AIBU to DD15 when she’s out with friends

[Clown77]

My DD15 is going out with a friend tomorrow I’m dropping off at her friends house then they are getting the train (15min walk from her friends house) then going 1 stop down to a casual restaurant to eat then back to her house again.

I told my DD15 to message me when she arrives at restaurant and when she gets back to her friends house but she said she’s not a baby I do know her friends mum will most likely message her (not sure though) so AIBU to expect DD15 to message me and if she doesn’t AIBU to message her

It's a 20 second text. We've always done it. It's really no big deal. It puts her mind at rest and it takes seconds.

Usually - I do exactly the same.

But then I have done since I was a teen and never felt the need to rebel either

“
SO if you live in some village somewhere in the arse end of nowhere, and you end up having to walk home and there are no pavements or street lights, aren't you more at risk of harm than being in London, with all it's knife crime?“

This. We live very rurally and the station is 2 miles away along a very windey country road that people use as a rat run and drive like maniacs. My children walk or bike in day time, but I always pick them up after dark- because they are in much more danger on that walk home than in any of the dodgy towns they might have been out in.

Okay, if you are fine with it. Personally I would be talking to my mum about how she can better manage her anxiety. But I also travel about a lot. I can see if you travel about once a year you might see it as no big deal.

Does it make her worry less, Usuallyinthemiddle?

Or does it condition her to expect the reassurance, so she will continue to worry until you supply the worry management?

I live on a different continent from my mother, moved before the age of the internet, and mum still hasn't got a computer or learned to text on her phone. We rely on phone communication and we have to take a six hour time difference into account. We have an understanding that no news is good news.