PILs and SILs so selfish? AIBU?

[Nothinglefttochoose]

It happens every year and every year it annoys me! My MIL and my SIL NEVER send my children their birthday presents on time!

Sometimes the presents are weeks or months late and they only ever give them in person.

I did ask my MIL and she said the reason she does that is that she wants to see their reaction and get the gratification of giving a present.

Am I the only one who thinks that is so self centred and not really what birthdays are about? You get a present on your birthday because it’s your birthday!!

They are making it all about themselves!

I think it’s so odd and rude.

AIBU?? I don’t think I am.

I just reread - I see you've lost your parents and your brother, and this must make birthdays etc quite bitter sweet for you, knowing what your own child will never know from them. That does explain your hurt, I feel. I think if your own family's way is precious to you, and not shared, that will hurt and I am so sorry.

Could you perhaps try to arrange to go to see them on or near the birthday? Or could your husband explain to them that your losses mean their presence at your place them would mean a lot to you? People don't know what you need, often, unless you tell them.

Again, so sorry for your losses.

Actually it seems like you are making it about yourself. Your kids could receive nothing at all. Then you would complain about that.

I'm also one of the few going against the grain here. I'm a mother and a grandmother. Not once would it occur to me to not give presents that are for someones birthday/Christmas/occasion, on their birthday, or at least make sure they get there before to be opened on it.
And if I'm asked to do anything differently by any family or friend, then that's fine too, because I respect that people choose their family dynamic.
I don't need to be there, it's not about what I want.