To think I'm not 'cruel' to my dog because he's not allowed on the sofa?

[HarrySnotter]

I love my dog. I absolutely adore him and he's a massive part of our family life. He comes lots of places with us, we holiday in this country so that he can come too, he gets two long walks every single day (we live rurally) sometimes more. He has a very happy life, I think, and is very loving and much loved.

He's not allowed on the sofa, he never has been (he has his own furry bed). It's not a massive issue as he was trained from a pup not to jump up on it. We've just bought a new suite and the same rules apply but as it's new he seems to be chancing his paw a bit and made a couple of attempts to jump up. He's told to get down and does so. My friend was here last night when this happened and she was 'horrified' (her words) that he's 'not thought highly enough' to be allowed on the sofa. If I'm watching telly at night, I normally sit on the floor and he lies next to me or with his head on my knee etc (he's massive). He's not allowed on there because he's huge, sheds bucket loads and I don't want the furnishings to smell of dog.

I think she's being a twat. AIBU?

Yanbu. Previous dogs I’ve had haven’t been allowed on the sofa because they both molted and didn’t want hair on clothes. Our dog now doesn’t molt but does need grooming and we weren’t prepared to sit on the floor all the time. Also she has us wrapped round her little paw

I'd have a dog on the sofa. It's easy enough to clean (whilst I primarily mean the sofa, this also applies to the dog).

But that would be my dog on my sofa. What other people do with their animals, as long as it's not starving, overfeeding, failing to train, hit or otherwise neglect or abuse their animal, is precisely Fuck All to do with me.

Same way I let the cats on the bed. DP grew up with neutered country ferals not being allowed upstairs. My house, my bed, my cats. My washing. If somebody else prefers their pets only at floor level, that's their choice.

(Having said that, when myself and an ex had a dog, the ex was a huge fan of the Pack Leader mentality and forbade said mutt from getting above his station. Which meant Mutt waited for the sound of ex's car driving away each morning before making his way onto the bottom of the bed and discreetly slid off the sofa as his car pulled up of an evening).

I might feel differently if I'd ever had a dog any larger than a Beagle, though - a Great Dane wanting to cuddle up might be a bit more than I could handle.

YANBU but you've got more willpower than me. We don't have a dog, but when I go to homes where the dog isn't allowed on the sofa (perfectly reasonable) , I feel so guilty, and it's like they can sense the weakness, and give me the puppy dog eyes. I know in my own home my resolve would last five minutes, and the cat, well there's no stopping him doing anything he likes really!

MrsZola our greyhound simply tolerated us too ( but ADORED a slight suspect neighbour).
We had to get a second dog because of the distinct lack of affection from the first.
As she got older, she got a bit loopy, and forgot that she didn't like us much- we would occasionally get tail wags and the very occasional nose- nudge. 😍

YANBU when we grew up we had large dogs and they were not allowed on the sofa. Although DF often came home and shouted "what do you are doing?" upon finding a chancer curled up in an armchair.

I don't mind either way, but it's probably easier if they don't get on to begin with. My mum's dog was hit by a car and is unable to climb in bed right now and he's convinced he's being punished even though he has a very snug bed which the cat covets.

Mine aren't allowed on the sofa unless expressly invited up. They're all in the 35kg - 45kg weight range and that's bloody heavy, plus they have very strong claws that would destroy the material.

They have beds (for the two that like them) and a rug, though will often choose to lie on the floorboards.

our dogs have never gone on furniture. Perfectly happy on the carpet.

My dog is sleeping on my bed now, but he's not allowed on the sofa anymore. As a pup it was impossible as it was a constant battle of wits. He's jump on, I'd say off and he'd get down , give it maybe 30 seconds and jump up again. Repeat forever. Or sit with him on floor, cold and uncomfortable bum.

However I decided once he was about 2.5 years old that I didn't want all the dirt. Constantly stinky, wet sofa and hair. Even the leather sofas got dog dust. So I trained him not to get on them. He now has multiple baskets. It's been fine, but I've failed at the bed. Mainly because he gets on once I'm asleep like a stealth ninja, you just can't tell. However DH is away, so he's on his side of the bed. If we were both in bed, one of us would just had to move our leg a tiny bit, then he'd remember he's not allowed on the bed and jump down . He has his plush bedroom basket.

Dogs are dogs. They are not humans. They get to be looked after, fed, petted, walked and told what to do.

There is absolutely no need for the dog to go on the sofa if you do not prefer it. YANBU.

And the dog genuinely doesn't care.

Your house, your dog, your rules.
Personally, I believe sofas and beds are for people and no dog of ours was ever allowed on either. Dogs were a very much loved part of the family but just like kids, there were boundaries.

I have a dog, love her to bits but I don't allow her on the sofa. Doesn't stop her on a night when OH and I go to bed though, she's a sneaky sod.

Hell no. I love the dog. But she doesn't get up on the sofa or sleep in my bed. She's got her own bed. That works fine.

Mine is allowed on the sofa and he also invites himself into my bed to cuddle in the morning (or occasionally, to shout at me) but he is an Alaskan Malamute and does not listen to anyone but himself
I can protest but to be honest, he thinks all my ideas are shit. He listens to important commands but overall he thinks he does know best and will just do what he wants anyway, but such is the breed haha.

It's most definitely not cruel to not allow him on the sofa, especially when you sit on the floor with him, and he's such a big part of your life and part of your family!

I let my dog on ours and family dogs also. I wouldn't want her to feel it's not her home too!! It's far more comfy than the floor or even her bed.