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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how many genuine sociopaths/psychopaths you've actually met?

364 replies

WillGymForPizza · 23/03/2019 16:06

I strongly suspect that I'm working with someone who is possibly a sociopath. Obviously I'm not a psychiatrist so can't properly diagnose, but Ive met some dodgy and unlikable people in my time and this person takes it to a whole level. I genuinely believe her to be evil. She doesn't appear to have a moral compass and seems to take great pleasure in publicly humiliating her staff. They are all utterly terrified of her.

Most disturbingly of all I work in a Primary School and this person is this person is the headteacher....

How common is this kind of thing? Ive never come across anyone like this before.

OP posts:
ZippyBungleandGeorge · 23/03/2019 16:11

Lots but it's my job

Whatdoyouknowwhenyouknownowt · 23/03/2019 16:12

I don't know what the book was called as it was one I read on holiday but it said it was very common and training to be less so, just trained the person up to be more devious.

Kevin Dutton has talked about this a fair bit on tv recently.

BetsyBigNose · 23/03/2019 16:12

Yep, I know one. He's a Vicar.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 23/03/2019 16:13

Also what you describe isn't necessarily indicative of psychopathy or sociopathy

PaquitaVariation · 23/03/2019 16:13

More than I’d like in my job.

Processedpea · 23/03/2019 16:16

One a genuinely unlikable man who could turn on the charm when needed a thoroughly unpleasant individual

ElizabethMainwaring · 23/03/2019 16:17

I'm sure that I know her op. Are you in the Midlands?

Babdoc · 23/03/2019 16:18

Ooh, loads. I’m a retired anaesthetist so worked with hundreds of surgeons over the years...! Grin

Processedpea · 23/03/2019 16:18

When I read up on how to cope with a sociopath it said to leave the job and I did

steff13 · 23/03/2019 16:18

It's believed that 1% of people are psychopaths. That's 1 out of 100 people, so I'd assume we've all probably met a couple.

WillGymForPizza · 23/03/2019 16:19

I don't know Zippy. She makes me feel so uneasy. Ive met a few difficult headteachers in my time but this is something else, she almost revels in breaking people. Ive heard of broken moral compasses, but she doesn't appear to have a moral compass full stop.

I can't wait to leave!

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Whatdoyouknowwhenyouknownowt · 23/03/2019 16:20

I thought Kevin Sutton had a test. It's on the website.

Think certain professions have more than others.

BuffaloCauliflower · 23/03/2019 16:21

The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson is a good read, there’s a lot more psychopaths walking around than people would believe, many in positions of power.

I’ve met one I can be sure of, the then husband of a friend of my mum, who I spent a lot of time with as a child. No doubt in my mind that he’s a psychopath.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 23/03/2019 16:22

Quite a few

As part of my job

Most seem quite normal much of the time. When one was agitated he wouldn’t necessarily present that he was but you knew and he was terrifying

WillGymForPizza · 23/03/2019 16:23

No, not in the Midlands Elizabeth. I'm quite disturbed to think that there are other headteachers like her out there! Was hoping she was a one off.

I would love to tell her what I think of her and how disgusting I think her behaviour is, but I genuinely believe she'd ruin my life and make me unemployable in education.I know for a fact that she's ruined others.

OP posts:
nocoolnamesleft · 23/03/2019 16:23

Quite a lot. We mostly just call them surgeons. Grin

YourEggnogIsBetterThanMine · 23/03/2019 16:24

I taught one a few years ago. She was 14 then. I fully expect to see her on the news one day.

TeaForTheWin · 23/03/2019 16:25

I find narcissists (Narcissistic personality disorder) a lot more common, though I suspect npd and sociopathy can be easily mistaken for one another. I've met one person I would definitely consider a sociopath and I only set him apart from the narcissists as he was physically violent from the offset of meeting him (not to me). And like...60-80 people I would consider 'something along those lines' (I would say narcissists but 'toxic' might be more appropriate). I think cluster b personality disorders are so so under-recorded.

There's so much passive aggression and workplace bullying and fake people generally nastiness about that I would attribute largely to these sorts. 'Gaslighting' became a buzz word in recent years and yet there seems to be general failure to mention, even it articles about this nasty behaviour, that 'normal' people aren't usually gaslighters - people with personality disorders (specifically those associated with lack of empathy) are.

flumpybear · 23/03/2019 16:26

Oh yes, somebody who works for a. Organisation we work alongside, she takes pleasure in damaging people, does nasty things to those who dare cross her, spent over a million pounds of public money on her husbands business which went through tendering and didn't win, but suddenly his company seems to be supplying multiple jobs even though not tendered - and rips off the company. She's had people off with stress for years, damaged for life, has told staff 'I own you' ... she's literally the biggest c**t ever and those above her are too crap to manage her or get rid of her. If she read this post she'd feel joy - literally is the biggest joke though of her and our organisation - almost everyone calls her the 'c' word

SuperHeroMum · 23/03/2019 16:31

@ElizabethMainwaring I know one based in the West Mids....

CuriousaboutSamphire · 23/03/2019 16:35

One as a late teen. He was lovely but his sociopathic traits meant he just couldn't read social situations... he made a lot of people feel very uncomfortable and girlfriends tended to run and hide at the end of their usually short relationship.

Another I worked with, had to mentor through his nqt. Just the thought if him still makes my skin crawl. He played people very well... used people for any perceived benefit and was ruthless in ignoring and belittling anyone who couldn't further his career. Including me once he qualified.

I taught some psychology and another colleague was a clinical psychologist... we were certain of this person's psychopathic traits.

He now holds a managerial position in a fairly posh private school. His staff turnover is enormous and his boss thinks that shows his dedication to excellence!!

There are more sociopaths around us than we think. Many high flying execs have psychopathic tendencies. Which is scary food for thought.

wheretheydwell · 23/03/2019 16:38

Junior School headteacher!

Pity the children. That cannot be a nurturing school!

She should get a new job.

NunoGoncalves · 23/03/2019 16:39

Maybe never? I've no idea. I'm not a psychologist. I wouldn't know even if I had met one.

pootyisabadcat · 23/03/2019 16:39

Quite a few in work (legal field).

Firstbornunicorn · 23/03/2019 16:40

I have met one person who was rumoured to have had a diagnosis of sociopathy. I don't know if this was true, but this person had an extremely grandiose sense of self, and told whopping lies about himself that he appeared to believe, even when it was pointed out how they simply could not be true. He also once said that he didn't feel sad that his grandmother had passed away, because he has no connection to dead people. He had made clients cry in his job and showed not one hint of remorse. He was eventually sacked for this and other, similar incidents.

He didn't really fit the TV version of a sociopath, as he didn't come across as particularly charming or intelligent. In fact, he had an awful temper which made it incredibly difficult to be around him.

So I don't know if I've met an actual sociopath, but I've definitely met at least one person who seemed to tick a lot of the boxes.