Sexual assault in school

[WeakAsIAm]

So my 15 DD has been sexually assaulted by another pupil during a lesson at school.
The incident has been reported to the school and the boy has been removed from shared lessons.

I've met with the school today; the boy will return to normal lessons in 2 weeks, my DD has been offered mediation with the boy before he returns to discuss their issues.

During the meeting I was so upset for my DD that I just wanted to get her out of there and make sure she was safe.

Now the anger has set in, AIBU to think the school should be doing more about this and not passing it off as a slight misdemeanour?

I really want an example setting of this boy, I feel he should be permanently excluded, be reported to the police and let this be an example to all other pupils this behaviour is not acceptable.

Am I over reacting, I don't feel I am but I'm so upset about it maybe I'm not thinking straight?

If I am reasonable how can I get the school to take this seriously?

Mediation?! Fucking mediation? I’m horrified.

I agree with the others, if the school dont contact the police then do it yourself

I've not read the full thread, so I'm sorry if I'm repeating something that's been said previously.

School's responsibility to act in cases of peer on peer abuse have changed significantly, partly in response to the recognition that school's have not acted appropriately in the past (either because the then policies meant they they couldn't or they just didn't want to) and partly in recognition that this is a growing concern in schools.

New guidance came into force in September 2018 and can be found here

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/719902/Sexual_violence_and_sexual_harassment_between_children_in_schools_and_colleges.pdf

The school might not have amended their practice in line with this new information. It might surprise you to know that even the Head of Ofsted isn't fully aware of this guidance

www.tes.com/news/exclusive-shock-ofsted-chiefs-lack-knowledge-peer-abuse-guidance

Mediation? What common ground would they be trying to reach FFS?

Sexual assault is a crime. No middle ground. Mediation is totally inappropriate and I also think you should report this to the police

I am disgusted by these schools' responses and the minimising.

I'm a secondary teacher and one of my pupils sexually assaulted a girl he was friendly with. He got a fixed term exclusion and my school immediately referred the incident to the police.

to everyone who has experienced this.

I am shocked the school have not contacted the police as this is a safeguarding issue, especially if other girls have been attacked as well.

They are trying to handle this below board. Unacceptable.

This is teaching the boy a great lesson, touch lots of girls and your get away with a slap on the hand. Terrible.

OP I hope your DD is doing ok today. If my son did this I would report him myself. Disgraceful. The school have let your dd down. You have shown her that what she has been through is Not acceptable. I hope the police take this seriously

If your dd would like to talk it through with someone, she can call childline, the nspcc, Mind, the Samaritans are good listeners too. It may be worth visiting your GP as they should have an idea of what mental health services are available in your area.

Plus, what everyone else said about police, Safeguarding, etc.

So just been updated by the head; they have reported the incident to social care.

Whether pushed or jumped I'm not sure, but hopefully this will at the least put this boy on someone's radar.

We haven't discussed the plans for school to return him to lessons yet. Plan to let her have a nice weekend before we start that battle.

Thank you for all your kind and helpful responses.

It makes such a difference to feel you are not doing it alone.

I'm not sure that social care, whatever that might be (not being sarcastic - I really don't know) is enough. I think that the police should be involved in this. Your DD doesn't have to press charges, but reporting it gives her the choice of taking it further if she decides to. In addition, the police will surely have someone who will offer her support from a position of greater awareness both of the crime and of victim's reactions to it.

It's up to you and your DD, obviously, but keeping your options open as long as possible is usually a good idea.

What on earth is ‘Social Care’?

I’m so sorry for your DD’s trauma but I’d have gone straight to the police. I’m shocked you haven’t.

Social care is just the modern word for social services in many areas. It will mean that a single or joint (depending if dd agrees to talk to the police) child protection investigation will take place.

Not entirely sure what Social Care is, but my concern would be whether they have enough in the way of resources to deal with this quickly. If school have their way then in two weeks your daughter will be in class with this boy again.

I don't think school have been anywhere close to dealing with this i a robust and efficient manner and I would go to the Police myself.

Social Care = social services

Don't wait for the school to do something - report it to the police yourself now! Sympathy for you both, but please make a definite stand for your DD.

Not to be negative, but I had similar, ds assaulted at school age 5. School slow to act, I called 'social care', boy was investigated, nothing happened, was told school didn't have funding to watch him all day (even though this wasn't the first incident) and his mother moved him to a different school out of embarrassment (her partner threatened the headteacher also) and her son has gone on to do the same to other children at the new school (to the extent that one parent has moved their child). Nothing has been done about him.

It depends on the nature of the sexual assault. We have had a student internally suspended for sexual assault because he called a girl a sl*g.
I agree with a suspension, he needs to learn, but calling it sexual assault is a bit much imo, in this instance. I would expect a sexual assault that involved any kind of sexual touching to be reported to the police, if the school refuse to do this, I would do it as a parent.

How is your daugter?

Have you thought anymore about reporting it to the Police yourself? Social Services / Care is much more about the boys welfare than anything.

You haven't reported it to the police?

and all social services will do is look at the boys homelife and why he done it poor thing

all about the abuser

Your daughter was sexually assaulted and you didn’t report it to the police? Why?

Let’s hope some poor other girl doesn’t get assaulted by him and finds it hard for any one to believe her..

Why are you not reporting it to the police OP? If this was anywhere else, say a workplace, you can be damn well sure it would be!!

Hi op do you know why they aren’t reporting to the police? Sexual assault is a crime. I would suggest 1 more phone call telling them to report it by lunchtime tomorrow or you will. I think social services is the ‘softest’ option.

You still need to report it to the police, OP.

Just reading this thread, no question here straight to police, what he done is sexual assault, don't sit waiting for the school or sc, phone police tonight and get this vile boy charged, if he gets away with this at 15 he will only progress to more serious assaults.