Choice of restaurant - AIBU?

[Virgo28]

Went out for friends partners birthday meal yesterday night at an Indian restaurant. She has 2 kids (8 & 12) neither kid likes curry so one sat eating nam bread and pompodoms and the other picked through a curry his mum ordered for him to try even though he said numerous times he didn't like it. I actually felt really sorry for them both and wondered why would you deliberately choose to go for a meal that you know your own kids don't like? She has joint custody with the kids dad so would have loads of opportunities to go for an Indian without the kids if they really wanted. I just don't get why you would do that. AIBU?

I read the menu and couldn't find anything not Indian on it. They may well of done something if she had asked. It wouldn't even enter my head to choose somewhere my kids or any member of my family didn't like.

Take it you don't have kids op?

It's not all about them. On their own birthdays I let them choose.

Anyway, going to a variety of places gives them the opportunity to try things. It's amazing how often they think they don't like something then try it and love it.

It's a pleasant way to learn that sometimes you have to do things you don't want to.

@FourEyes

What's the restaurant? Intrigued to see this menu

I think it's quite good for kids to sometimes have to tolerate someone else's preference that is not their own. I think I don't do enough of it with mine.

It's one of the ways in which they learn that the world doesn't revolve around them. I would have made sure they'd had food prior, myself, but most of the children I see don't look as if they'll keel over from malnutrition if they don't eat much of a meal for one dinner. I know mine wouldn't!

Ah well, sometimes kids just have to suck it up I'm afraid!

There were no chips or anything not Indian on the menu.

No chips??! But how do you have a half and half? Not a proper curry then, Broken Britain indeed.

I’m sure the children didn’t starve, for all you know they ate before coming out or when they got home. Once in a blue moon, a parent should have the choice of where to eat, and the kids are old enough to suck it up.

It wouldn't even enter my head to choose somewhere my kids or any member of my family didn't like.

Yeah, so you keep saying.

There were no chips or anything not Indian on the menu.

Surely they served plain rice?

I love Indian and I've never come across one that didn't do plain foods too hhhmm

Yes I have kids

Thing is they probably would of done plain chicken and rice or chips if the parents asked!

No I wouldn’t book a restaurant my dc wouldn’t eat at becuase that’s not ok imo, you’ve got dc so if they are attending the meal you go somewhere they will eat something, it’s part of being parent.

I can't see them even having to ask.

I genuinely can't think of one single Indian restaurant that doesn't sell a couple of plain dishes.

They did eat something though. Naan and poppadoms and perhaps bits of curry and rice. They may even have been fed before. I'm sure that they didn't starve.

I don't understand why people feel that parents need to pander to children like they are kings and queens. If they were that hungry they could eat. They chose to be picky and didn't. I'm sure the parents didn't mind and had a good time. The kids probably had food at home afterwards.

My kids would love nan bread and poppadoms instead of "real" food with vegetables and stuff.

You're determined to make this a thing to get worked up about aren't you, OP?Despite numerous posters telling you it's really not that big of a deal. What you'd do for your kids is irrelevent, somewhere that doesn't centre them and their wants on someone else's birthday.

You clearly have some unspoken judgey issue here with either your friend's parenting skills or, more likely, her partner's step-parenting skills and you're looking for validation here. Well, you'll have to do better than "they took the dc for Indian food and the dc don't like Indian food" if you're going down the neglectful, selfish parent route.

I suppose all the desserts were curried too?

Or are you going to drip feed that they begged and pleaded but were banned from having one?

Sounds like you're suggesting she's prioritised her partner over her children? Are you jealous?

"Went out for friends partners birthday meal"

The meal wasn't about the kids and what they wanted. Sometimes life gets to be about other people.

Maybe it was her partner’s favourite food?
They don’t eat rice?
Maybe they are picky about everything so it makes no difference.

None of the Indian restaurants I go to or see in London do non Indian food / chips, but they would do butter chicken without spice or sauce or something if asked.

I think it’s ok not to always put the kids’ preferences first, there will be times when they’re older that they’ll be exposed to food they’re not keen on so it’s better to learn young that there are a range of restaurants out there and it won’t always be burgers and chips. And she tried to get one of them interested in the curry.
I think it’s ok once in a while. I was a picky eater as a kid and only ate very bland things, my family still took me out to restaurants where I’d end up eating basic sides etc because otherwise we’d never have gone anywhere except macdonalds!

If it was my birthday and the kids were mega picky there is no way I would go to Pizza Express every damn occasion.

Yes, you are being unreasonable OP, it's not always all about the kids. If I lived my life around where my kids wanted to eat I'd basically live in a pizza place.

YABU. This is why children grow up to be entitled spoiled brats. Birthday person should have their choice and kids should learn the world doesn’t always revolve around them. My parents never asked where i wanted to go or what i wanted to eat. I’ve survived and am glad for the exposure to different cuisines.