Choice of restaurant - AIBU?

[Virgo28]

Went out for friends partners birthday meal yesterday night at an Indian restaurant. She has 2 kids (8 & 12) neither kid likes curry so one sat eating nam bread and pompodoms and the other picked through a curry his mum ordered for him to try even though he said numerous times he didn't like it. I actually felt really sorry for them both and wondered why would you deliberately choose to go for a meal that you know your own kids don't like? She has joint custody with the kids dad so would have loads of opportunities to go for an Indian without the kids if they really wanted. I just don't get why you would do that. AIBU?

For the doubters - I really don’t think it’s that unusual to go to a curry house where there’s no chips or ‘English’ food. If you are in an area with a high Indian population eg)southall you wouldn’t get that. A posher Indian restaurant wouldn’t do chips either.

@tabulahrasa - no, I love to try different food. The difference is that if I was organising a family meal - out of respect I would choose somewhere that suited everyone. I am not so selfish that I would deliberately book something that I know someone dislikes just because I wanted to eat there. If there was somewhere I really liked then I would go another time.

How else do kids learn about new food if they never try new food?

I’m sure there was food on the menu they would eat but maybe the mum is just fed up of her picky eaters who decide they dont like stuff even before they’ve tried it.

It was her birthday meal, I’m sure she didn’t want a happy meal!

It’s good for kids to try different things and also to realise the world doesn’t revolve around them. I think your friend was reasonable.

They are both lovely people who I get on with really well. Just because I have a different opinion doesn't mean that I think less of them.

Judgey friend aren't you!

The kids aren't picky but won't eat ANY Indian food? Ok....

I can't be fucked with fussy eaters. Nor would I ever be dictated to by someone else's limited diet. Nor have I ever been a snowflake parent regarding my DC's dietary choices.

I'm glad my parents didn't martyr themselves to not being able to enjoy a curry because I didn't like it as a child.

Maybe it's her partners absolute favourite, like it's my dad's favourite. He should be able to have what he wants on his birthday and not get forced to go to pizza hut to cater for fussy kids.

But the person who the meal is in celebration of, should surely be the main consideration? Isn't that how we teach our children that sometimes it's not all about us, and that sometimes we need to suck it up buttercup, because it's somebody else's moment in the sun? Isn't that how we teach our children that we don't just get respect, we give respect too?

@nannyred, as already said neither child is a fussy eater. For the record they have both tried curry before didn't like it. The only other food I know they don't like is seafood.

I love Indian, my oldest child did not, we’ve been to the Indian restaurant on my birthday a few times, he just had to suck it up, he would eat the naan, rice, chips, chicken or whatever... it’s tough! He’s 17 now and not mentally scarred at all, and actually doesn’t mind Indian food now.

I bend over backwards all the time for the kids and put them first, so I do choose a restaurant of my choice and they like it or lump it, as I do when they choose to go to god awful frankie and bennies for their birthday.

not for my birthday no-general meal yes butg why shouldnt the person having a birthday pick

kids cant eat chips and nuggets forever

what if your kids didnt like anything but kfc op?

It does rile me when people say 'I don't like Indian food'.

Do they mean the milder, northern foods, like a supermarket Butter Chicken? Or a fiery Keralan curry? And everything in between.

I am not a fan of hot, spicy curry. But I can always find plenty of things to eat at an Indian.

My first intro to Indian food, aged 4, was mum's curries. She'd learned how to make it from a Gujarati lady in east Africa in 1960. So we had it, occasionally, once back in Essex. It was a beef curry (presumably curry powder?), with lots of bowls of 'stuff', desiccated coconut, raisins, chopped cucumber, banana that you stuck on it.

Fantastic.

My DS2's favourite food, from about 8, is sushi.

BUT- I get that wasn't necessarily down to me; it was luck, given that my DB, around my age, having also had the east African curry experience, primarily loves a Ginster's. And maybe a Chicken Korma, if pushed.

Thanks for all your wonderful responses - my question seems to have rubbed lots of you up the wrong way. For the record the kids are lovely, polite and not at all fussy eaters. I know parents of real fussy eaters and if you think that "just" not eating Indian or seafood is fussy then you are deluded.

At 8&12 it's time they were less fussy. We took ours to Indian restaurants from birth (one of DD's first foods was naan), and we chose places we wanted to go not because they were kid friendly!

@worraliberty - my god you've jumped on the bandwagon with the bit between your teeth. I asked a simple question which I have had answered. Everyone is different, everyone parents differently, everyone makes different choices - that is why I asked. Not sure why you are so hostile 🙄

@anniehm - good for you, I prefer to eat where everyone enjoys it not just myself.

So they don't eat any Indian food and they don't eat any seafood? What a broad spectrum of food that is. And anyone who thinks that this is not fussiness is deluded? Oh well, I can live with that. It'll be made easier by my ability to reflect on my deluded state whilst eating curry and sushi alongside my DC who will happily eat the same.

Bet the kids aren't fussy about eating McDonald's and KFC though

. Everyone is different, everyone parents differently, everyone makes different choices - that is why I asked. Not sure why you are so hostile 🙄

Oh, and at the irony of this!

@foureyes had the best response

We went to a lovely friends meal with our children who were 3 and 1. They liked a lovely Thai there wa 5 children under 5 and it wa absolute carnage. Kids were intrusive Nd morning really suitable for them to eat, absolute shit show. But we look back Nd laugh in a “what was we thinking” kinda way.
At their age I would expect them to at least try the food, or graciously eat bread and boiled rice to celebrate a birthday. Curry to children of that age is possible

Sorry about the spelling baby sleep on 1 arm

@gabsalot - luckily both mine are older now (late teens) , ds is like a human waste disposal and dd will eat or try most things. When they were younger we enjoyed going to different places, if the kid or kids didn't like something but me and DP did then if we were going out as a family we would go somewhere we all liked and me and DP would go to the ones they didn't like without them. We compromised.

I also disagree with you op.

You're presenting yourself as unselfish to do this, and therefore parents who do this, by default, are selfish. It isn't about that. It's important to teach kids the world doesn't revolve around them. Imo, 100% kid-zentric parenting style does the child no favours whatsoever long term.

In our house, birthdays are about the person whose birthday it is. It's lovely actually. One day a year that is entirely about you, doing the things you love, with the people you love. Birthday persons choice. We all get excited about our day, the dc really get involved with considering what the person whose birthday it is, wants. So, for dhs birthday we others cooked a full English brekkie for us all, then we all went to play golf. On dd2s birthday, we had cake for breakfast (made by the other 3), and then went to a theme park. Bizarrely, the dc now get more excited preparing for others birthdays.