DP just not turning up home!?

[checkuser]

DP and I don't live together so only have one set of keys.

I went out a few weeks ago and he stayed in with our 2 year old. I came home at just after 2:30 in a taxi fairly drunk. I'd messaged back when he'd messaged me within 15 minutes latest every time.

He's gone on about it since, about how it was irresponsible and immature for me to turn up drunk at 'that time' (don't 100% disagree!) and about how when he goes out next to be prepared for him turning up at around the same time at the same level of drunkness. Which was fair to me, otherwise it would have been hypocritical, and as long as he's quiet coming in I don't mind.

So, he's gone out tonight. I've told him he can stay here afterwards. He's told me to leave the door open because he plans on being in late (even though he knows I hate leaving the door open). I left it open from when I went to sleep. I woke up at 3.35am with no sign of him anywhere, the last picture on social media being of him with some guy in a house somewhere. Proceeded to spend the next 20 minutes calling and messaging with no response. Still got nothing.

AIBU to think this is ridiculous that he went on since my night out about how I'm an immature drinker for coming in drunk at 2:30 in a taxi, yet I'm sat here at past 4am not knowing where he even is with no sign of him turning up home!!?

"'yeah, I've one upped you, haven't I?'"

How pathetic.

Oh ffs. Just say you dont play games and don't want to be with someone who does. Childish git

You deserve better than this.

Try to remember why you broke up the first time round and think about how he’s treated you since your night out... which by the way you were very much ok to have. Do not let him gaslight you into thinking you have reacted badly.

You do not let him near your DC when he is this intoxicated. Putting him in the shower will not sober him up, get shot off him.

Kick him out. Life is too short to deal with childish men like this.

Ditch him. One up in what way? I hate to say it but i would be asking whos bed his been in? His certainly not been out drinking that late everywhere shut hours ago. To do this when his child has been very ill this week is disgusting. I would be telling him straight where does tit for tat end and why are his priorities not about his child. Dont waste your time on someone who treats you and your child like this.

You're not going to end it, are you?

It's always the same. You can clearly see what type of man he is, and you know how he is going to treat you but you won't leave. Rinse and repeat and you've summarised a thousand mumsnet threads.

Honestly he is behaving like a controlling childish prick. Kick him out back to his mums right now & don't left him near your toddler until he's sobered his immature ass up

Have a feeling the OP is going to put up and shut up too :/

Well, hes clearly got no respect for you. So what now?

Get rid of him. Is he mature enough to look after his child?

He's 22 going on 16 - he's a lot of growing up to do, Ditch him.

Op, virtually everyone says the same thing - dump him. But you’re not really responding. No idea why you’d leave your door unlocked and why you’d allow his gleeful drunken arse into your home.

Save yourself some money and don't get a key cut. Let him live back with his mother because you have 2 children on your hands here OP. He sounds petty and childish and I wouldn't want that around my child.

Let him work out his issues before you even think about him moving back in with you.

Asking why they don't live together when they have a child is not rude at all and gives a better insight into the dynamics of the relationship.

yeah, I one upped you

So that’s how life will be with him - there for his convinience and if you dare do anything for you that doesn’t benefit him you will be punished by his need to ‘one up’ you.
He’s pathetic and needs his ass kicking to the kerb.
I really hope you do this......but like others I have my doubts. Just because he’s the bio dad doesn’t mean he had the right to dick you over. In one of my previous jobs I saw more lads like this that I ever wanted to. The urge to slap their stupid faces was unreal - how dare they treat someone who loves them this way.
He’ll never love you by the way - he’s too busy loving himself

Time to send him back to his mum. For good.. Your second try relationship sounds like it's pointless. You've got one child already, and he's also trying to control you. Why would you waste your time!!

This is very childish. Even if he felt you were wrong, to deliberately plan to do the same is not helpful.

Are you sure reconciliation is a good idea?

Save yourself the effort of getting him a key cut. Send him and his overnight bag back to his Mum and enjoy the quiet. He's not ready for a grown up relationship. Ditch the dead weight.

Get a key cut - only as a spare for you though.
It’s a control & punishment situation from him.

Literally sounds like a child :S

My Husband is 26 and would have come in tail between his legs apologizing the whole day and would have had breakfast made and the house cleaned up for me (even though i would have told him not to worry about it)

God i'm so glad i'm no longer on the dating scene.

If I’d been out and got home drunk at 2.30, DH would laugh at me, make sure I went to bed with some water and painkillers and make me a bacon sandwich in the morning.

DP would come and pick me up! Sadly, I can't get trollied like I used to before the menopause.

If he one-upped you this time, what'll it be next time? He didn't mind you keeping the door open all night to punish you. He didn't think of his 2yr old then. Oh no, he was just out to punish you.
He bore a grudge against you all week and then implemented the punishment with glee and delight.

He was probably also punishing you for going out the week before and making him babysit while you dared to go out and enjoy yourself. And maybe talk to other men.

OP you don't have to live like this, he is not a loving partner. This is not how a mature man behaves.

A nice partner would be happy that you enjoy yourself. A revenge binge night out is horrible, horrible behaviour. A red flag.

Kick him out, today, for good.