To ask for what to feed unwanted guests?

[MaryPopppins]

We have a couple coming over on Sunday for lunch.

I don't want either of them here. Nor does DH.

But it's unavoidable. So it's happening. So no "just don't have them" comments please as that's a whole other drama.

Anyway. In the past (when we enjoyed their company) I've cooked various things, roasts, lasagne, buffet type bread/cheese/salad etc.

Well. They're all too much effort for me to go to for them now. Jacket potatoes maybe.

What's the easiest group meal I can throw out. That will feed us, but not make the kitchen and loads of crockery dirty please?

Maybe a big bowl of pasta and a salad?

... to the lions ?

Spag bol and go skimpy on the meat, pad it out with lentils. Chilli and do the same thing. Super hot curry, made with Pataks' paste and tons of lentils or chickpeas and not much chicken and shop bought naans.

Actually like tinsel's evil idea, but a really spicy curry {everyone can help themselves) sounds perfect. Chickpea, rather than meat, curry, to be sure.

Boiled and potatoes and frozen fish with ketchup

Oh please give us the backstory! Pretty please

@TinselAndKnickers that is just genius, I like your style

Yep, pasta made with jar sauce, and a pre-cut salad.

Tinned potatoes fried with Spam.

Spag bol.

Some of these are too good for unwanted guests.

I’d make it VERY obvious and serve tinned macN’cheese/ravioli/spam/corned beef/“breakfast in a tin”...yuuuck

Aww come on and tell us why you don't want to host them! Don't be a Spoilsport 😂

Tosco Pasta Bake upthread is a better idea with some value garlic bread, and a bag of lettuce.

Chocolate mousse pots for afters.

I’m dying to find out the backstory to this! Beans on toast, fancy it up a bit with some ready grated cheese, open a tin of ambrosia rice pudding for desert!

get back here OP!

Frey Bentos do a vegetarian pie now.
Don't plate it up in the kitchen, bring it to the table so they KNOW what they are being asked to eat then watch their faces as you cut them nice big pieces of it to slop on their plates.

Perhaps with value dried potato & some value tinned veg?
You can get tinned brussels (I've never been brave enough to try them) I am told they are FOUL.

A children’s buffet so bowls of cheese string, white bread jam sandwiches, budget crisps, fruit shoots, haribo and party ring biscuits. Serve on Barbie paper plates to save washing up.

I'm really intrigued to know the full story here! Just be sure that whatever you serve you have a portion for whoever is holding the gun to your head... I really can't see why you would go through with it otherwise!

TinselAndKnickers

i tried to make roast beef for the mother in law to be but accidentally turned into leather boot.Well i never had to worry about cooking sunday lunch again she never came back =p

Supermarket own brand pasta bake, preferably from the cheapo 'value' range. £3.50, 12 mins in microwave! Job done! Come on, you gotta tell us why they are so unwelcome. Nasty PILs??

why thank you!

Seriously OP, you need to give us the goss! What have the dickheads done?

Pizza. Make sure the crust is hard and the centre is soggy (mine always is )

Phone for pizza, but don't consult the unwanted guests, just get a margarita and maybe one portion of garlic bread if you need to bump the cost up to avoid delivery charges. No pudding, no booze, no salad.

I am as intrigued as the rest of MN, though, as to why your only option is passive aggression here. Is it your mum and her new bloke that she left your dad for, or something?

spaghetti bolognese. home cooked so no insult and so easy and quite a pleasant dish.

Who are these guests?