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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I'm not 'cruel' to my dog because he's not allowed on the sofa?

165 replies

HarrySnotter · 12/03/2019 07:29

I love my dog. I absolutely adore him and he's a massive part of our family life. He comes lots of places with us, we holiday in this country so that he can come too, he gets two long walks every single day (we live rurally) sometimes more. He has a very happy life, I think, and is very loving and much loved.

He's not allowed on the sofa, he never has been (he has his own furry bed). It's not a massive issue as he was trained from a pup not to jump up on it. We've just bought a new suite and the same rules apply but as it's new he seems to be chancing his paw a bit and made a couple of attempts to jump up. He's told to get down and does so. My friend was here last night when this happened and she was 'horrified' (her words) that he's 'not thought highly enough' to be allowed on the sofa. If I'm watching telly at night, I normally sit on the floor and he lies next to me or with his head on my knee etc (he's massive). He's not allowed on there because he's huge, sheds bucket loads and I don't want the furnishings to smell of dog.

I think she's being a twat. AIBU?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
chatwoo · 12/03/2019 07:32

Your friend is being unreasonable. There's no reason for the dog to be on the sofa, he's a dog not a human being...

Does she have pets that crawl all over the soft furnishings? Or she just likes to be horrified for no good reason? Grin

SillyLittleBiscuit · 12/03/2019 07:36

Nah, not unreasonable at all. I don’t have your resolve so my Staff always ended up on the sofa with me but I can see why you’d prevent it.

I love big dogs - what is he?

Namechangedbecauseiwantto · 12/03/2019 07:36

Yanbu, she is being a twat. My dog is allowed on a sofa but only because I cover it in fleece blankets that I can wash because he's smelly.
Someone said it's cruel not to let them sleep on your bed, or to go upstairs, my dog is not allowed upstairs, and def not on my bed as I don't want my carpets ruined, and his claws ripped my duvet at my old house.

yearinyearout · 12/03/2019 07:37

Ignore your friend, she is BU. I love dogs, mine have been very well looked after and none have been allowed on the furniture. They have very comfy beds, and if they are trained as pups not to go on the sofa they don't miss it. If our dog wants a cuddle she sits and stares at us and we sit on the floor for a while!

Original poster
HarrySnotter · 12/03/2019 07:37

I have no objection to people having their dogs on the sofa, it's just not for me. She acted like I was being a horrible dog owner for not allowing this. 'Poor fur baby, not allowed on sofa' etc etc. Fucks sake ...

OP posts:
TapasForTwo · 12/03/2019 07:38

I grew up with dogs. I hate dogs on furniture. Sofas are for humans and cats

balls2DWall · 12/03/2019 07:42

HarrySnotter your house your rules. I have bischons that dont shed get monthly grooms and i have leather couches. thats the only reason they are allowed up with me.

YANBU.

but I was told on here last week I was cruel for keeping an old dog in a warm shed with a rug duvet and halogen lamp! apparently it should be in my bed pml Hmm

IncrediblySadToo · 12/03/2019 07:43

I admire your strength of character 🤣

My dogs have never been huge (Cocker spaniel type sizes) and they ‘weren’t allowed’ on the sofa either, but I couldn’t bear waking them up so...they just needed to get up when I wasn’t looking 😊. They had one part of the sofa they were allowed on that had a rug on it and would get up on that or someone’s knee if we were in the room.

A big dog it would be an absolute no go for me though. They’re just too big and heavy and ruin sofas & im not up for replacing them frequently.

All good in anyone else’s house, I’m happy to share with their dog...
...my friends Great Dane sometimes wants to share and drapes herself all over you, other days she just wedges herself between you and one end and pushes 🤣🤣🤣

You’re not at all cruel, just sensible. It’s not like you’ve shoved him out onto the cold cold snow while you’re hogging the open fire!

Ask her if she wants to play frequent cleaning and replacements 😊

Original poster
HarrySnotter · 12/03/2019 07:43

@SillyLittleBiscuit, he's a Scottish deerhound, so not exactly tiny. We have a choccy lab too who's also quite big for a lab, but looks diddy in comparison.Grin

OP posts:
adaline · 12/03/2019 07:45

It's your choice at the end of the day.

Mine is allowed on the sofa because there is no way I'm sitting on the floor to fuss and cuddle the dog when there is a comfy sofa going free!

Plus, I mean, it doesn't really bother me. We have blankets we wash regularly so it doesn't smell.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 12/03/2019 07:46

I must be very cruel then-dog not on sofa or ever upstairs! She has her own bed —that she shares with the devil cat—

SillyLittleBiscuit · 12/03/2019 07:47

Oh lovely @harrysnotter so could weigh 7 stone or so? You’d need a massive sofa to be fair!

Original poster
HarrySnotter · 12/03/2019 07:49

Well that's another think Biscuit, if he's up there, there would be no room for anyone else!

OP posts:
Chesntoots · 12/03/2019 07:49

Totally missing the point - but Scottish deerhounds! I would love one, but I live in a tiny terrace and the poor bugger would have his head out the front door and tail out the back!

berrybubbles · 12/03/2019 07:50

YANBU. I used to help a friend with depression and would see to their dogs/clean their house for them whilst they were working as they lived alone. They had two gorgeous white leather sofas. The amount of black dirt that came off of them was sickening. There was probably a years worth of dog piss and shit trodden onto the sofas as they would mess on the floor and walk around in it. He had guests sitting on the sofas and spreading the dirt and potential disease into their own homes. It’s really unfair on them! We don’t jump on our sofas with our shoes on, so why are dogs allowed? They stand in way more gross things than us! I refuse to sit on my DM’s sofa as it’s just covered in dog fur and sick or dribbles of piss

adaline · 12/03/2019 07:50

I missed your post about the size - definitely not unreasonable then! Mines only a beagle so he's not massive but he surprises me with how much room he can take up when he sprawls out!

Bezalelle · 12/03/2019 07:51

YANBU. And "chancing his paw" is an amazing turn of phrase!

Easterbunnyiscomingsoon · 12/03/2019 07:53

We have 4 ddogs. Only 2 are allowed on the sofa. One growled at dd once so she is banned, and the other is simply too big!!
They know the rules, as yet they haven't rang the rspca on me...

Brilliantidiot · 12/03/2019 07:57

My dogs are allowed on the sofa and on the bed - but - they have their own blanket on the bed and they know they are on that or on the floor (in their own bed) and sofa has throws so they get washed regularly. Both get a daily hose off after walks in the shower especially this time of year because they're terriers and thus low to the mud floor.
I live in a flat so all of it is upstairs, and I like the company and they're little dogs, not a deer hound, I'd think twice about a bigger dog, mine are dwarfed by some cats!
But I don't think you're cruel for not allowing your dog on the sofa, each to their own, and as long as they have shelter and it's warm, there's no reason why a dog has to be in the house permanently, many working dogs thrive living outside.

SofaSurfer20 · 12/03/2019 07:59

Your dogs whole life is in your home, yet you restrict where he/shecan go?

Yeah YABU

Chesneyhawkes1 · 12/03/2019 07:59

Your house, your rules. Mine are all allowed on the sofas as I like to watch tv with a dog or 2 cuddled up to me

Wolfiefan · 12/03/2019 08:02

She’s a twat.
We have an Irish wolfhound. And cats. The cats are allowed on the sofa and the dog has her own (single mattress) bed. It’s not cruel. It’s not that she isn’t thought “highly” of. It’s that I want the cats to have a space that she can’t and won’t invade.
(She does back into the sofa and sit next to me for a cuddle but that’s not “on” the sofa right? Grin)

picklemepopcorn · 12/03/2019 08:02

Tbf, a dog that size doesn't really need any extra height. He's practically at sofa height while lying down.

Ahem. Photo? Roolz is roolz.

Original poster
HarrySnotter · 12/03/2019 08:05

Your dogs whole life is in your home, yet you restrict where he/shecan go?

No, his whole life is not in our home. Please read my OP properly.

He comes lots of places with us, we holiday in this country so that he can come too, he gets two long walks every single day (we live rurally) sometimes more.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 12/03/2019 08:05

Our dog isn’t allowed on the sofa ( got growly as a stroppy teen when told to get off) and he’s not allowed upstairs at all
He does sneakily do both sometimes ( with out being growly these days) but he knows he’s not allowed
He’s got his own room so I hardly think he’s neglected