Hairdresser = old bully.

[FirstNameSurname]

I went to a new hairdressers today. Booked with a senior stylist "Sarah". When I arrive I was greeted and sat in a chair, receptionist explains the stylist is running late and points over at her. She is my old school/teen bully. Her bullying was severe and prolonged, ended with me hating secondary school and then leaving college early and isolating myself. I am now in my 30's but it still brings back a sick/nervous feeling. Seeing Sarah again completely shook me. She looked over and smiled at me and went back to doing the other person's hair. I gave my full, unusual name at booking and felt she was expecting me.

I got up and returned to reception, asking for the manager. I explained to the manager that I was a new client and the back story. I told her I wasnt comfortable with having my hair cut by Sarah and asked for a different person or to cancel. I was told that no other stylists were available. Options offered were pay a £10 cancellation/non attendance fee or have Sarah and manager would keep an eye on us. I again declined and told them I wouldn't pay to cancellation fee. They then offered a junior stylist but told me I would still need to pay the senior stylist fee as that's what I had booked but now declined.

I left saying I would take the cancellation fee issue up with the owner if she calls me, when I left they were clearly unhappy.

I've checked the website and social media, there are no pictures of Sarah so I couldn't have known it was her before arriving. If I knew I would have cancelled.

If/when owner calls do I complain about how its being handled and refuse to pay, pay up and complain or just block and ignore? I'm swaying towards paying and complaining but I hate the idea of paying my bully any money.

Don't pay the £10, that is also in a way bullying, you don't own the salon anything

How on earth is it bullying? And it isn't the salon owner's fault that the OP and the stylist have history.

I feel your pain and understand where you are coming from. However, I think most people's reaction would probably be a little like yours with all that negative energy from the past stressing through the body upon seeing the bully's face. However, it is true to say that it really isn't the business's fault and perhaps in hindsight, the £10 should have been paid because nothing to do with the business and they have their policy in place for a valid reason. Also, that bully was 15 years old. She most likely is a complete different person now to back then, most likely the reason why she smiled, I doubt there was negative thoughts going through her mind. She probably remembered what she did. However, to think to ruin her life as an adult is cruel and would make you a bit of a bully also. She was a child back then and can't be responsible for her stupid behaviour forever. After all, she is holding down a not very well paid job but responsible nonetheless. Not to say the least, bullies usually have some bad unsupportive stuff going on at home and not generally happy children. Not condoning what she did to you back then. What if she felt deeply bad upon seeing you and all that she did came flooding back (at least she has a conscience rather than not care hopefully). We are all assuming she's the same monster back then, doubt it. I think perhaps you should have been brave to confront her whilst she was doing your hair (or someone else do your hair and has a chat at the end) because after all you are both now grown adults and I bet you she would not be that person back then!!!

Oh ffs, it's a tenner. The salon isn't going to go bust. I'd go somewhere different next time op while she is working there.
I hope she was embarrassed.

They are not going to chase £10!

Tell them if they want the tenner they will have to take you to the small claims court, and you will tip off the local paper to cover the case, where you will be explaining in clear terms why you didn’t stay. What are they going To do?

WiseNiceWoman

Are you for real? Should they have had tea and cake and had a bit of a google of how the bully would trip her up? Or maybe laugh at those playful afternoons whilst being pinned down and having grass rammed down her throat? Or what about that fun team effort when Bully asked all her mates to hold her up by the throat and shout insults? That was a good afternoon! Let’s not forget the endless nights crying or school refusal!! Oh and that little prank on Insta where they set up a ‘We hate X’ page and asked everyone to add their insults! What fun that was!!! How we look back and laugh!!

Maybe during afternoon tea OP can empathize about Bullies poor upbringing? Maybe give her a tissue or two?

YOU HAVE NO F’IN IDEA DO YOU?

I’d explain situation, say you understand the standard process but you unlike other cancellations this was no fault of anyone’s.
They preform a service and unfortunately the lack of understanding on this ruined your experience.

If I was owner I’d understand.

It is not worth the admin for them to take you to a small claims court. I reckon that this is the last you’ll ever hear of it. Hope you find another salon in your area that suits you better.

I have not read every post but this salon sound like they price gouge. Cancellation fee, still having to pay for a senior stylist when a junior stylist is doing your hair. Is this salon in some way special? I'd find somewhere else. Their pricing sounds ridiculous. Note I don't go to fancy salons so if this is usual fancy salon stuff, then that's just my misunderstanding.

You did the right thing. Your appointment should be pleasurable. What would you two talk about anyways? That time back at school? No. Best you left.

Another thing: imagine finding something wrong with your cut/style and assuming it was intentional. Again, good thing you left. It saved you stress.

Don't pay them the cancellation fee.

I applaud you OP. I was bullied horrifically at university by a student who was a volunteer on the student welfare team, and his girlfriend. It was 3 years of sustained, almost daily verbal abuse. Because he was on the welfare team nobody believed me. A few years later my first son was born extremely sick and struggled to survive. We had hundreds of good wishes sent our way....the only two people to say anything down right nasty was them (by now married), which we heard via a mutual friend. As far as I'm concerned they, and especially he, can fuck off to the far side of Nether Fuckington. I have no interest in forgiving them.

Yes people can change....but I certainly wouldn't want my former bully doing something as personal as cutting my hair!

Cancellation fee’s a load of bollocks. How on earth do they track down people that just never turn up?
And did you sign some kind of contract when you booked the app agreeing to pay £10 if you cancelled?
Ignore and move on, and well done for being brave enough.

I would have walked out without saying anything so well done for tackling it!

Well done op that's brilliant! Good to hear the nasty bully's past came back to haunt her in 2019 ha!

Exactly NC4Now.
There's no way they an inforce that crap. Well done lovely, for standing up for yourself. Don't give it another thought and if they ring, tell them to do one. I'm sure that many bullies have had less than great upbringings, but so do many people who manage not to torture someone for fun as a consequence.

Don’t give it another second of your time. The salon will not ring you back and they cannot enforce a cancellation fee. You were mighty honest, I would have said sorry left my purse in the car and not gone back!

Well done OP!

And do not pay a penny! The worst they can do is ban you

Well done for standing your ground and explaining why you couldn't stay. You did the right thing for you, in the circumstances When you initially booked the appointment, was a cancellation fee mentioned at any point? If not then they can't enforce the fee and unless you gave more details other than your name and phone number, they wouldn't be able to charge you a fee if you simply didn't turn up for an appointment! Which again would also need to be mentioned at the time of booking!

Just tell them no way will you pay it, and if they refuse to waive the fee you will review them on their Facebook page and explain exactly why you didn't keep the appointment. You will also be telling your friends and family to steer clear.

Good for you op for standing up for yourself. For those that say she was a child etc, I teach teenagers and believe me, they know exactly what they are doing and the consequences of their actions. I’m often shocked at the level of bullying I’ve encountered over the years and the premeditated nature in some cases. I’m glad karma came around. Perhaps one day she’ll tell this story to her own children if she has any, and guide them to make better choices than her.

Secondly I go to a very upmarket salon (it’s my one treat) and have had a junior stylist once when my usual lady was off sick, I ddI not pay my usual price, I paid the junior price. You’re paying for service and like for like should be offered or a price reduction. There’s no way they will chase you, they failed to match your service requirements, therefore breaking any ‘contract’ of service themselves.

Spend it on a nice bottle of wine instead and raise a glass to karma.

Well done for standing your ground. You were reasonable and asked for another stylist. It's not your fault no one else was available. I wouldn't have paid it

Not just someone she loathes but a bully that has given her ptsd. She should not pay the fee! I think the salon should have been sensitive and made Sarah pay the £10 and she will hopefully find out that bullying doesn't pay. Karma catches up with you. Rx

I had to face one of my bullies years ago but it was him who needed my help.

He'd been in a minor car accident (his friend took the corner too fast) but the year before on the same corner at night he'd been a passenger in the car when it hit a drunk pedestrian - nasty fatality.

He was really shaken when my father went to recover the car, so Dad called his family and said he'd take him home and wait there for them to arrive. I'd been on nights as a student nurse, so dad woke me and asked me to sit with him.

He was white and shaky before he saw me, but when he recognised me he looked sick - I felt sick but put on the HCP mode and made tea etc... This was a guy who a decade before used to bully me with 3 mates both ways on the school bus - hitting, strangling with my collar, verbal.

Luckily the school dealt with them very robustly and I realised that it was by keeping quiet that they'd got away with it for so long. Since then I've either walked away from bullies, or called them out on their behaviour quite quickly. OP You might have left it a bit later - but you just called her out. If she's changed (and of course people can) then nothing will happen to her, but if she's still a bit of a bully the manager is more likely to listen to co-workers complaints.

If they call, remind them that they were running late and you were not obliged to wait. You might have under other circumstances, but they failed your contracted time.

Hear hear!

Just tell them no way will you pay it, and if they refuse to waive the fee you will review them on their Facebook page and explain exactly why you didn't keep the appointment.

Serously? You think the answer is to make threats like a bully?

I've just worked out why I can't stand anything tight around my neck... it's a real problem scuba diving in a dry-suit with a seal (full blown panic attack). I have to loosen off scarves and can only wear loose necklaces no chokers