Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH’s friend sleeping in my bed...

321 replies

BuffetLurker · 17/03/2019 23:07

Not sure if I am BU.

Was away for the weekend. DH had some friends over.

One of them (male) slept in our bed, with him. We have other places to sleep.

He thinks I’m being wildly unreasonable, but I’m quite pissed off - I’d like to think our bedroom is a private space, let alone our actual bed...!

He also didn’t tell me, I found out by accident - he wasn’t going to share this information!

AIBU?

OP posts:
LaBelleSauvage · 17/03/2019 23:37

If they were drinking heavily it might be possible the friend just went up and fell asleep in the wrong bed and your DH just couldn't be bothered moving him?

Still think he should have told you and changed the sheets

Original poster
BuffetLurker · 17/03/2019 23:37

@RedHats I don’t mind people disagreeing with me, I’m just answering their questions

OP posts:
lyralalala · 17/03/2019 23:38

my bed, my house, not welcome to sleep there

Presumably your DH thought ‘my bed, my house, fine with me’.

Fair enough to say you’d rather he didn’t in future, but not worth getting wound up about imo.

elasticfantastic · 17/03/2019 23:39

I have absolutely no idea why this would bother you, or anyone for that matter.

They crashed out in the bed. They went to sleep. Unless you were already asleep in the bed when they got in it, I don't understand why you are bothered? I don't understand what they is an invasion of privacy?

whatwouldyoubelikeat28 · 17/03/2019 23:41

Or they were chatting into the night and fell asleep? I've shared beds with platonic friends both male and female and I know my friends do too, both guys and girls. This would be a non issue in my circles

Butterymuffin · 17/03/2019 23:41

It definitely crosses into 'odd' when there are other made-up beds available to sleep in.

Nnnnnineteen · 17/03/2019 23:42

I stayed at my best mate's house yesterday, her husband was away and we slept in their bed. It was lush, we had a good old natter before we went to sleep!

pootyisabadcat · 17/03/2019 23:45

Wow. It's his house and his bed, too Hmm.

Whereareyouspot · 17/03/2019 23:45

Weird and I’d hate it
Why on earth didn’t DH send him to the spare room if there is one ready made up?

mamaslave18 · 17/03/2019 23:46

Really weird.
I’d be livid if someone slept in our bed with no reason to.

Dieu · 17/03/2019 23:47

I'd find it hard to get worked up over this.
They were probably just pissed and not thinking straight.
No big deal.

gt84 · 17/03/2019 23:47

I wouldn’t like it. I don’t like other people in my bedroom anyway.

I wonder if other posters would feel differently if the friend had been female or if the husband was bisexual?

Alsohuman · 17/03/2019 23:50

But the friend isn't female so why hypothesise?

CircleofWillis · 17/03/2019 23:51

I would find this very weird and intrusive. I don't know any straight male family or friends who would do this when there are other made up beds available. Even female friends would opt for their own bed after a natter if it were available. Were they drunk?

tolerable · 17/03/2019 23:51

invasion of privacy or possiblyility did more than sleep?unclear

MargotLovedTom1 · 17/03/2019 23:52

I've shared a bed with female friends before in the past out of necessity , however these days I'd automatically go to the spare bed rather than share. I absolutely cannot imagine DH or any other man I know choosing to share a bed with a mate when he could have a bed of his own. If there were no other beds available then he'd crash on a sofa.

Original poster
BuffetLurker · 17/03/2019 23:54

Invasion of privacy is my only issue.

I am fairly private, have made expressly clear before I dislike people in our bedroom, and the idea of someone actually sleeping in my bed feels like an intrusion tbh.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 17/03/2019 23:59

Your husband slept in your bed with his mate when there were several other options. WTAF. That is beyond weird and not acceptable.

ALargeGinPlease · 18/03/2019 00:00

I'd hate it. I am weirdly precious about my bed and I would be very uncomfortable about someone else sleeping in it. Also, I think it's a bit odd that your Dh was ok sharing his bed when there were other, made up ones available.

Spanielmadness · 18/03/2019 00:06

Do you have guest-only sofas and dining chairs? Guest-only toilets and cutlery?

martinidry · 18/03/2019 00:10

There were other, made up beds but your husband and his friend decided to sleep together in your marital bed? That's very weird.
I would be very uncomfortable about someone not close to me sleeping in my bed. It's too intrusive.

AnyFucker · 18/03/2019 00:10

Are they Morecambe and Wise ? Hmm

This would not happen in my DH's world. I am in the "it's weird and out of order" camp.

MyDcAreMarvel · 18/03/2019 00:10

Pretty unusual for straight men to bed share, are you sure he isn’t gay/bisexual?

pootyisabadcat · 18/03/2019 00:14

Well, it's already happened. What are you going to do, burn the mattress? They were probably absolutely sozzled and just crashed out.

StoppinBy · 18/03/2019 00:17

If you had other sleeping spaces then yes I do think it is very odd for his friend to sleep in your bed without you being ok with it.

I have definitely shared beds with my friends of both sexes but none of them had partners at the time, if their partner wasn't ok with it then I wouldn't be ok with it either and would sleep on the couch if need be.