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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I'm not 'cruel' to my dog because he's not allowed on the sofa?

165 replies

HarrySnotter · 12/03/2019 07:29

I love my dog. I absolutely adore him and he's a massive part of our family life. He comes lots of places with us, we holiday in this country so that he can come too, he gets two long walks every single day (we live rurally) sometimes more. He has a very happy life, I think, and is very loving and much loved.

He's not allowed on the sofa, he never has been (he has his own furry bed). It's not a massive issue as he was trained from a pup not to jump up on it. We've just bought a new suite and the same rules apply but as it's new he seems to be chancing his paw a bit and made a couple of attempts to jump up. He's told to get down and does so. My friend was here last night when this happened and she was 'horrified' (her words) that he's 'not thought highly enough' to be allowed on the sofa. If I'm watching telly at night, I normally sit on the floor and he lies next to me or with his head on my knee etc (he's massive). He's not allowed on there because he's huge, sheds bucket loads and I don't want the furnishings to smell of dog.

I think she's being a twat. AIBU?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
Girlsnightin · 12/03/2019 08:05

Came on to say yes. But reading it's a large dog then no, don't think you are.
I love a small dog on my lap watch telly but would hate a large smelly thing.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 12/03/2019 08:06

Every dog owner has their own boundaries - our is OK on the sofa if the blankets are over it, but no way is he going upstairs!

Much as when I was child there were always 2 rooms I was not allowed in, the parlour and parents bedroom! By invitation only.

To insist that there should be any other arrangement is ludicrous. Only you can decide what works best for your household!

adaline · 12/03/2019 08:07

Your dogs whole life is in your home, yet you restrict where he/shecan go

What are you on about? The dog gets two long walks a day, cuddles and fuss on the floor - he/she is not deprived in any way by not being allowed on one item of furniture!

And if your dogs entire life is inside your house I would kindly suggest you're not fit enough to own a dog.

BruceAndNosh · 12/03/2019 08:07

It would be cruel if somedays dog was allowed on sofa, and other days he got told off for being on sofa, cos that's confusing and not fair on th4 dog.
But you are consistent, and that's what dogs (abd children) need.

youknowmedontyou · 12/03/2019 08:09

YANBU!!

Sexnotgender · 12/03/2019 08:10

I’d like to reply but the lack of pictures prevents meSmile

But seriously YANBU. I have a greyhound and there’s no chance he’s getting on the sofa! He’s got his own bed and duvet in the living room. Our leather sofa would be shredded by his nails and he’s fucking massive (excuse my language) and would pretty much take up the whole sofa.

user1497997754 · 12/03/2019 08:10

My dogs are family and we have leather sofas I put furry throws on them and they get washed every other day and put back on....My dogs are amazing and they can go wherever they want....your choice I know but I couldn't leave them on the floor it's abit sad really a sofa us a materialistic thing or object your dog is a feeling animal....

Parly · 12/03/2019 08:10

@HarrySnotter I'm with you she's just being a twat. There's always a twat with something to say or feel horrified and outraged about when it comes to other people's lives and dogs.

Your house - your shout. The dog has always been off the sofa - even if he's been on it and you've now decided to keep him off he won't die of a broken heart or be traumatised.

Tell your friend to go and shit.

Sanguineclamp · 12/03/2019 08:10

Each to their own. I have dog blankets and washable covers, both laundered regularly. And my two are non-shedding and don't piss or shit in the house (or dribble) thank you very much.

Mummyoflittledragon · 12/03/2019 08:14

Our current dog is the first of any dogs to be allowed on the sofa. It’s for me, not him. He also sleeps on the bed. My life has changed drastically and we have a much smaller dog than his predecessors. I wouldn’t cope with a big dog due to health. There’s no way I’d let a big dog on my sofa. We also have leather.

Tbh if you let them on the furniture you’d equally have people telling you that’s disgusting.

Peridot1 · 12/03/2019 08:16

Saw the tread title and was about to post that I’m cruel to our dogs as they are not allowed on the sofa! So YANBU.

Ours have comfy mattress beds in the utility room where they sleep and baskets with a cushion in the dining area. No need for them to be on the sofa. They tend to curl up in their baskets but then if they come into the living room they stretch out fully on the carpet. Two hairy labs. No way are they going on furniture. Or upstairs. Or in beds.

Original poster
HarrySnotter · 12/03/2019 08:16

I'm on laptop and can never attach an image from here, will post a photo of him when my phone charged. He's a very handsome boy!

I just don't think my kids should have to sit on the floor so that the dog can hog the sofa, especially when he has his own bed (in the living room with us).

I suppose we all have our own 'rules' for pets, don't we. He has a massive garden to dig up enjoy too so I don't think he does too badly.

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 12/03/2019 08:17

My lab isn't allowed on the sofa. She can come on the bed on occasion but only when intivrted to. She would never jump on the bed unless i told her she could. As a result my home doesn't smell too doggy and my guest can sit in the sofa without being infested with hair. She doesn't seem traumatised!

Original poster
HarrySnotter · 12/03/2019 08:18

I know but I couldn't leave them on the floor it's abit sad really a sofa us a materialistic thing or object your dog is a feeling animal....

So are my kids. GrinGrin

OP posts:
labazsisgoingmad · 12/03/2019 08:18

your house your rules going by size alone i quite understand your reasoning my dogs have free run of the house but thats our decision me and my partner but i totally respect other peoples decisions

BiltongBetty · 12/03/2019 08:18

"Your dogs whole life is in your home, yet you restrict where he/shecan go?"

Yep, I do. And I restrict where my children can go, too, despite their lives being here too. They're not allowed in my make up, or in my sex toy drawer - just two examples off the top of my head.

JuniorAsparagus · 12/03/2019 08:19

No dogs on sofas here, or in bedrooms (shudder) but if other people want their dog on their sofa, or in their bed, isn't it up to them?

Original poster
HarrySnotter · 12/03/2019 08:20

but if other people want their dog on their sofa, or in their bed, isn't it up to them? Yes, absolutely.

OP posts:
CantBelieveMyLuck · 12/03/2019 08:21

I don't think it's cruel, I think you need to have boundaries with pets. I've been round others houses where if you're having dinner, they'll pass the plates to the dogs, or share their cuppa too. I just make a mental note to bring some water next time & not to eat there again.

Some find it cute, personally with work wear, you don't want your suit covered in dog hair.

It's obviously an individual thing.

Hazlenutpie · 12/03/2019 08:23

I also adore my dog but she’s not allowed upstairs or on the sofa. This really stems from when I visited DH’s house before we married. His big, hairy, dog was allowed on the sofa and was turfed off so you could sit down. If you sat down where the dog had been sitting, it was smelly hairy and a bit grim to be honest.

So no OP I’m completely with you.

Cluelessbeetroot · 12/03/2019 08:24

Whilst it’s not something I would enforce, as my dinosaur of a GSD is without a shadow of a doubt the ruler of the house, I think YANBU in the slightest, you sound like you love your dogs very much.

@balls2DWall Keeping an old dog in a shed IS cruel, halogen lamp or not.

crispysausagerolls · 12/03/2019 08:24

My dog was unbearable when he was allowed on the sofa! He used to get very hyper and jump on and off and use them as an assault course etc etc (mad working cocker). Since I stopped letting him up when pregnant as I didn’t want him jumping up onto a baby by mistake and he is MUCH calmer and I appreciate having one place at home with no hair 😂 I think they are happier with rules and boundaries, personally. YANBU

anonymousbird · 12/03/2019 08:25

YADNBU! Our dog occasionally comes on the sofa, but would never get on without us first asking her up. She was basically trained not to as a young dog - she's now 11 so we do give in a bit (but only if there's room as she's not small).

She has a super comfy bed, so we bring the bed near the sofa in the evening and she loves that.

She never goes upstairs, why would I want a dog in my bedroom?

Spice04 · 12/03/2019 08:26

We must be cruel too then, our black Lab isn't allowed on our sofa, or upstairs in our house. He's a very happy boy though, gets plenty of walks and has his own safe space where his bed is in the dining room, away from the young children. Don't think I could cope with all the hoovering if he had free run of the house!! Each to their own though

Mmmhmmm · 12/03/2019 08:26

Your friend is a twat.

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