Choice of restaurant - AIBU?

[Virgo28]

Went out for friends partners birthday meal yesterday night at an Indian restaurant. She has 2 kids (8 & 12) neither kid likes curry so one sat eating nam bread and pompodoms and the other picked through a curry his mum ordered for him to try even though he said numerous times he didn't like it. I actually felt really sorry for them both and wondered why would you deliberately choose to go for a meal that you know your own kids don't like? She has joint custody with the kids dad so would have loads of opportunities to go for an Indian without the kids if they really wanted. I just don't get why you would do that. AIBU?

YANBU my SIL is like this. My dc1 had ARFID (a lot better now older) and SIL would go out of her way to arrange trips to restaurants where there would be no children's menu, and everything came with balsamic vinegar, or pernod or any number of other things you'd never dream of feeding a 5-year-old.
SIL would then sit there condescendingly criticising our parenting when our dc couldn't eat anything except a bit of dry bread, and getting crotchety because she was hungry and miserable and it was way past her bedtime. At about 9pm when we'd specifically asked for an earlier booking. But no.
How I refrained from chucking my drink over her on one memorable occasion I don't know. I just walked out instead, and left DH to cope with it that time. Caused no end of fall-out and quite a rift for a while, that did.

OP: AIBU

Everyone: YABU

Friends partners birthday. Therefore Friend's partner gets to choose the type of food. Never mind the fussy kids.

Ach no it’s fine. It’s not always about the kids...not every time. They can sit through an Indian meal and see another day.

My kids tend to be fussy despite my best endeavours. Nine times out of ten we choose places they like - but once in a blue moon the birthday person gets first choice of destination and the children have to deal with it in a positive way.

I still get flashbacks about nam bread.

Yes and I assume it was the partner’s choice as it was his birthday. Or should the kids get to choose that? Of course they shouldn’t. Don’t be soft.

They're not going to starve. They're old enough to suck it up for their mum. I wouldn't pander to it or spoil my kids by letting them dictate beige food all the time. no chips - shock horror!

Won’t somebody think of the children!?

atlastifoundit but after the first couple of times your SIL did this why would you keep going? Part of that is your own fault plus its a bit different to the current scenario isn’t it? There has been no suggestion this is anything but a one off chosen to suit the person who was having a birthday.

Oh come on OP, surely it’s nan of your business.

Saying you don’t like any Indian food is a bit silly IMO, so many different flavours why put them all in one basket?

Also if you go somewhere the kids may not eat, feed them beforehand. Same for the PP moaning about a late table booking, you didn't have to go!

YABU

Kids won't be harmed by putting someone else first once in a while.

We are bringing up children to be adults, are we not?

When I grew up, you were given a meal. If you didn't want to eat it that was fine but you weren't fussed around and offered something else.

There is now nothing I don't eat.

She's doing her children a favour.

I've been eating curry since I could toddle, DF thought I'd stop hassling for his food if he gave me a taste of Madras, wrong, still love spicy food. DN if to ask for her favourite, chicken dip dip as a two year old, she meant chicken korma and naan . Children don't only eat nuggets and I wouldn't be the adventurous eater I am if my parents took your stance

My daughter is a nightmare when it come to food but you have to kidding if you think that my partner or I would sit in Nando’s or McDonald’s for our birthday meal. I give her a sandwich before we go and she eats a plain popodum, some boiled rice and if she’s doing me a huge favour and making a point about how amazing she is and what an awful mother I am FORCING her to eat Indian food she might have a mouthful of grilled tandoori chicken.

Tough. Sometimes kids just have to go where you want to go and I’ve had my fair share of horrible meals in pizza express or Burger King to satisfy my kids sometimes they have to put up with somewhere they wouldn’t choose

It's good for kids to not have the whole world evolve around them.

Sorry, not ignoring people just looking after my ndn dog whilst they are away. For the record the kids are not picky - Indian is one of the only food groups I know of that they don't like. Neither am I jealous - not sure what exactly I would be jealous of 🤔. I accept that my opinion is in the minority but I am a grown up so can deal with accordingly. Thanks for all your wise knowledge.

Partner's birthday so presumably he wanted a curry for his birthday.

Even if they had plain boiled rice, of course there was something they could eat. And at that age, plenty old enough to eat a bit without whinging about it. Sounds like they need to broaden their horizons a bit.

You must have gone to the only curry house in the UK that doesn't serve chips or some sort of plain food.
It was one meal. I doubt she is force feeding them curries every night.
If I only went where my 4 yr old would eat happily I would never go out as she keeps changing her damn mind about what she likes.

Sounds like you don't like your friend or her partner much? The children will be fine. They might even learn to like Indian food

YABU

Perfectly normal thing to do. I was taken out for meals at places I didn't like when I was a kid and if I was hungry enough I would end up eating something and if not then tough shit. Didnt do me any harm and learned an important lesson that not everything was always about me

I think YABU. Curry works pretty well with picky kids because everyone shares the dishes so dcs don't have to choose something and then leave it, but intead can try things or eat just rice or bread if they want. It won't do them any harm to have naan and papadams for one night and at least the mum got to choose a place for her birthday meal that presumably she enjoyed.

My dcs are reasonably good eaters now but used to be a bit picky and I certainly wouldn't have let that dictate where we ate for adults' birthdays - I think it's good to learn that sometimes we have to fit in with others' wishes.