Taco
Posters can only go on the info they have.
The OP was utterly unreasonable to disappear for a day and a night to go clubbing.
My general point stands though. A good number of posters rushed to the DH's defence. Some said the op should be grateful/happy the DH does nursery drop off 3 X week and bedtime while the op cooks. (Should she do bedtime & then cook in some people's minds??)
What I want to put across is that many many fathers put themselves FIRST, their jobs, their hobbys, their own needs, everything, and their family get only what they are prepared to give.
Mothers tend to put themselves last. Almost always. And suffer for it as a result. That is why women underachieve at work, earn less and fall into poverty more easily. Why they have tiny pensions etc. Why mental health suffers under the strain of relentless fatigue and childcare.
Children almost always go directly to their mother, not their father for help or advice. It's wearing to be the go-to for everything and exasperating that fathers input is expected to be small, both by children themselves and wider society as a whole.
The DH might be an exception to the rule. But worth considering that even in households with "equal" partners, statistics show that mothers do far far more of the work than fathers.
Mumsnet is FULL of mothers saying how exhausted they are with childcare & domestic responsibilities often combined with work and lazy fucker husbands/partners.
I've never met a man yet who has said the same. They might be worn out with work/studies but that is not the same as being worn down constantly doing low level tasks for others.