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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ridiculous argument with DH who is BU?

140 replies

NurseryWoes123 · 11/03/2019 09:17

This may be the epitomy of ridiculous...

I sleep with my feet sticking out of the quilt. DH thinks this is ridiculous. It doesn’t effect him at all. They go out the side and mind their own business.

Jokingly he suggested that if someone were to come into the bedroom at night they would drag me out the bed by my feet Hmm

I suggested that surely if they wanted to drag me out the bed by my feet they could just slip their hands under the quilt anyway - so no difference?

Anyway last night around 2am DH decided to prove his point and drag me by the feet out the bed. He was laughing. I was not. I’m 27 weeks pregnant and I need my sleep!

I hit the roof, he said it was a joke and I said it was a mean thing to do, especially as I hadn’t slept well the night before. He said I would normally find it funny (maybe) and that he didn’t understand the difference between now and before I was pregnant.

I sent him to the spare room.

So who was being a twat unreasonable?

OP posts:
Littleraindrop15 · 11/03/2019 09:36

Was it full blown floor landing?

NWQM · 11/03/2019 09:37

He did what! He thought it was funny? He was beyond unreasonable. Words nearly fail me.

TwitterQueen1 · 11/03/2019 09:38

There are not enough swear words to express my opinion of disgust, horror and shock at this.

I'm assuming you were asleep when he did this? If so, it was abusive and could easily have caused you and the baby harm. I would be sending him to the spare room for the rest of your pregnancy. It is utterly unacceptable. And no-one NO-ONE would find this in the least bit funny. I would be extremely upset.

VladmirsPoutine · 11/03/2019 09:39

Did he literally drag you to the floor at 27 weeks pregnant? JFC!

Original poster
NurseryWoes123 · 11/03/2019 09:40

No it wasn’t onto the floor - I realise my OP sounded very dramatic and I apologise. It was a pull towards the end of the bed so my legs came off but he had a firm grip on me all the time.

As said he did point out that I would normally have laughed, after the initial scare, but I think he forgets himself sometimes.

I like the suggestion of calmly pointing out to him why it’s not acceptable at the moment etc. He’s definitely not abusive he can just be silly and forget himself sometimes - which I normally don’t mind.

This is why I need perspective because I don’t know it the tired/hormones are taking over.

OP posts:
MyKingdomForBrie · 11/03/2019 09:41

@fuckynel no, he said that. She put (maybe) which is not the same as saying she would. I would be beyond raging, I would have been fucking terrified to be woken like that let alone while pregnant, not to mention interrupting your sleep. What a complete and utter dickhead.

TwitterQueen1 · 11/03/2019 09:42

Were you asleep at the time?

sausageandrashers · 11/03/2019 09:42

I'm also needing to know if he dragged you out onto the floor because that's completely stupid considering you are pregnant and he is BVU.
If it was a tug at your feet, I would be pissed off but that's because I don't like getting woken up, if you would find a tug at your feet funny when not pregnant then I can understand why he'd be confused because he is only working with what he has known of you and if you find that kind of thing funny usually then how is he to know you don't now because he doesn't know what it's like to be pregnant and knackered. I would just let him know how precious sleep is to you just now because pregnancy is bloody exhausting.

championquartz · 11/03/2019 09:42

He's a stupid idiot. What age is he? Is he usually this idiotic? I can't even begin to think how anyone would find this OK, even in a non-pregnant state.

I would be incandescent with rage. He has some grovelling to do.

MatildaTheCat · 11/03/2019 09:44

Christ alive, I would have had a heart attack. Not funny for me but I guess he thought it would make you chuckle?

This makes him a fool rather than simply U.

Willow2017 · 11/03/2019 09:44

Is he 10?
WTAF went through his head to convince him that was funny?

Whatnotea · 11/03/2019 09:44

I sleep with my feet out too, my husband comes by and tickles me - he is lucky to still be married and alive.

BollocksToBrexit · 11/03/2019 09:45

WTF Shock

I think I'd have killed him with my bare hands. (I also sleep with my feet poking out. It stops me overheating.)

moosesormeece · 11/03/2019 09:45

I don't think I could find anything at all funny if it involved being woken up at 2am. And I'm not pregnant. He's a twat.

FetchezLaVache · 11/03/2019 09:46

Does anyone else see this as really quite fucking sinister?

This man has such a problem with something that doesn't affect him in any way, shape or form that he dragged a sleeping pregnant woman out of bed by her feet, just to make a point that doesn't even exist (as night-time intruders obviously have other ways of getting you out of bed if that is their purpose in breaking in). He's making you sleep with your feet under the duvet, to your discomfort and to no benefit to him, just because that is how he feels that you should sleep. Is it just me, or is that massively controlling?

Damntheman · 11/03/2019 09:46

Wow.. It might have held some mild amusement had it been 10am on a Sunday when you were already semi awake. But 2am wtaf??!

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 11/03/2019 09:47

Ok glad he didn't pull you to the floor, although he could have still injured you - your ligaments soften during pregnancy. And I know you say he still had hold of you, you still could have fell to the floor - really stupid risku thing to do at 27 weeks.

I had pelvic pain with my last two pregnancies - if someone had done that to me I'd have been in agony.

I hope he apologises and you point out to him why this was stupid and dangerous.

ItsAllGone19 · 11/03/2019 09:48

Frankly I'm impressed you didn't kick him because that would have been my instinctive reaction to being grabbed by the feet in my sleep!

He owes you a massive apology, what a selfish self-important arsehole!

Soubriquet · 11/03/2019 09:49

Chuck water over him whilst he’s sleeping

When he complains “but it was only a joke. It was funny” Hmm

God he was so unreasonable it’s unreal

TheInvestigator · 11/03/2019 09:52

This would be funny if he'd come into the room at bedtime, seen you snuggling down ready for sleep and then came over with a jokey smile and pulled you a little. You'd both have still be awake, and it would have just been a jokey thing to do.

But the middle of the night... that causes too big of a shock so you aren't going to find that funny since your natural response will be a release of adrenaline. You end up wide awake, frightened and ready for action. Then you realise it's all a joke, but you've still got that natural chemical reaction happening so your brain won't just switch to haha mode. Stupid man.

BingLiveisRubbish · 11/03/2019 09:54

@FetchezLaVache Oh wow! That's quite a stretch...!!! controlling? Come on!

FizzyGreenWater · 11/03/2019 09:54

'If you want me, your pregnant wife, to not feel physically safe around you, you're going the right way about it.'

Not funny, not even aww at sweetie DH who just can be silly sometimes.

Don't like this at all.

A genuinely nice bloke who can be 'silly' is exactly that - silly when it's appropriate.

A twat acts like your H just did.

Twats around babies, especially twats who think physical stuff is funny, aren't funny at all.

SamStephens · 11/03/2019 09:55

I’d cut a massive square out of the end of his side of the doona so his feet couldn’t be covered out of my own spiteful retaliation.. he was a dick.

SocksInPeril · 11/03/2019 09:56

I think everyone in this scenario is being unreasonable.

I don’t get this. I can’t fathom what the OP did that was unreasonable.

ifoundthebread · 11/03/2019 09:56

Sorry but I found it funny, my relationship is immature like that. In the moment I wouldn't of been impressed with the time but after 5 minutes I would of seen the funny side called him a dick and got revenge by waking him with cheese triangles in his ears 😂

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