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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if your partner or sibling comes first?

250 replies

Seabrook15 · 09/03/2019 16:30

I know this depends on circumstances and relationships, but in general, I am wondering what the majority answers! I am in a bit of a situation that although I don't have to "pick" between the 2, it also kind of is. Just wondering, if asked that question, what you'd answer?

OP posts:
Racheyg · 09/03/2019 18:12

Depends.....I love my sister to pieces and never upsets me.
I love my dh but he can really anger me sometimes.

Matilda15 · 09/03/2019 18:34

I can’t imagine a situation where I’d need to pick as my DP and DB are good friends.

It would honestly depend on the situation I think.

picklemepopcorn · 09/03/2019 19:01

Are you the woman who's BiL has been stalking her?

Deadbudgie · 09/03/2019 19:05

Would depend on the situation but most likely DH

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 09/03/2019 19:12

Three pages and the OP never comes back.

Maybe83 · 09/03/2019 19:13

It depends on the circumstances.

Murinae · 09/03/2019 19:16

Husband

PookieDo · 09/03/2019 19:17

I don’t have a partner so I can imagine not having one of those but I can’t imagine not having my sister

We have been through too much and she’s someone who has supported me and my DC more than anyone else, I would very much struggle in a choosing situation to be honest and it would depend on the circumstances

Shinyletsbebadguys · 09/03/2019 19:17

Partner

But then I don't like my sibling so I'm cheating there...id probably choose the pope over her as well

ContessaIsOnADietDammit · 09/03/2019 19:18

Partner as a general rule, sibling if needed as a one-off thing.

TakenForSlanted · 09/03/2019 19:19

Depends.

My sister is mentally fragile and financially dependent on me. Like hell would I let her down for some man I'd been dating for a few months.

A long term partner would be different. But then I doubt he'd be a long term partner if he had issues with me looking out for my baby sister. I'm nit in the habit of dating psychopaths.

Frecklesonmyarm · 09/03/2019 19:21

Depends.

In general my partner comes first and I would expect my brother to put his wife first.

But there may be times my brother needs to come first. For example if I had a night put with dp planned but my nephew was in hospital and my brother needed me, I would be there.

But then do wouldn't expect anything different either.

Blahdeblahbahhhhh · 09/03/2019 19:21

My DH would never make me choose and nor would my sister. I’ve had times when my sister has sort of come first due to a very serious illness. But my DH was great and never questioned it, rearranged work to care for DC etc.

My DC come first and usually DH second. But does depend on who needs you most at that given time.

Growuppeople · 09/03/2019 19:21

Sibling! My sister will always come before my partner, who chooses a random over family don’t care how much u love them, family comes first. What is wrong with some people!

Namelessinseattle · 09/03/2019 19:21

My partner if it wasn’t serious. It would depend on the circumstances if it was.

I would accept more crap from my brother tho. I’d kick my dh to the curb quicker then I’d go nc with my brother for the same behaviour.

Frecklesonmyarm · 09/03/2019 19:24

Growuppeople not for everyone. Not everyone has that family. My partner has supported and been there for me far more than any of my family.

My partner isn't a random. And just being related to someone doesnt make them a priority. The relationship I have with someone does.

Omzlas · 09/03/2019 19:27

Husband

But I would cross the road if my sister was on fire (away from her)

ApocalypseNowt · 09/03/2019 19:30

Depends on the situation?

Have they had an argument or do they both need one of your kidneys..? Grin

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 09/03/2019 19:33

Depends on the situation for me!

CrispyDoor · 09/03/2019 19:53

Husband. Haven't seen or spoke to sibling for over 25 years.

HarrysOwl · 09/03/2019 19:55

Husband. Above everyone.

Chocolate35 · 09/03/2019 19:57

Definitely my husband. But my sister is a knobhead so it’s not the hardest decision.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 09/03/2019 19:59

Husband first. But if it was my between him and my children I'd choose my children.

BertrandRussell · 09/03/2019 20:00

Surely it depends on the circumstances?

Bloodybridget · 09/03/2019 20:02

If they both had equal need of me at some point (hard to imagine as DB has lovely wife and daughters) I would prioritise my DP, unless maybe one of her DCs or her DSis could step in.

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