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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Choice of restaurant - AIBU?

220 replies

Virgo28 · 14/03/2019 17:53

Went out for friends partners birthday meal yesterday night at an Indian restaurant. She has 2 kids (8 & 12) neither kid likes curry so one sat eating nam bread and pompodoms and the other picked through a curry his mum ordered for him to try even though he said numerous times he didn't like it. I actually felt really sorry for them both and wondered why would you deliberately choose to go for a meal that you know your own kids don't like? She has joint custody with the kids dad so would have loads of opportunities to go for an Indian without the kids if they really wanted. I just don't get why you would do that. AIBU?

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burritofan · 14/03/2019 21:26

Hard to believe the kids have tried such a range of food they've sampled everything India has to offer and dislike it all, though. As PPs have said, it's not a one-size-fits-all cuisine.

I was a terribly fussy eater as a child and my parents didn't pander to it; otherwise they'd have only been able to eat at jam sandwich restaurants. You can't eat according to the fussiest palate at the table, it's unfair on everyone else.

(Nb. I've never been to an Indian restaurant that does chips?!)

FrancisCrawford · 14/03/2019 21:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaBelleSauvage · 14/03/2019 21:39

FrancisCrawford exactly.

Fortunately for the children they have parents who take them to different restaurants to challenge their tastebuds. Hopefully eventually they will become less fussy....

Maybe branch out to deep fried twixes...

Original poster
Virgo28 · 14/03/2019 21:41

@francis Crawford - I never once mentioned the word cruel, RTF. I also never said the isolaus said about taking the kids, I agreed with what she said and then put what I would do. My point is that if I knew you hated sushi I would not invite you to eat there. Its not about pandering to fussy eaters, and it's not about me me me which seems to be the common thing on here. I wouldn't dream of knowingly going out to eat at a restaurant I knew someone didn't like.

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Original poster
Virgo28 · 14/03/2019 21:43

@labellesauvage - deep fried twixes? Is that actually a thing? Speaks volumes about how obviously fussy I must be 😨

OP posts:
LaBelleSauvage · 14/03/2019 21:53

I don't know OP I just made it up in response to Crawford's deep fried mars bars...

Original poster
Virgo28 · 14/03/2019 21:56

Phew, thought I'd missed out on something. I'll sleep better tonight now....

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Temporary2016 · 14/03/2019 21:56

What Indian restaurant doesn’t serve chips?????

Chips, plain naan, korma (NO SPICE) sauce....

Sorted

PhilomenaButterfly · 14/03/2019 21:57

Worra the naan pun got a very sarcastic "Wow." from DD 11. 😂

HotpotLawyer · 14/03/2019 22:26

Menus from 3 Indian restaurants in a street quite near me
tandoorinightsdulwich.co.uk
sites.kukd.com/dulwich-tandoori/menu?_ga=2.189754795.1427410933.1552601842-1431883340.1552601842

www.chefonline.co.uk/surma-curry-house-east-dulwich-south-east-london-se22/menu

Not a sign of a chip or non Indian food in any of them!

BlueCornishPixie · 14/03/2019 22:28

The kids are 8 and 12, they are old enough to cope. People need to learn that sometimes they actually aren't going to be accommodated and they need to learn to adapt.

What do you meant they don't like Indian? They don't like curry? They don't like spice? There's lots of non spicy things, starters, sides, tandoori stuff, korma, flavoured naans even if it doesn't do chips or omelette.

It's actually really sad that you wouldn't chose pizza on your birthday because your Dsis didn't like it. Sometimes it's okay to put your own preferences first, there's no need to constantly think of others. Your Dsis would just have had to have something else which is fine because it's your birthday and your feelings are the most important. Same here, the DC just have to have something not too exciting. It's not a big deal, and they will learn that sometimes not everything is about them. It's not like they won't get food, they just don't get a very exciting meal out.

LaBelleSauvage · 14/03/2019 22:40

Martyring yourself by not picking the restaurant you want for your birthday is like martyring yourself by doing all cooking, washing and cleaning for your DC even once they are big enough to help out. You're not being good to them in the long run.

It's bad for children to get what they want every single time. They need to learn that sometimes they have to do things they don't necessarily like because it's nice for other people, in the same way that they need to learn to cook and clean and look after themself.

It's not selfless to pander to them. You just end up with bratty entitled children.

tabulahrasa · 14/03/2019 22:41

“ I wouldn't dream of knowingly going out to eat at a restaurant I knew someone didn't like.“

Why not though? Unless someone has major allergies, they shoiuld be able to find something they’ll eat on a menu.

Oh and aye, deep fried twixes are a thing, I once stood behind a teenager in a queue in a chippy who ordered a Cadbury’s caramel supper...

burritofan · 14/03/2019 22:43

Is anyone else really hungry for Indian now? I'm dying for Tayyabs' dry meat, and a mountain of Bombay aloo.

LaBelleSauvage · 14/03/2019 22:45

burrito so hungry! Doesn't help I'm watching Masterchef foodporn on iplayer...

BunsOfAnarchy · 14/03/2019 22:52

I went to a Thai place for my bday and my DD ate barely anything. She had a small amount of plain rice. Boring as fuck but it did her no harm.
No. I refused to celebrate my birthday in fucking Asda Cafe because that's the only place she will lick her plate clean in.

You live in some snowflake fantasy world

BunsOfAnarchy · 14/03/2019 22:57

I wouldn't dream of knowingly going out to eat at a restaurant I knew someone didn't like.

Im allergic to sushi, went to a japanese sushi restaurant for my besties birthday. I found something that tasted like bland personified but i couldnt care less. A bit of salt and pepper and it was fine. It was her bday. I grabbed a big Mac on the way home instead.

Thing is, you don't have to be a martyr. Sometimes its okay to be selfish. Or what i would call...normal

Original poster
Virgo28 · 14/03/2019 23:01

I don't consider myself a martyr. Like I said it's more important to me that everyone can have a good time enjoying good food. I'd like to think that my kids are quite well rounded. They can and do fend for themselves successfully, (admittingly my son is banned from using the iron, but that's a different ball game) neither are perfect and they both have their moments but neither are spoilt, bratty or entitled.

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SmarmyMrMime · 14/03/2019 23:03

I went to an Indian for my birthday. The DCs don't eat curry. I adore curry. I don't tend to cook it any more because of the DCs having no interest in eating it so it's not worth the effort.

The Indian restaurant is actually the DCs' favourite and it was DS1 that put us on to it! He was once given the choice for an occasion when he was about 4. We were expecting McDonalds or Morrisons, and he chose "the gold elephant" it took us a while to twig that he meant the buffet place we blundered into some time earlier.

They love the logo, the rickshaw in the lobby and all the side bits, the naans, poppadoms, rice, chips, a bit of starters, deserts and pizza as well as the buffet style. I love that they are happy and I get a good curry. Win win!

Babysitting is thin on the ground and out of most of my friends, there are too many adults where someone in the group can't or don't eat curries so going out for Indian with the DCs it is. I already make far too many compromises on what I eat due to my own intolerances and other people's fussiness and issues (such as ILs who only like bland beige food) If it's my birthday, I'm definitely feasting on curry while my DCs feast on carbs and sides!

Original poster
Virgo28 · 14/03/2019 23:12

@bunsofanarchy - luckily I have two kids that eat well and always have done. Can't comment on Asda cafe as haven't been in one for years. Sounds like your world is more like a snowflake than mine ❄️❄️

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jjandtheseagulls · 14/03/2019 23:13

Ffs. Wind up merchant or what. YABU.

TickledOnion · 14/03/2019 23:14

I agree with you OP. I went to an Italian for my 40th with DP, DCs and SDCs because there was something everyone would eat. I would have preferred Thai but wouldn’t want the DCs to only eat plain rice. We went for Thai on a night when we didn’t have the DCs.

Xmasbaby11 · 14/03/2019 23:24

Hmmm. My dc are 5 and 7 and I wouldn't take them to an Indian. They are both fussy and dd1 has ASD and anxious in new settings. We are trying to branch out and encourage them to eat different food but it would make my birthday stressful to take them there. I would go for Italian or pub where my dc would be more comfortable. I hope this would change as they get older.

I would expect 8 and 12yo NT kids to fit in though, tbh.

Original poster
Virgo28 · 14/03/2019 23:27

@tickledonion - exactly, tbh as long as I'm eating something I like, which is basically anything except haggis, black pudding or oysters I'm happy.when the kids were younger, If I fancied something the kids didn't like we went without them. I never felt put out or like I was missing something. I never once thought bugger everyone else I'm eating here and you can all sit and eat rice.

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Original poster
Virgo28 · 14/03/2019 23:30

Time for bed. Thanks all it's been a pleasure as always. I'll go back to my snowflake world and promise to try and get the kids to an asda cafe in the near future.

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