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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I'm not 'cruel' to my dog because he's not allowed on the sofa?

165 replies

HarrySnotter · 12/03/2019 07:29

I love my dog. I absolutely adore him and he's a massive part of our family life. He comes lots of places with us, we holiday in this country so that he can come too, he gets two long walks every single day (we live rurally) sometimes more. He has a very happy life, I think, and is very loving and much loved.

He's not allowed on the sofa, he never has been (he has his own furry bed). It's not a massive issue as he was trained from a pup not to jump up on it. We've just bought a new suite and the same rules apply but as it's new he seems to be chancing his paw a bit and made a couple of attempts to jump up. He's told to get down and does so. My friend was here last night when this happened and she was 'horrified' (her words) that he's 'not thought highly enough' to be allowed on the sofa. If I'm watching telly at night, I normally sit on the floor and he lies next to me or with his head on my knee etc (he's massive). He's not allowed on there because he's huge, sheds bucket loads and I don't want the furnishings to smell of dog.

I think she's being a twat. AIBU?

OP posts:
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13
drinkswineoutofamug · 12/03/2019 09:05

Dog not allowed on sofas here. They are for humans. Dog has her own fleece bed, she has another bed at the end of our bed and as a treat comes and lies with us in the morning. She's doesn't seem hard done to. My house my rules. Yes she is my sweetheart but she's a dog.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 12/03/2019 09:06

I think that most people who let dogs on the furniture are doing it because they like the dogs beside/on top of them, rather than for the benefit of the dog. I'll be sure to ask CuriousPuppy this evening, see if he agrees and will stop pestering for a leg up Smile

He gets no biscuits or food in the front room. Just bones and pizzles, which are never allowed on the sofa, or me, either. They fucking stink!!!!

Parly · 12/03/2019 09:08

@goodwinter I've honestly never had a problem nor a dog that pushed its luck and took the piss. If you have a rule and stick to it - there's seldom an issue. Dogs have their own beds, bean bag - my eldest trips in the front room and hops up to sleep on my son's gaming chair when he's gone to bed but we allow it on the understanding if asked to budge they budge.

If they didn't I'd have them off and regretting it before they could blink. It's only a problem when there's no clear rules or set boundaries and / or a dog starts throwing its weight about and the owners end up having to live and work around them.

Otherwise we all get along just dandy even the hamster gets to stretch out and enjoy the sofa now and then Grin

To think I'm not 'cruel' to my dog because he's not allowed on the sofa?
bridgetreilly · 12/03/2019 09:12

It's not cruel to treat a dog like a dog, rather than a person. Dogs are not people.

ShadowHuntress · 12/03/2019 09:14

My dog aren’t allowed on the sofa or upstairs. We have an extension built at the end of the living room which is their space. They have their nice cosy beds in there, all their toys, food/water bowl etc. We do have a stair gate across it for when the kids were younger but we leave it open so they can come and go around the house and into the garden as they like. They can not go upstairs as we have carpet (downstairs all wooden flooring). I just don’t want them jumping on the kids beds and getting dog hair everywhere. I mean, we have 3 dogs, one a Rottweiler. If I gave them free reign, we would literally have dog hair everywhere. If I let them on the the sofa, we wouldn’t have room to sit ourselves!

Original poster
HarrySnotter · 12/03/2019 09:14

I do not see why you have pets and then not allow them on furniture TBH.

But, respectfully, this isn't the reason to get a dog is it? We got ours for the company, the walks, the fresh air, the responsibility, the (many!) laughs they give us, the companionship, the snuggles etc. None of these things have to take place on a sofa. However, I absolutely respect your take on this, please don't get me wrong.

OP posts:
Parly · 12/03/2019 09:15

Also re: dogs in sheds and outside kennels. One of mine would sleep in a stable if she could. Loves a freshly mucked out stable full of fluffy straw and goes nuts rolling in it and looking at me all "Do I have to come home? Can I not just stay here and you pick me up in the morning? I'll stay right here I won't go pissing off and causing trouble I just really like this" Rolls around making sex noises in the said fluffy deep bed of straw

Dogs that have lived on farms and in kennels often struggle and don't like to be indoors at all. Some hate feeling shut inside and central heating, plug in or automatic air fresheners and that kind of thing can drive them nuts. They can't regulate their body temperature or get away from overpowering smells and sounds and I've known a few that flat out refused to live inside it was causing more stress than anything else. As long as they have adequate warmth, shelter and access to drinking water and outside space they're good.

Wolfiefan · 12/03/2019 09:16

My dog doesn’t go upstairs either. As puppies giant breeds can damage their joints doing stairs. Now it’s about the cats having a refuge. Plus I’ve tried sleeping in a room with my dog and was woken by hot breath in my face and drool on my arm. Grim! Grin

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 12/03/2019 09:18

YANBU or cruel. We have a white cat, and I wish we were able to keep her off the furniture! She is absolutely beautiful, and we love her very much, but bloody hell, she sheds hair every time she so much as breathes. We have lint rollers dotted about the house, throws on everything, and even the Dyson struggles to keep up with her.

Idonotlikeyoudonaldtrump · 12/03/2019 09:18

Not cruel at all. My one question is, how do you train them not to?!

PinkPaperCrown · 12/03/2019 09:19

Your dog knows no different thanks to the clear rules and boundaries you’ve set and which he (generally) adheres to.

I’d make the friend sit on the floor next time, in the interest of treating everyone equally....

mydogisthebest · 12/03/2019 09:20

My dogs are not allowed upstairs, never have been. They are allowed on the sofas but I sometimes wish we had not allowed them.

They are both big dogs and I love snuggling up with one of them on the sofa but then they start stretching out and I can end up getting off. Also if they get up while I am out of the room and stretch out they cover the full length of a 3 seater. I then don't have the heart to make them move!

badlydrawnperson · 12/03/2019 09:21

YANBU OP end of

hendal · 12/03/2019 09:21

If you’re cruel OP then I am too.
Our dog isn’t allowed on one sofa (leather and claws dont mix) or beds. He was allowed on one sofa which I made a cover for but he wasn’t interested. Instead he has 3 beds across the house and another 5/6 comfy spots on the carpet or rugs that he likes to lounge on.

llangennith · 12/03/2019 09:21

Dogs in this house soon learn the no dogs upstairs or on sofa rule. They have lovely beds of their own in kitchen and living room which are washed weekly.
I don't want my clothes covered in dog hair.

VeganCow · 12/03/2019 09:21

Your dog has a good life. i have 2 and they are allowed on the sofa and bed (one IN the bed haha) but I understand why you don't. If a comfy bed is provided for them, and it's raised off the floor, no problem (a hard floor with a soft bed direct on that hard floor can cause joint problems as the air underneath gets cold and damp, its why those oval plastic beds have a raised lip on the base and air holes in the bottom)

PregnantSea · 12/03/2019 09:24

Good grief, your friend is being ridiculous. This is such a non issue.

My mum's dog is the most spoilt, well loved dog I have ever known. She even has her own bedroom complete with baskets of toys! Not kidding... But she isn't allowed on the sofa because my mum has really nice sofas and doesn't want them to get ruined.

It's up to you what your dog is and isn't allowed to do, take no notice of your friend.

recrudescence · 12/03/2019 09:24

Dogs do not need to lie on sofas or beds or go upstairs to be happy.

theemmadilemma · 12/03/2019 09:25

Mine is allowed on the sofa, it's covered with fleece blankets, but only when only one of us is up there. It's two small for two + a huge dog. He also is not allowed upstairs and therefore has never slept on our bed.

It's not cruel.

Purplecatshopaholic · 12/03/2019 09:27

BTW, I dont mean at all that it is in any way 'cruel' not to allow dogs on sofas. Of course its not. They get used to the rules of the house. I just like my dog snuggling in beside me whether its on the sofa or my bed. All my furniture is covered in throws and blankets which get whipped off if someone comes round - easy. Different strokes for different folks and all that

MeltedCheese82 · 12/03/2019 09:33

@Parly

Otherwise we all get along just dandy even the hamster gets to stretch out and enjoy the sofa now and then

FFS I was not prepared for this level of cuteness this morning.

I have a Bichon and she prefers to lay in her bed but she is allowed on Sofa - Although I would prefer she didn't. We have throws on it so can easily wash them.

But I do have to wash sofa covers a lot because the cat rolls around on them. DP wants a new sofa but there is no way I will be investing until the animals leave this mortal world.

MeltedCheese82 · 12/03/2019 09:33

But to answer your question - YANBU

missmouse101 · 12/03/2019 09:35

Totally ok op! Our dogs have never been allowed on beds or sofas, totally content to go everywhere else and in their own clean, soft, snuggly beds!

JRMisOdious · 12/03/2019 09:36

Not unreasonable st all. Our leather sofa would be scratched to bits by dog claws leaping up and down on it. She’s very happy on the rug at our feet. She’s on her own fabric chair in our bedroom at night, but that’s it.

Feb2018mumma · 12/03/2019 09:40

We have a leather sofa and the mud prints from the cat/dog/food and everything, I am constantly wiping. It's definitely okay if you are able to train them. I always say to my husband I don't know how people keep a clean fabric sofa with pets! I am the same as you, and prefer sitting or lying on the floor at nights!