I know I am but... I fancy Jacob Rees mogg.

[BrinkPink]

Just watching him on bbc news and I can deny it no longer.

I’m a remainder, I’m a lefty but I SO WOULD

Urgh

Well his hair wouldn’t look like that once I’d had my way, would it.

I don’t know why! I like tall men. I like specs and nerdy-looking men. He’s articulate and wordy which does it for me. I don’t normally like posh so it’s not that.

Shudder

He looks like he ejaculates dust . I'm concerned for you. PM me if you'd like the number for some mental health charities

I have a weird feeling he’d be the opposite...very NON vanilla.

Totally agree.

Each to his own but I assume after your very quick awkward missionary shag his nanny poo will come in and give him bitty and clean up his winky.

If that floats your boat, go for it.

I will pray for you OP

grim

That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever read on MN! not envy

He’s one of the most vile people in politics, and he’s got some stiff competition!

OMFG pass the brain bleach. And Michael Gove. Heeeeeeeeave - No.

That said, my strongest teenage crush by far was on Rik Mayall .....

He'd be a missionary with no for play.

I can imagine him to be a tiger in the bedroom, actually.

Sweet heavens. Take an icy shower at once and, if that doesn't work, cut out your own eyes.

He looks like he ejaculates dust

Seriously, that's not even funny.

I'd do Boris any day. I'd ride him like Red Rum and spank his arse with a rolled up news paper. He's just a mega sex god. And I bet he's filthy in bed

I bet he keeps his vest on.

No way! I’d rather eat my own poo.

YABVU!

I bet he wears y-fronts.

I've actually just googled him to see if I was misremembering him and if he was in fact sort of...rakish or something.

But no.

I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart, OP, for making me feel infinitely better about my current weird crush. I mean 'infinitely' in the literal sense. All thanks to you.

Also, I know they've gone out of fashion but you might want to consider getting a frontal lobotomy at this point.

WITCH! WITCH!!!!! BURN OP AS A WITCH!!!!!

Hes fucking rank, get a grip.

I find the thought of him as an object of lust deeply upsetting

I think he would too

I have a weird feeling he’d be the opposite...very NON vanilla.

YES! That’s part of it too I think. He’s kind of straight-laced and repressed and so I think he’d be wild in bed.

again.

Still Old Boy Tory waters run deep and I think he’s a bit of a nasty git. i wouldn’t be surprised if he is anything but staid and old man in that department. Aside from looking like a post apocalyptic Fat Controller, he also looks fruity and cruel to me so I think you’re absolutely fucking nUts.