Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 9 10

AIBU?

To ask if your partner or sibling comes first?

250 replies

Seabrook15 · 09/03/2019 16:30

I know this depends on circumstances and relationships, but in general, I am wondering what the majority answers! I am in a bit of a situation that although I don't have to "pick" between the 2, it also kind of is. Just wondering, if asked that question, what you'd answer?

OP posts:

Report

Ffsnosexallowed · 09/03/2019 20:03

Depends on the situation. I have a twin brother, and although we don't see each other often we do have av close relationship.

C0untDucku1a · 09/03/2019 20:03

Husband.

BuildingBackUp · 09/03/2019 20:06

Husband.

Dh and the dc are my family and priority.

Everyone else - including my mum and sisters - are extended family imo.

TheCanyon · 09/03/2019 20:08

My brother, my love for him is unconditional, with dh it's not.

BuildingBackUp · 09/03/2019 20:09

who chooses a random over family don’t care how much u love them, family comes first

Personally I don’t think of dh as ‘a random’. Dh and the dc ARE my family.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 09/03/2019 20:09

Totally depends on the situation and severity of the two conflicting sides.

If DH wanted a lift to the footie but then DSis asked for a (more pressing) favour I'd help her out - his favour is unnecessary as he can make his own way there anyway.

They both need a kidney transplant and I'm an exact match for them both?!
DH - as he supports me and my children financially. Cut throat but there we go.

You have to give us more detail!

BertrandRussell · 09/03/2019 20:10

It has to depend on circumstances and who else they’ve got. My do has a mum and sisters- my brother is much older, not in brilliant health and really only has me-his children are either abroad or have multiple young children. So he might well come first.

JRMisOdious · 09/03/2019 20:10

Partner without a doubt

Frecklesonmyarm · 09/03/2019 20:15

My brother, my love for him is unconditional, with dh it's not.

Really? So if you brother could do anything and you would still love him? Even the most horrible of crimes. If he hurt your kids?

Apart from for children, where I would still love them, even if I didn't like who they had become or what they did I would love them.

But my brother? No I wouldn't.

I do find the differences in family dynamics very interesting.

Floralnomad · 09/03/2019 20:19

Totally depends on the situation , at the moment my dsis is taking priority over everybody else , but dh is very much onboard with that .

picklemepopcorn · 09/03/2019 20:21

DH of 25yrs over sibling? Yes.
DP of a year over sibling who needs me? No.

BarbedBloom · 09/03/2019 20:21

My DH, but obviously some circumstances may change that. But then I would choose DH over all of my family as we aren’t especially close

puppymouse · 09/03/2019 20:22

Depends on the situation. If my sister was in trouble I would ditch everything to help her but I can't imagine a situation where I'd have to choose to be honest

blueskiesovertheforest · 09/03/2019 20:26

Growuppeople a random?

AgentPeggyCarter · 09/03/2019 20:28

Husband.

icarriedaturnip · 09/03/2019 20:30

Obviously it depends on the situatuon, but I would say my husband comes before anyone other than our DC

Hohofortherobbers · 09/03/2019 20:35

Spouse without any doubt we would both say, but our respective brothers are total shits

SandyY2K · 09/03/2019 20:39

It really depends what the issue is. There's a thread going where the DH stalked his wife's sister. The wife is now ignoring her Dsis and is still with her H. A spouse does not trump a sibling IMO, but I'm very close to my siblings.

I can't imagine what situation I would be in, where I'd have to choose one over the other. Without context, it's really a pointless question.

NannyRed · 09/03/2019 20:40

Partner every time.

starzig · 09/03/2019 20:41

Neither would put me in a position to choose.

FuckertyBoo · 09/03/2019 20:43

It does depend on the circumstances, but, without knowing the details, I’d say my husband. But I don’t know your partner or your sibling, so it’s tricky. For all I know, you partner could be a horrible, abusive dickhead and your sibling could trying to help you see that...

SparkiePolastri · 09/03/2019 20:44

Why do I have to pick one?

I don't understand these 'ranking' questions.

I love my husband, he's my best friend.

I also love my brother and would be devastated if anything happened to him.

Because I can't imagine any scenario in which I would have to choose one over the other, I will just say I love them both very much (having lost both my parents, they're the two most important adults in my life, along with my best friend of 40+ years).

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

S1naidSucks · 09/03/2019 21:06

I think this is the wife of the creep that’s stalking her poor sister.

Seabrook15 · 09/03/2019 21:06

No I am here. I just don't want to write the circumstances, I was just asking in general and it seems partner is usually the answer.

OP posts:

BackforGood · 09/03/2019 21:13

From my reading.... 'Depends on the situation' seems to be the most common answer

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 9 10

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.