To ask at what age you think men become invisible to women

[EnlightenmentwasaPassingPhase]

And do you think it's because they get fat? Lose their hair? Start wearing frumpy clothes? Get wrinkly and jowly?

Do they feel insecure about this invisibility? Or heave a sigh of relief that Julie in Accounts is no longer making eyes at them?

Well, I’m 54 and although dh is not actually invisible yet, he is getting fairly transparent now. When naked, it can be quite difficult to keep track of him

can't you get him tattooed all over?

It's useful to remember that most of what we consider physically attractive traits are signals of fertility, health or good genetic endowment. So it's not surprising that women become "invisible" when they're obviously beyond their childbearing years and men when they become too old to be active, healthy fathers.

Physical attractiveness and reproductive success in humans: Evidence from the late 20th century United States

My DH definitely got more attractive from his mid 40’s, he has peaked late

I think it’s mid 70’s when men tend to show their age physically.

Nature is way crueller to women

I think it is "what draws you in" that explains why men 'last longer' than women ( in this hetro-normative world I am describing..) as we (men) do tend to be much more visual and immediate in our appreciations, so dismiss women once 'looks' are compromised and things go south.

I quite like older strong assertive men with posh voices (perhaps I can smell the money ) but oh my, its getting to the time of year that young road workers just wear their hi-vis and shorts and big boots and show brown muscles and tattoos...................................lucky for me I have a dgs who is obbsessed with diggers and makes me stand with him for ages to watch them

as we (men) do tend to be much more visual and immediate in our appreciations, so dismiss women once 'looks' are compromised and things go south.

If you think women don't also appraise men on their looks, and notice all their saggy and wrinkly bits, then you're delusional.

The only place where men 'last longer' than women is inside their own heads.

I think it’s mid 70’s when men tend to show their age physically.

So men don't start getting moobs, jowls, beer bellies and nasal hairs until their 70s? You seriously believe this?

Nature is way crueller to women

Nature is not crueller to women. Society is.

If you read this board, the general consensus is that there are way more attractive women over 40 than there are men. It's just that we're brought up to scrutinise signs of ageing in women and ignore the same, or worse, signs in men.

Give me a Jason Fox, Ant Middleton, Jake Gyllenhaal, Denzel Washington, Hugh Jackman or Josh Brolin over a Manon their 20s any day!

But these are all good-looking celebrity men (well, some of them).

It's not that hard to find hot Hollywood actors in their 50s, but that wasn't my question. My question was whether you think your average man is more physically attractive in his 50s than in his 20s? Because I can't think of a single example where that is true.

To be honest, these days (at nearly 50) I look at men in their 20s and think they look half baked, especially as my son grows into a man. Not what I'm looking for at all. Not that I am looking!

No, I don't think women don't appraise men by their looks, so not delusional.

I would find the average man in his 50s more attractive than a man in his 20s (luckily for OMF).

But I recognise that I'm an aberration. I just think men in their 20s seem so unfinished.

And no, men are not more visual creatures, that is a myth. At least from our experience.

Never invisible; as long as they have a smile, a twinkle in their eyes and a sense of humour, I notice. I might not be attracted to them but it's not because they're older. As I age, I'm less critical. Less judgmental. I'd like to think men are equally as open-minded but I guess it depends on the person.

Beautifully put, as a man I would second this with the sexes reversed (so, yes, some of use are open minded).

Unattractive people are invisible. Some people are unattractive at 18. Some become unattractive at 40. Pretty much everyone is unattractive by 70. The difference between the sexes is the age at which the majority lose it. Attractive women are generally invisible by 40, whereas attractive men can still be attractive at 70.

I think we can all agree that Bernie Ecclestone, Rupert Murdoch and Mick Jagger are just as attractive now as they were fifty years ago.

My husband looked better in his 40's, I'd never have looked twice at him in his 20's.

I think we're both equally invisible now in our 50's, neither of us can be bothered with how society deems it appropriate to remain visible. We leave the house clean, wearing clean clothes but hell quite happily go out in ascruffy T-shirt without worrying who is looking at him and I'm the same, I binned makeup to nip to the shops a long time ago.

Never, they flock to my door demanding to be made to feel like a woman....a 40 something tubster who wanders around in trackies bottoms and flip flops still reels them in.

@MrPan

as we (men) do tend to be much more visual and immediate in our appreciations, so dismiss women once 'looks' are compromised and things go south.

@IcedPurple

If you think women don't also appraise men on their looks, and notice all their saggy and wrinkly bits, then you're delusional.

The only place where men 'last longer' than women is inside their own heads.

Agree with you icedpurple. These middle aged (and older) men are utterly deluded if they think that they are any more attractive to the opposite sex over the age of 50, than women are. As has been said a number of times, men start to get saggy and jowly and mooby, and start to lose their hair, and their ability to shag diminishes. Do they seriously think most women are attracted to this?

They are under this bizarre and hilarious illusion that because they're a man, all women over the age of 18, think they're a hot, wise, witty silver fox, and sexy, and 'smooth,' and gorgeous.

I know a number of young adult women (18 to 28,) who work in customer service (shop assistant, waitress, barmaid etc,) and every single DAY, they get at least 10 or 15 older men (45+) trying to be funny and witty and thinking they're attractive and sexy and that the young women will be falling at their feet.. It's so hilarious to watch. Yet cringeworthy.

I used to get it myself (from men) when I was that age. They make the young women cringe, and feel nauseous, and every last one of these men thinks they are the first to be 'funny' and 'witty,' with their 'hilarious quips!' Seriously, they are embarrassing.

In reality, they are the 20th middle aged man that day, to say 'oh yes if it's freeeeeeeee' when a female assistant asks 'would you like cashback.' And it's even worse when you see his embarrassed, and long-suffering wife just behind him, cringing because she has to tolerate this every time they go out together.

As has been said on this thread, I see many more attractive women over 45, than men. It's a myth that men age better, and there are definitely several delusional middle aged men on this thread. I pity them actually. They think they're Leonardo DiCaprio, but all women see is Danny DeVito.

Lord above, that pic of Mel Gibson when he was young 🧒

Agree with your post, but Leonardo di Caprio hasn't been hot since "Titanic." I'd say he's a strong point in favour of the argument that men - gasp! - also lose their looks with age.

For men whose looks have held up into their late 40s or 50s, I'd say Keano Reeves, Damian Lewis, or Mark Strong. Not that many.

To be honest, these days (at nearly 50) I look at men in their 20s and think they look half baked, especially as my son grows into a man. Not what I'm looking for at all. Not that I am looking!

^

Totally agree. I love those wrinkles around the eyes. Looking like you've been around the block is appealing.

There's a difference between looking like you've been around the block and looking like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards. Sadly, many older men resemble more the latter.

Men don’t become invisible to women. And it’s not just because the women still see them, it’s because they themselves couldn’t imagine having no perceived value.

've never found any man over the age of 30 attractive. And that includes Johnny Depp.
But isn’t that because Depp went from hot to not in a few months?

How old was Richard Gere in Chicago? I remember girls drooling over him in n my first year in senior school, and I’m in my 50 s.

Not finding someone attractive is not the same as them being invisible.

Sorry, just to add but being invisible is not about ‘losing your looks’. So all this discussion about the attractiveness or not of Richard Gere etc is irrelevant. It’s about people not SEEING you or HEARING you. Even ugly men get seen and heard.