To ask at what age you think men become invisible to women

[EnlightenmentwasaPassingPhase]

And do you think it's because they get fat? Lose their hair? Start wearing frumpy clothes? Get wrinkly and jowly?

Do they feel insecure about this invisibility? Or heave a sigh of relief that Julie in Accounts is no longer making eyes at them?

How old was Richard Gere in Chicago? I remember girls drooling over him in n my first year in senior school, and I’m in my 50 s.

"Chicago" was made 17 years ago, so if you're in your 50s now you couldn't have been in your "first year in senior school" then. Richard Gere would still have been quite young when you started secondary school.

I’m old enough to think men in their 20s look like babies. Pierce Brosnan is the same age as me and I’ve lusted after him since the first time I saw him. I love that posh boy vibe and, to me, he’s aged so well.

Pierce is an exception but he's far from posh.

I know but he still has that vibe.

I'm not attracted physically to men my age or older 57.
They would have to win me over with their great personalities which one or two have.
Others have just been dullsville inside and out.

do you think it's because they get fat? Lose their hair? Start wearing frumpy clothes?

This can happen at any age. I don't think age has anything to do with this question, unlike the reverse which has been asked on another thread.

I have never understood the attraction of Depp at any age, I think he looks weird and not at all fanciable and pretty much invisible to me. On the other hand, it would be impossible to say the same about Alan Rickman, had he still been alive I reckon he would have still been fanciable at 80.

Mordred
Well I'm 56 and my Manly Good Looks are still such a burden to me! There's No Escape from the Female Gaze!

OMG you poor, poor man. The pressure must be enormous!

Iced

I think that was the pp’s point...Richard Gere was an adult star when she was a young teen. Chicago is only 17 years old but he was still considered leading man material.

I think, to answer the question, men never become indivisible per se. They don’t believe it so it doesn’t happen.

*invisible, even

He's Irish, not posh. The Irishness give him an air of je ne sais quoi....but it's attractive.

I have just been in an arty cafe and some older couples came in (ie in late 60s) and I noticed that although they were well dressed the men looked peaky and drawn. It's the time of year I suppose but the wives had coloured hair, or colourful clothes, or make up and looked v smart. So I would say over 65. (I am 66)

I think that was the pp’s point...Richard Gere was an adult star when she was a young teen. Chicago is only 17 years old but he was still considered leading man material.

Gere was only in his early 50s when "Chicago" was made and I wouldn't really say he was the 'leading man', though it wouldn't be strange if he were.

Anyway, I think discussing whether Richard Gere or Pierce Brosnan are still hot is kind of beside the point. Hollywood is different. Helen Mirren is in her 70s and still hot, but the real world is another story. In the real world, "silver foxes" are a rarity.

even ugly men are seen and heard

Not by me. I've perfected the art of avoiding them in my social life and now work somewhere the clientele and staff are at least 95% female, so now I rarely have to pretend to be polite to the fuckers at work either. It's brilliant.

@IcedPurple

Agree with your post, but Leonardo di Caprio hasn't been hot since "Titanic." I'd say he's a strong point in favour of the argument that men - gasp! - also lose their looks with age.

For men whose looks have held up into their late 40s or 50s, I'd say Keanu Reeves, Damian Lewis, or Mark Strong. Not that many.

I would have to disagree. Leonardo DiCaprio is still hot IMO, and has got better with age - one of the few men who have. He looks better now than he did in Titanic. He looked about 15 then!

As for Damien Lewis and Mark Strong, I don't think they have aged well, but then again, I didn't rate either one of them when they were younger either. Damien Lewis has a weird face IMO. Something not right about his mouth. And Mark Strong does nothing for me at all. Agree about Keanu Reeves though - he is still hot.

JMO. I guess we will have to agree to differ on this one. However, we are definitely on the same page when it comes to agreeing that most mens looks start to fade after 45-50, and they are disillusion if they think they age better than women. I have seen probably 350 men who are over the age of 50 during this past week, and I can count on the fingers of one hand, the amount I would class as physically attractive. Literally just 3 or 4.

In the last paragraph *that should be 'they are disillusioned!' (not 'they are disillusion.')

Men have always been invisible to me.

I think people are really not getting what the ‘invisibility’ of women actually is.

And you can ignore ugly men all you like but that is NOT making them invisible.

Invisibility is about a persons own sense of being dismissed and of no value in the minds of other people. It’s not an issue men have to deal with.

I think we do get it.

This post was intended as a slightly tongue in cheek response to another post where women were expressing regret than random men don't find them sexually attractive anymore. It's showing how ridiculous it is if you reverse genders and imagine men feeling their sense of self-worth crumble because the girls smoking outside the pub don't look them up and down anymore. I'm finding it quite amusing actually.

Do we mean invisible in terms of attractiveness or in terms of social capital?

Because women talk about invisibility in both regards but they are quite distinct. I couldn't give a stuff if I fall off someone's sexual radar but I'm not ready to move from subject to object status because women get relegated to the background. I don't think men have to worry about that.

...Because OLDER women get related to the background...

Do we mean invisible in terms of attractiveness or in terms of social capital?

If you read the op, it's clearly about physical attractiveness, as is the other thread it is spoofing.

I don't think men have to worry about that.

I think there's a bit of a rose tinted view of older men's lives here. Your average bloke in his 40s or 50s, or older, might well also feel that he gets ignored and is treated as a grumpy old man. I really don't think it's just women. It's just society's obsession with youth.

I used to fancy Hugh Grant .

He hasn't aged well.

Depends how much money and power they have.

Well sure, but that's the case for women too.

Say what you like about Theresa May or Christine Lagarde, but nobody would call them 'invisible'!

They'll never be invisible for me. Some of the best looking men I know are older, greyer and perhaps a bit heavier.
What's not to like?

"I think there's a bit of a rose tinted view of older men's lives here. Your average bloke in his 40s or 50s, or older, might well also feel that he gets ignored and is treated as a grumpy old man. I really don't think it's just women."

As somebody who fits that demographic, it has never occurred to me. It's never come up in conversations with my peers either. If it does bother other men, they keep it to themselves.

Presumably these men share the same enthusiasm for women who are older, greyer and perhaps a bit heavier?