To ask opinions on sex while pregnant with a man who's not the dad

[blackcoffeeinbed]

What are people's opinions on having sex with someone you have met at 25weeks pregnant after being single for 3 months after splitting up from baby's dad?

Have had a friend ask my opinion on wether I think this is acceptable. I was a bit surprised by her asking and didn't really know what to say. I ended up saying it's her life and her body and if she is comfortable then it's her choice but to make sure she uses a condom as she hasn't known this guy long. She responded that she doesn't know if she should because it feels wrong while she has her baby inside her still, I said that if she is unsure then not to pressure herself.

I've never really thought about it tbh and usually I'm just of the opinion what people do isn't any of my business, but reflecting on it now I don't think I personally would if i was her, I can't put my finger on why exactly but then I've never been in her position! What do others think? Would you? Wouldn't you? Have you?

Very very clear what women think of women and our freedoms. Deeply depressing on the so-called International Women’s day.

I dread to think how the children will turn out, with mothers who shag different men whilst pregnant (and will most certainly carry on when the baby is born!)

How do you think a woman having sex whilst pregnant will affect the baby's future development...? And just as you can't seem to read the OP, she said "guy" singular.

But the fact is, it's plain gross to shag around when you're pregnant. and I don't believe anyone who says they think it's OK

So despite saying Fuck fuck fuck the silly comments from posters who can't bear it that people DARE to think differently to them. How the hell do you cope in real life? you don't believe other posters who have a different opinion....?

Boy you've made yourself look a lot bit foolish there.

Wow that's a lot of rage about someone else's sex life, summerisgone. If I were a misogynist I'd say it sounds like you need to get laid. But mostly I just think you're strangely irate about what takes place inside someone else's vagina.

Bloody hell @summerisgone was zapped pretty quick!

I think it’s weird that a guy would want to. Like ... I’d be concerned he has a sexual fetish, to be honest.

My male friend done this years ago slept with a pregnant woman and he wasn't the father he was absolutely ripped to shreads from the other guys in the group constantly made a fool of him for it I just thought it was a bit weird when I was pregnant and had broken up with dcs dad I couldn't have slept with another man yeah once she settles in to mother hood after the birth.

Just to say, my friend does NOT have a revolving door of men in and out of her house or vagina. This is also her first child so her actions would not be effecting any other children.

I honestly didn't think this thread would attract so many mixed and heated responses. It's an eye opener to how far people can read something simple and adapt it into something to suit their own judgement.

I didn't know how I felt about the subject before hence the post but after reading the responses I think I'm just of the opinion she and any other single pregnant woman should just do what makes them happy and not spare a thought for what anybody else thinks (as long as they are comfortable and safe) It's easy for those of us who haven't been in the position to raise eyebrows over it but I know for sure I'd rather be supportive than be as condemning as some people who have responded.

Like ... I’d be concerned he has a sexual fetish, to be honest.

Why? Because pregnant women are tarnished? Or not attractive? What silliness.

Come on now OP you knew exactly what you were doing when you started this thread.

Why? Because pregnant women are tarnished? Or not attractive? What silliness

It’s a well-known genre of porn, that’s why. There are guys that get off on being with a pregnant woman, it’s some sort of weird power play to them.

I'd expected different opinions but didn't predict it would become such a heated debate. I feel pretty out of my depth to even know how to respond tbh.

There are guys that get off on being with a pregnant woman

And there are guys that are attracted to women regardless of whether or not they’re pregnant. Being attracted to a pregnant woman, does not make you disturbed or a fetishist. To go straight to that is what is disturbing.

You obviously hold some judgment towards her as you’d not have thought to start this thread otherwise.

This woman it turns out doesn't have any other children. If she did, would it make a difference to people's responses?

Personally I think that sexual behaviour from both men and women has to be influenced if there are children. If there are children, moving into or out of relationships or being casually involved with someone or numerous people does have an impact on those children. So I don't think it is then just a case of 'my penis, only my business' or my vagina, only my business'. Don't responsible adults consider the impact of their behaviour on their own children and those of others they are involved with?

It's not a question of whether it is right for the woman to do it, but is it right for the woman and the man to do it and what is the impact on any children.

Of course people with children might end relationships and they might start others. But isn't the point that whilst childless people might be able to do this with limited impact on others (quite likely impact on other adults actually) those with children need to take more care and thought about it and be more careful about timings etc before of the impact on children.

I would expect both the woman and the man to ask the question, bearing in mind the woman is pregnant 'will embarking on a relationship affect the situation my child is born into and will this be a positive and helpful impact or not.' For either the man or woman to not seriously consider this question and to discuss it together just seems irresponsible to me. And isn't a key part of being a parent about taking responsibility and recognising that some our personal choices might be compromised or sacrificed because of our responsibilities to children? And that's not to say parents have no right to enjoyment or relationships or sex.

I didn't judge her as such because she hadn't committed to actually doing it, she'd turned to me for advice more than anything. It took me by surprise and it wasn't until I'd had time to think about it then yes I did think that if it was me I can't imagine even thinking of doing it and the only reason I can really put that down to is that I would feel it's disrespectful to the baby, it just didn't seem right. But after reading the responses on here as I say I just want her to do what makes her happy and that's for her to decide. It's unfair of me to judge her when I've not been in her shoes. So I will be sticking with what I originally said to her that as long as she feels comfortable and is safe, and is sure she can deal with it emotionally as she is quite fragile then it's up to her what she does.

A lot of responses are as if I have said that she's already slept with him and there's a queue out of her front door wanting a go which is going to effect the house full of children she must already have and her actions are going to leave the baby and the rest of her imaginary children damaged. I'm shocked that people have pretty much made up their own scenario which couldn't be farther from the truth and judged on that.

or being casually involved with someone or numerous people does have an impact on those children

I’m “casually involved” with someone. It has absolutely no impact on my child.

And there are guys that are attracted to women regardless of whether or not they’re pregnant. Being attracted to a pregnant woman, does not make you disturbed or a fetishist. To go straight to that is what is disturbing.

Exactly, men are attracted to tall women, small women, blond, dark, big boobs, small boobs etc are these all fetishise?

As are women attracted to men of different, looks, race, culture etc!

And just sometimes a man is attracted to a woman for the person she is....

Why not, with my first two I was gagging for it constantly at that stage, nearly broke DH. As you say, just be sure to use a johnny. I’m sure the dad has no problem getting husband leg over.

*his

Jacques, well that's great that your relationship isn't impacting your child in any way whatsoever.

Presumably, you considered whether there would be an impact on your child (as did the man involved even if he doesn't know your child - because this isn't just about women taking responsibility for all decision making) and having carefully thought about, decided there would be zero impact. All fine.

But I'm sure that you will also agree that there will be scenarios where ending a relationship, starting a new one or being engaged in a casual encounter with one or with more people could impact a child. In fact, isn't that pretty likely really in most cases. The impact could be good for the child or it might be less positive and in that situation wouldn't you hope that the adults involved would consider that and bear it in mind when deciding if to go ahead or not?

I honestly can’t believe people’s response to this question. Especially because they personally didn’t want sex whilst they were pregnant
Our sex life never changed during pregnancy, we had no reason to! As long as he wears a condom why can’t she get a new boyfriend? Is she banished from sex with anyone else just because she’s single and pregnant?

WombatChocolate

The woman in question is pregnant...what would be the impact if it turns out to be a 3 week fling?!

Sex during pregnancy felt quite vulnerable for me. I don't know if I could have done it with someone that I didn't know extremely well and that wasn't the baby's father. Only because I felt vulnerable so I needed to trust the person I was having sex with.

But that's just me and how I felt, logically there is no reason why she shouldn't.