To ask opinions on sex while pregnant with a man who's not the dad

[blackcoffeeinbed]

What are people's opinions on having sex with someone you have met at 25weeks pregnant after being single for 3 months after splitting up from baby's dad?

Have had a friend ask my opinion on wether I think this is acceptable. I was a bit surprised by her asking and didn't really know what to say. I ended up saying it's her life and her body and if she is comfortable then it's her choice but to make sure she uses a condom as she hasn't known this guy long. She responded that she doesn't know if she should because it feels wrong while she has her baby inside her still, I said that if she is unsure then not to pressure herself.

I've never really thought about it tbh and usually I'm just of the opinion what people do isn't any of my business, but reflecting on it now I don't think I personally would if i was her, I can't put my finger on why exactly but then I've never been in her position! What do others think? Would you? Wouldn't you? Have you?

I don’t see a problem with it. If it’s safe sex then who cares?

Presumably lots of surrogate mothers have sex with their partners while pregnant? Is that somehow different? If so, why?

(I’m not a supporter of surrogacy, btw, but I thought this might help unpick some reactions as a thought experiment)

The baby is growing inside the mother, encased in viscera. It's not peeping at the guys knob through the cervix and waving. Ffs. Some people.

jamoncrumpets 🤦‍♀️ what a stupid response

Again, you make a statement @pilates and don't explain why...

For those who find the idea gross,for weird judgy reasons, would the bum be ok?

I think I would still find this weird. I'm not being judgy, because logically there's no issues with doing it. But my initial reaction is that I find it gross for some reason. That's not being judgy. Being judgy is saying anyone that sleeps with anyone who is not their baby's father during pregnancy is being trashy. Nobody (other than I think one PP) has said that or thinks that.

I think there is a scientific explanation to why it feels gross to most people but we just don't know it yet. Like when they found out that ex-partners' sperm influences woman's future offspring's DNA, and men usually don't find women's multiple sex partners attractive.

I seem to recall a story in one of the trashy celeb magazines years ago about Katie Price having sex with a new partner while pregnant with her first (after the footballer father left). I think it was a very young Gareth Gates...... did she claim he lost his virginity to her? I can't remember.......

Anyway, infection risks would be the concern. Otherwise up to her, none of my business.

My judgemental head would be saying “she should concentrate on her pregnancy and her future child rather than jumping into bed with someone else”, my not so judgemental head is saying “up to her what she does”.

jamoncrumpets - that was not what I said!!

“Gross” is absolutely judgemental

Not weird to want sex when pregnant everyone's different , as long as you're totally ok with it don't give it another thought

Are they cousins?

I've been single whilst pregnant and I did review a fair few 'offers' directly linked to my being pregnant. Some men want to fuck pregnant women and most of them are quite blatant about it.
It's not a feminist issue to me, I do not want that type of man near my body. I wish pregnancy wasn't so fetishised.

Like when they found out that ex-partners' sperm influences woman's future offspring's DNA, and men usually don't find women's multiple sex partners attractive.

Do you have a link to this research?

Receive* not review ffs what an unfortunate typo!

Yeah that sounds grim sagradafamiliar, though it sounds like they are easily weirded out if they are so blatant. Sorry you were on the receiving end though

It doesn't strike me as at all strange. I had no idea that other people would find it so disturbing.

*weeded out

When I was pregnant. Never had so many people hit on me. Turns out that sleeping with a pregnant woman isnt the niche fantasy I thought it was.

Even though I was sinhld I didnt as the risk of infection, even something simple like cystitis was too much. Plus I was so uncomfy. But I also fekt it was disrespectful to the baby who was sharing my body. Sounds silly perhaps. But that was my thought process.

*single

Why not? I wouldn’t because I barely wanted sex when pregnant, even with my partner, but I don’t see a problem with it!

Betty I have a feeling that USA surrogacy contracts say no sex, not sure how to check though.

A better example would be the earlier one, if a couple use donor sperm, is it gross for them to have sex?

On the'men don't like women who have had lots of sexual partners' thing this is truer in some countries than others - therefore it's a social construct.

And some men's obsession with youth and virginity really is gross and has caused monumental amounts of harm all over the world and continues to do so. So, not something to say oh yeah 'science' totes supports men when they do these things. I mean unless you think child marriage is super cool. To name one thing that results from this.

@kaytee87
onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/ele.12373

Would everyone who thinks the man here seems strange think the same if the woman was pregnant with someone else's sperm because he was infertile?

Is the pre-existing relationship that you think is necessary, or it being the biological child of the man, or both?

I can't find a position on this (although I know what it should be!) and I'm curious about those who had a very strong one.