To ask how many genuine sociopaths/psychopaths you've actually met?

[WillGymForPizza]

I strongly suspect that I'm working with someone who is possibly a sociopath. Obviously I'm not a psychiatrist so can't properly diagnose, but Ive met some dodgy and unlikable people in my time and this person takes it to a whole level. I genuinely believe her to be evil. She doesn't appear to have a moral compass and seems to take great pleasure in publicly humiliating her staff. They are all utterly terrified of her.

Most disturbingly of all I work in a Primary School and this person is this person is the headteacher....

How common is this kind of thing? Ive never come across anyone like this before.

*Thing is with many true psychopaths it's very hard to tell. They can come across as the nicest of people.

He enjoys hurting or humiliating anyone or anything he deems beneath him, which is pretty much everyone and everything. He terrifies me. Always has done.*

Both of these accurately describe my sister. She gets a visible, physical rush from knowing she has hurt me, and presumably others in situations I don't see.

I'm convinced that one of the reasons she hates me so much is because she knows I can SEE the real her whereas she utterly fools a lot of people, she's very plausible.

There is no soul there, everyone is not a person but a tool, of that makes sense? In what way can this person be used or manipulated to either make me look good or them look bad. I believe she sees herself as a master puppeteer, but she isn't one, as at least I and potentially others can see her agenda. She is literally never without an agenda. She is also remorseless. It's only lately that I've become certain that I can't be the only person to suffer from her behaviour, I'd love to find others and start a support group!

There is no soul there, everyone is not a person but a tool, of that makes sense? In what way can this person be used or manipulated to either make me look good or them look bad. I believe she sees herself as a master puppeteer, but she isn't one, as at least I and potentially others can see her agenda. She is literally never without an agenda. She is also remorseless.

Perfect description of how I feel about the psychopaths I’ve known. I’m so sorry that your sister has caused you so much pain. I hope that you get some peace.

I've no idea if I've ever met someone who genuinely is a psychopath. But I do know that in some workplaces (I've definitely worked in at least one) the type of behaviour where you use everyone else as if they are players in your game, where you terrify and belittle and break those who are more junior to you etc is exactly the sort of behaviour that is celebrated and rewarded. But they call it being dynamic and showing leadership.

Several, but I used to work in teacher misconduct and a fair few of our cases could fall in that category. I also represented a member (I'm a union rep) with sociopathic traits.

I know a few people who display sign of sociopathy and one who I strongly suspect was a psychopath but I couldn’t really say for sure. And then you have people who have strong tendencies for manipulation/unusually good self control but clearly aren’t psychopaths.

It sounds exactly like my old work situation OP. I'm sure our head teacher was. I'm not a psychiatrist but she had the level of empathy of a dried turd.

My SIL is definitely a sociopath.

She is completely psychotic and I’m amazed she’s not locked up with some of the shit she’s pulled.

I would love to say my MIL is one too but no she’s just a selfish fucker

To be fair the 'no soul' comment pretty much describes narcissists too. They step on other people because they see the whole world as a game of winners and losers and they CAN'T be the losers so they have to make sure you are (in their opinion). They'll steal your hobbies and turn them into a competition, they'll fling themselves at the person they know you like, they bully, manipulate and belittle everyone they see as an easy target. Empty people with dark shrivelled little hearts.

My brother, sadly. We’re NC.

Please will someone tell me how to spot one?

I’d put money on DS2s headteacher being a sociopath. She’s just not normal! It’s robotic, she’s nasty, she has no concept of the fact that she deals with CHILDREN and she addresses adults like Theresa May... come to think of it I’d add her too but I’ve never actually met her obv

@ShadyLady53

Thank you. I've long since got past the point of wanting any relationship with her, but she must be tolerated in certain circumstances as I'm unwilling to sacrifice family events to avoid her. She has isolated me from some family in certain ways already and I believe my refusing contact at all with her would be a massive victory to her, and a way to paint herself as an innocent victim to extended relatives who are without the full picture.

I'm over the relationship angle and don't really see her as "my sister" anymore just "one of the other adult children my parents have"

My real problem is that I have so much relentless unresolved anger over all the various horrific stunts she's pulled over the years, because a reaction is the goal, I have grey rocked her for years, but it doesn't mean I don't feel the hurt/the anger but there's no outlet for it

I contemplated being frank with my mother about my belief she has a pathological disorder but I doubt very much she'd hear it, the family narrative around my sister is that "she always does everything right" but that is merely the impression she gives of herself and not the reality.

Separately, there almost seems to be a code of silence around her horrendous treatment of me, like it's there and people know it, but it's impolitic to acknowledge it, and it's a subject best avoided let's just protect the status quo. As I say I have next to no idea what she's like outside family situations. On about two occasions though, when we've had an exchange where I've calmly indicated I know what she's like, the mask has dropped and she's looked at me with this malevolent smirk like "I know what I am, I know you know damn well what I am, but no one else does so jokes on you"

It's a tough frustration to live with for sure even with minimised contact. I've had lots of therapy.

One sociopath but never knowingly met a psychopath

I'm pretty sure I work with one.
manipulative, charming to those she needs to be , gaslights.
and nobody cares

I reckon I'm married to one.

There is no such thing as a “genuine psychopath“, it’s not a diagnosis. I’ve meet one person diagnosed as a sociopath (now recatagorised as Antisocial Personality Disorder)

My sil

When I was police staff I worked for this utterly vile female inspector. The force chaplain told me that she was completely convinced that this woman was a psychopath, having dealt with her in several situations over the years. I took great delight in dobbing her into the Assistant Chief Constable over her bullying of a colleague. She never knew who had caused her mask of perfection to be ripped off as the ACC laid into her after investigation.

This thread is so typical of armchair diagnosis.

I find narcissists (Narcissistic personality disorder) a lot more common - actually its extremely rare, usually found in young men, despite everyone describing their middle aged/elderly MIL as a classic case of NPD

About one percent of people are believed to be affected at some point in their life. It appears to occur more often in males than females and affects young people more than older people. The personality was first described in 1925 by Robert Waelder, and the term NPD came into use in 1968.

My ex did the test, scored really high. He found that really amusing and pleasing. Started sending me links to 'how to tell if you are dating a psychopath'.

But actually 1% is high, isn't it? And that one person will have had an impact on several people throughout their life. So yes, it's an armchair diagnosis in that people are guessing to some extent that that would be the diagnosis, but the damage done and fear caused is very real.

I disagree with the 1% statistic on npd and so do many people who specialise in that area. Plenty are coming forth and putting it at closer to 1 in 10 (most recently I saw Ramani Durvasula on youtube talking along similar stats) and having some experience in the area myself, I am inclined to agree. It is underdiagnosed because these sort of people rarely think anything is wrong with them in the first place and so, do not come into contact with professionals.

MySisterTotallyIs

*Both of these accurately describe my sister. She gets a visible, physical rush from knowing she has hurt me, and presumably others in situations I don't see.

I'm convinced that one of the reasons she hates me so much is because she knows I can SEE the real her whereas she utterly fools a lot of people, she's very plausible.

There is no soul there, everyone is not a person but a tool, of that makes sense? In what way can this person be used or manipulated to either make me look good or them look bad. I believe she sees herself as a master puppeteer, but she isn't one, as at least I and potentially others can see her agenda. She is literally never without an agenda. She is also remorseless. It's only lately that I've become certain that I can't be the only person to suffer from her behaviour, I'd love to find others and start a support group!*

This sends shivers down my spine

Also worth noting that dr google also puts sociopathy at 4%, borderline at 4% and psychopathy at 1% so even if the narc stats are accurate (and the rest of them) that would mean that one in ten people have a cluster b personality disorder (lack empathy). Scary stuff.

Is she Miss Trunchball