctor decided she didn't need Gaviscon and it all descended into a nightmare again). The sudden losing of breath could very well be acid coming up and momentarily blocking his airways.

I would try the Gaviscon. The constipation isn't great but for my dd the benefits outweighed that. We mixed up a dose in warm water and syringed it down before a feed. The first dose was like a miracle and she slept for 5 hours! I did read that silent reflux pain builds up over the months though so you might not get such instant results until his acid burn has healed (if it is that).

It's such a tough time. If it's any consolation she's nearly a teen now and sleeps for England so you will eventually get to look back at this time as a distant memory. But living through it is so tough

Is there anything you have done to address your fast let-down?
There are a few things that can help

kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/supply-worries/fast-letdown/

Not helpful right now, but video what baby is doing with the screaming/gasping/waking and show the doctor. They might take you more seriously and have more suggestions.
Sounds like reflux is still a problem. Ranitidine worked for us with gaviscon, omeorazole was horrific (as your experience). I’m sure there’s something else they can try but name escapes me.
Have you tried Facebook support groups like CMPA breastfeeding/CMPA reflux they might have more ideas.

You are doing an amazing job, it's difficult to think of much you haven't tried.

DD was awful with reflux until we sorted out allergies at 4 months (dairy and soya through me, we found more on weaning). She would only sleep next to me on my arm until then, day time naps were sling only even the car seat made her scream (GP refused ranitidine). Even after me giving up dairy and soya, we only got her to lie by herself (in her co sleeping cot) by moving her to sleeping on her tummy at 5 months (look into cot death risks before doing this).

Could there be other allergens there? Babies can be allergic to anything, not necessarily just the top ones? I'm on a Facebook group for breastfeeding with CMPA and other food allergies, they might be able to give some advice on whether you are accidentally still have something or if there is anything else it's worth trying.

If you are dealing with allergens formula is unlikely to help I'd have thought - you'd need the amino acid stuff and it tastes so disgusting I can't imagine your DC will drink it if they are used to nice tasting EBF milk.

You have my sympathies OP. I had a very tricky non sleeping baby and it was very hard going. I never quite got to the bottom of it but things improved gradually over time.

Just a couple of ideas that worked for us that I haven't noticed in your OP...

• Will he sleep on you? There are ways to do it safely (I followed the advice in Sweet Sleep, a great book from La leche league). As you are SO tired I'd advise someone watching over you both if you did decide this route).
• how does he fare in a sling? Could you carry him almost to sleep, lay him down gently and then feed for a shorter time to sleep where he will fall to sleep. Or you cuddle him almost to sleep on a rocking chair and then feed him to sleep on a bed?
• magic baby hold - you can look for this on YouTube. At a similar age I had to march up and down with him in this position for hours in the evening to keep him calm. Shattering at the time. I did shifts with my dh. As he got bigger I used a baby Bjorn bouncer so he was pretty upright and experiencing the motion he craved but I could at least sit down and move it with my foot.

There is a 'fussy baby book' by William Sears that saved my sanity a little. A few tips but the main thing for me was that it wasn't my fault and I wasn't doing things wrong, some babies are just fussy and have needs not easily soothed. The messages i was getting from all and sundry at the time was that I was doing it wrong and if I just left my baby to scream in a cot or pram then all his issues would magically disappear. I found this very difficult and largely avoided seeing people with this view.

I hope you see improvements soon

CarpetGate the baby is 13 wks FFS.

OP. I also remember my over supply causing issues like this in two of my children. One also had horrendous reflux and was very much like you described.

I didn't bother with routines. They just stressed me. Dad took control when boobs weren't needed so I could crack on with jobs, rest and sleep knowing I'd be up in night.

A sling helped but they didn't like it at first.

Gaviscon can cause constipation how is that end?

Ranitidine ; needs dosage checking as weight increases.