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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ridiculous argument with DH who is BU?

140 replies

NurseryWoes123 · 11/03/2019 09:17

This may be the epitomy of ridiculous...

I sleep with my feet sticking out of the quilt. DH thinks this is ridiculous. It doesn’t effect him at all. They go out the side and mind their own business.

Jokingly he suggested that if someone were to come into the bedroom at night they would drag me out the bed by my feet Hmm

I suggested that surely if they wanted to drag me out the bed by my feet they could just slip their hands under the quilt anyway - so no difference?

Anyway last night around 2am DH decided to prove his point and drag me by the feet out the bed. He was laughing. I was not. I’m 27 weeks pregnant and I need my sleep!

I hit the roof, he said it was a joke and I said it was a mean thing to do, especially as I hadn’t slept well the night before. He said I would normally find it funny (maybe) and that he didn’t understand the difference between now and before I was pregnant.

I sent him to the spare room.

So who was being a twat unreasonable?

OP posts:
ChandelierSail · 11/03/2019 09:59

OMG! If my DH had done that to me I would've gone fucking nuclear!

And the fact you're pregnant - you could've fallen and injured the baby.

I'm sorry OP. Your DH is a class A Twat.

Drogosnextwife · 11/03/2019 10:04

And you didn't suffocate him with a pillow? You have more restraint than me 😂

thedisorganisedmum · 11/03/2019 10:05

Does anyone else see this as really quite fucking sinister?
OMFG

It was a stupid joke. I would have gone ballistic, and send him to the spare room too. I would also expect an apology.

Let's not make it a bigger deal than it needs to be though!

Reallyevilmuffin · 11/03/2019 10:06

My partner does this. The feet sticking out irks my OCD immensely. I found it quite funny too...

mogtheexcellent · 11/03/2019 10:09

I'd have kicked him in the nuts and not been sorry afterwards. What a dick.

I also sleep with my feet out the side. Been married 8 years and I doubt DH has even noticed.

bsc · 11/03/2019 10:09

That is very odd behaviour from him.
I can only suggest that every time you wake in the night to use the loo (ok, at 27 weeks you may not be yet, but you will) you wake him too. Y'know, to prepare him for what it's like having a newborn.

downcasteyes · 11/03/2019 10:11

I would have been grumpy too at 2am! But I do think you maybe overreacted just a little. He was clearly trying to joke around, but chose his moment very poorly. I would let it go now.

Billben · 11/03/2019 10:17

😱 I can’t believe someone can be this much of an idiot😱 I guarantee you I’d have been violent if someone had done that to me in the night.

Rikalaily · 11/03/2019 10:18

Is he insane? Firstly, because it's got naff all to do with him what you do with your feet. Secondly, because what does pulling you by the feet achieve, it certainally makes zero point to his arguement. Thirdly, you are fucking pregnant, your ligaments are softened during pregnancy and an unexpected pull which you were relaxed could have actually hurt you. Knobber.

FlagranceDirect · 11/03/2019 10:18

If my husband had done this at any point in our relationship I would have thought he'd taken leave of his senses.

He said I would normally find it funny (maybe)

I can't imagine anyone I know finding this funny. Not only is it not funny, but being woken from a deep sleep by being grabbed firmly by the ankles and dragged down the bed could be terrifying.
Judging by some pps maybe I am lacking in the sense of humour department, but this goes beyond slapstick.

StoppinBy · 11/03/2019 10:19

My first reaction was a big fat - what a jerk, can't believe he did that, how incredibly dangerous and stupid when you are pregnant' but after your update, it sounds like he came past and opportunistically thought he would give a tug on your feet as a joke.

No he shouldn't have done it but if you would normally find it funny then he wasn't intending to be a jerk and if he apologised then I think you should just let it go.

mamato3lads · 11/03/2019 10:21

As long as he didnt physically hurt me I'd probably find this funny after the initial shock. I'd get revenge though, 100% Wink

SilverBirchTree · 11/03/2019 10:26

What a fucking idiot. I'd be furious.

That's an incredibly dangerous thing to do to a pregnant woman.

TwitterQueen1 · 11/03/2019 10:29

You still haven't made it clear whether or not you were asleep at the time OP.

If you were - utter twat
If you weren't - and your second post is very different to your post bts - you're over-dramatising and blowing this way out of proportion. He tugged your legs down the bed. Horseplay - that's all.

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 11/03/2019 10:30

I'm impressed that you left him alive. Well done.

flingingmelon · 11/03/2019 10:31

I'd wake him up at two in the morning in an alarming manner if I were you, he needs to get used to it because your LO will be making a habit of it soon enough.

Congrats on the baby Smile

KurriKurri · 11/03/2019 10:32

Let's hope he grows up in time to be a responsible parent.
What a dickhead - who the fuck manhandles a heavily pregnant woman ?

Itssosunny · 11/03/2019 10:34

I would have heart palpitations if my DH did it to me. It's quite a shock to your body as you are relaxed and sleeping. Why do your feet bother him so much? Does he have an OCD? Do your feet scare him in the night? Maybe your toe nails glow in the dark? Or wrigle?
He should engage his brain a little bit as what he did to you is very selfish.

DanglyBangly · 11/03/2019 10:34

If you would normally have found that funny, then I don’t suppose he’s just not realised things are different. He’s not a mind reader.

Alloverbartheshoutingnow · 11/03/2019 10:35

I sleep with my feet out the same - and ironically it does affect DH.

With my legs out the duvet, when I roll over, I sort of trap the covers and pull the duvet with me.

This leaves DH with no duvet and cold.

I then kick the covers off as I like a cold room/cold bed and he ends up with all the duvet on him.

So I can see how it might cheese your DH off if you do the same thing (which is likely if you are restless and have feet outside the duvet).

If you didnt hit the floor and you would normally find it funny, I don't think he's entirely unreasonable.

Jengnr · 11/03/2019 10:37

*My first reaction was a big fat - what a jerk, can't believe he did that, how incredibly dangerous and stupid when you are pregnant' but after your update, it sounds like he came past and opportunistically thought he would give a tug on your feet as a joke.

No he shouldn't have done it but if you would normally find it funny then he wasn't intending to be a jerk and if he apologised then I think you should just let it go.*

This.

Namechangedbecauseiwantto · 11/03/2019 10:40

I would have been fuming! Yadnbu, he needs to have a good hard think about his behaviour. It was a selfish act, to prove a point, about something that's nothing to do with him! Your feet, up to you.

Itssosunny · 11/03/2019 10:44

Alloverbartheshoutingnow, why not to have two duvets?

MRex · 11/03/2019 10:45

Ok based on your second post - I'd have been annoyed, but I would see why he was just joking. You need to explain that in pregnancy you need sleep more, but also your ligaments are looser so it's dangerous; then accept a proper apology when it's given and then just make friends again. If he doesn't apologise then it's a whole other issue.

I laugh now about being stuck in the toilet for over an hour late at night pregnant because DH took half the door handle off. He hadn't done it as a joke, just forgot to tell me, but when he found me curled up on the floor in a towel nest he laughed and I was cross for days. I can see why it was funny now in not aching, hormonal and fresh from exhausted napping on hard tiles! So let him know it might be quite a few months before you find it funny.

FlagranceDirect · 11/03/2019 10:46

Was OP awake, or fast asleep? It makes a massive difference.