DP just not turning up home!?

[checkuser]

DP and I don't live together so only have one set of keys.

I went out a few weeks ago and he stayed in with our 2 year old. I came home at just after 2:30 in a taxi fairly drunk. I'd messaged back when he'd messaged me within 15 minutes latest every time.

He's gone on about it since, about how it was irresponsible and immature for me to turn up drunk at 'that time' (don't 100% disagree!) and about how when he goes out next to be prepared for him turning up at around the same time at the same level of drunkness. Which was fair to me, otherwise it would have been hypocritical, and as long as he's quiet coming in I don't mind.

So, he's gone out tonight. I've told him he can stay here afterwards. He's told me to leave the door open because he plans on being in late (even though he knows I hate leaving the door open). I left it open from when I went to sleep. I woke up at 3.35am with no sign of him anywhere, the last picture on social media being of him with some guy in a house somewhere. Proceeded to spend the next 20 minutes calling and messaging with no response. Still got nothing.

AIBU to think this is ridiculous that he went on since my night out about how I'm an immature drinker for coming in drunk at 2:30 in a taxi, yet I'm sat here at past 4am not knowing where he even is with no sign of him turning up home!!?

Lock the door and go to bed.
You can chat about it in the morning or when he does return. (He'll ring doorbell you'll hear). He has overshot and isn't being safe but meh... he might deserve some ribbing back over next few weeks but don't worry about that now. You've stayed up enough guarding the open front door. Next time just lock it and he uses his keys like a normal person.

In the meantime you've a 2 year old who'll need their mummy fresh and rested in the morning. You might get 3 hours in before s/he wakes up.

Absolutely lock the door. I couldn’t even be in the house with it open. From now on door gets locked and you’ll have to wake up to let him in when he knocks

Ah, one set of keys... I missed that bit. Ridiculous that you said he could stay there afterwards when it's not his home and he planned a ridiculously late one. It's unreasonable to expect you to wait up all night, or without even texting you a time he'll be home. You've missed most of the night guarding an unlocked door with child inside.

Drunken him is probably enjoying this or forgotten it.

Lock the door and go to bed.

Next time he goes out he doesn't stay at yours. End of.

Get another set of keys cut.

It’s your house, why wouldn’t you just lock the door? Bit of a fuss about nothing really. He can go out, you say so yourself, but why are you being all weird and fretting over it?

You left the door unlocked with a 2yr old in the house??!!
Seriously??

Have you found him op?

Lock the door and let him sleep in a bush.

From your post it sounds like you needed to return home as your dc was there and he was doing the caring. However there was no reason for him to come back to yours tonight.

Hope you are asleep with a locked door

I think some relationships are death by a thousand cuts. This would make good inroads into me not feeling anything.

Why don't you live together if you have a 2 year old?

What has that got to do with this thread blackprism and what the fuck has that got to do with you?

He is punishing you for a night out. He doesn’t live with you so he can go home.

Next time you won’t want to stay out so late, will you?

He’s a dick. Lock the door.

I too do not understand why he's staying at yours after a drunken night out when he has his own home to go too. Weird why to do things imo. Would it not be a good idea to get some keys cut if you are I parenting a child? It seems that there is a lack of common sense here.

Co parenting

Maybe he is home. His home. Lock the door if it helps you sleep.

And just be smug that he’s berated you for one single night out and you get to lord it over him for being far worse.

Get another set of keys.

Oh dear. Looks like tit for tat got derailed!

For clarification, we split when DS was born and recently got back together to give it another go about 6 months ago. I wanted to treat it like a new relationship incase it didn't work so we haven't yet officially moved back in.
He still lives with his parents since the split and that's a 40 minute bus journey away, hence why I said he could stay here.
Very rude @jemihap ?

Either way, that's how I definitely know he's not gone back to 'his' home and no, I still haven't heard from him. The door has been locked since I posted though!

Myfoolishboatisleaning

Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?

No, Harry did you actually read what Jemihap wrote? It was very Daily Mail! I can only imagine how fucking horrible they are in real life. Also what Blackprism asked was rude and unnecessary.

@HarrysOwl, perhaps @Myfoolishboatisleaning just thought that @jemihap was being rude, making assumptions and generally being a dick. I know I did.

Does it matter what time he's home? And why are you checking up on him? If my OH goes out I just enjoy having the bed to myself and tell him to be quiet whenever he rolls in.

For the sake of a few quid why don’t you just get a spare key cut for nights like this. Either trust him to look after it or hide it outside and lock up.

I don't understand why you coming home after a night out at 2.30 was a big issue.
Cut another set of keys. It's always a good idea to have more than one set. Whenever someone is looking after our DCs at home, we always leave them with the spare keys.