To not automatically buy my 17-yr-old driving lessons and a car?

[Dairyqueen2]

... because he seems to think I am! Tbh, an awful lot of his friends seem to have automatically 'qualified' for a car as soon as they hit 17. Have times changed?? When I was in 6th form there were maybe 2 or 3 kids who came by car, but now I feel like it's almost the norm. We can't afford to run a third car, btw, so it's a non- starter anyway! We do live in a rural area, but not a particularly wealthy one ...

Universities tend to be very short of parking, and some don't allow students to park on campus unless they have a disability.

Do that have that oddley named person around called the
"Motor Proctor" still;?.

It depends on your circumstances and where you live.

In my case, I don't have much income but was having to drive dd to school and back every day so her being able to drive was a benefit all round.

She worked at a supermarket to pay for the lessons/test/licence/tax and I bought the car and paid the insurance. I help her out with fuel a couple of times a month but it's still a better situation for me.

I certainly don't think it's a requirement to buy your child a car, nor should you be pressured into it. However, it really does depend on individual situations.

Just googled that seems a Cambridge Uni thing! Quite neatly worded too seesm he no longer around as such;)

Members of the University in statu pupillari who are in residence in term or in the Long Vacation period of residence are required to have a University Motor Licence if they wish to keep motor vehicles (other than mopeds) within 10 miles of Great St Mary's Church. Students who have MA status or who are members of the Senate do not currently require a licence. The former office of Special Pro-Proctor for Motor Vehicles no longer exists and licences are now issued under the authority of the Senior Proctor, who has the power to impose a fine of up to £175 for breaching the regulations on the keeping and using of motor vehicles and to suspend or revoke licences.

Ds 18 in May will get lessons money saved over several years, 50% of the insurance ( I have £1,000 saved and after that it is up to him. )

When he can pony up the balance of the insurance and tax etc, then we will buy him a car. (banger)

I gave him the money to pay for his provisional in October and it was sent back by the DVLA as he didn't submit the forms in time.

Expecting it back any day now for the second time.

Strongly suspect my money vis a vis lessons, insurance etc, is safe for a while.

I didn't ask for lessons, but neither did my DB, it was just what was done in our family. My DF never gave me a reason, but my family actually told my DH that I was like a child. We met when I was 42.

My DH and I helped DSD pay for her lessons (about half of them I think). We bought her a 9 year old small car on the condition that she got a job and paid for the insurance herself, and all the running costs there after (well apart from maintenance and repairs as DH is a mechanic and we own a garage).

My DB was bought driving lessons and a car, I wasn't. I'm resentful now, because I don't think my DF has ever seen me as an adult.

Bloody hell.

I'm just so surprised that so many people around me and people on here have just done it automatically at 17 ... To answer the question 'how will he manage' without a car: he now gets lifts to school with fellow 6th formers and he doesn't go out socialising outside of school at all! Never has, really. He wants to go to uni in London, Cambridge or other big cities in the south, so any car he had now might well end up sitting at home for those 3 years ...

But it's not just the university years you need to think about it.

Most graduates don't earn very much, and rents are extortionate (especially in cities). Most managerial or high-paying jobs tend to require a clean UK driving license these days as well. So a lot of young adults really struggle to pay for the costs of learning to drive. Paying for them at 17 when you have no council tax, rent, bills or huge outgoings to worry about, is very different to trying to find £50 a week for lessons, plus the cost of taking tests, buying and insuring a car when you have all those things to take into account.

He doesn't need a car at 17 but I do think it's really important to get kids out driving as soon as possible. Having a driving license opens up a huge world of possibilities that are genuinely closed off to you if you don't drive.

Nope, the mortality rate where we live is frightening. Every weekend there are youngsters killed on the roads. I will buy him driving lessons and he can do his test but he is intending to go to University in a big city where he will not need to drive for a fair few years. Or at least until he has a bit more cop on.
I got my first car when I was 24. Time enough.

What I would say is that I think cars or at least the traditional model of car ownership is on the way out, so I think this issue won't cost in 10 years.

Car ownership is already diving in cities and it will soon be totally replaced by car pooling and on demand services IMO.

With reference to the safety issues people associate with young drivers, my dd is 17 and a really good driver. Her black box software regularly reports that her driving is good and I have had £25 back on the policy every quarter since she passed her test. She's done a lot of driving in the past few months, including driving a few hundred miles on the motorway on her own. Safety in the car is mainly down to common sense of the driver, not their age or experience.

My son is 17 next month and will be getting driving lessons. He wants to be a bricklayer, so he will need to be able to drive, plus we will 40 miles west of nowhere and everyday life is very difficult if you don't drive. I'll probably buy him a van, but that depends on finances and him doing well enough in his apprenticeship. If he changes his mind and goes for the merchant navy instead then he will be fine with my car and I will get another one for myself.
My parents gave my (younger) sister a car and paid for her insurance for the 5 years until her 25th birthday when she passed her test. I got nothing and they were actively obstructive about me learning to drive. So I am aware that whatever I give to my first child will have to be available for the other three. They have been told that they will probably have to share, but I think that's fine and they seem to agree.

Lots at DD's school have parents doing this. Unfortunately most who have passed their test have subsequently crashed their cars and a fair few now also have driving convictions.

I was the poor kid in a private school 18 years ago and I was one of only a handful of 100 that didn’t get a car and driving lessons. My parents couldn’t afford it and didn’t see the point when we lived in an area with good transport links (and neither of them can drive).

A lot of my friends passed their tests at 17/18 but then left their cars at home for uni!

I had lessons in my mid 20s, but I was a bit jealous of my friends and their cars at school

There are no rights and wrongs to this. Just like my parents paid for me to learn to drive at 17 so I did with our 5 children who all passed their test at 17 but my parents didn't buy me a car and I haven't bought the children a car. They have had use of our second car but on a shared basis.

In fact my older son's most useful qualification despite his having a degree is his driving licence as he is a delivery driver now. We always joke his GCSes, A levels and degree were the waste but the driving licence at 17 was the key to his success.

My parents paid for lessons as soon as I turned 17. I got £250 towards a banger too when I passed at 18 (but I got a car loan and bought one for 2k).

I'm 33 now. That car lasted until my 30th Birthday and taught me responsibility and also money management.

Driving is a life skill and the sooner they start the better. Not just because of insurance premiums.

My son is 21m old and his savings account is to help pay towards his lessons as soon as turns 17, and a future house deposit/wedding. We put in £10 a month specifically towards the lessons at the moment.

adaline - I can't think of many high paying jobs that take on graduates fresh out of university and also require a driving licence! Most of my friends went into well-paying graduate schemes, and none of them required driving - accountancy, law etc! Most of these jobs are also city based, and the important access requirement is education, not transport.

I don't disagree that driving is an important skill that most should acquire, but I think owning a car at that age is a misplaced spend for most people.

Even if you look at a minimal spend of £3k for lessons, a cheap car, and insurance, then that could be the deposit on a flat in the right place, transport to interviews etc - much more likely to help source a well paying job than possession of a car.

Learning to drive - yes. Practice of driving in family vehicles - yes. Ownership of a car? If it's either/or with the options above, definitely the above!

@HoppityFrog3 it is actually the norm for families who prioritise it as a life skill and beneficial to all future opportunities for your kid

I live in the arse end of one of the poorest cities in the country and it is absolutely the norm for most here, even in poorer families. You get your provisional at 17.

I don't intend to buy them a car but if at all possible I absolutely will pay for driving lessons. I'm 47 and learnt as soon as I hit 17 and, having seen friends who learnt later on and struggled, plus my mother who can't drive and relies so much on everyone (which is fine, happy to drive her), I want to make sure mine can drive if they want/need to.

I can't think of many high paying jobs that take on graduates fresh out of university and also require a driving licence!

No, but to get to those jobs, you have to work in the low-paying ones first. And it's next to impossible to fork out £200 a month for weekly driving lessons when you earn minimum wage unless you still live at home or live in a very cheap area.

I do agree that 17yo's don't need to own a car, but I think learning to drive is essential for the vast majority of people. Lots of people don't live in cities - if you live rurally and don't drive you can be so, so isolated. I couldn't do my job without a car because there's no public transport here. It's only a 17k managerial position but I still need my car. I can't afford to live in town I work in, so there's no other choice for me - and it's the same for loads of other people all over the country.

Just because cities are seeing a drop in car ownership doesn't mean it's the same for the rest of the country. Car pooling systems work in cities but not when you live in the middle of nowhere!

Depends on your circumstances really doesn’t it . I was at Uni in London so didn’t need to / couldn’t afford to drive - waited until I’d left uni and was at work before learning then buying my own car etc once I’d passed in my early 20’s .
I’ve bought my 17yr old the DVLA theory books online so she can learn and sit the theory if she wants during the summer hols . Have offered to pay for driving lessons but left it to her to decide on timing . You need to pass the practical within two years of the theory or you need to sit the latter again and one could argue the point of learning to drive right now given she won’t be driving at uni . Thankfully she’s not an entitled kid and doesn’t expect me to buy her a car although I could and would when the time comes .

DD is already saving for her lessons/car and she's only 15.

Has he worked/saved towards this at all?

@Fiveredbricks

Why on earth are you saving up for inessential things like driving lessons and a wedding but not for uni costs? Bonkers.

Why on earth are you saving up for inessential things like driving lessons and a wedding but not for uni costs? Bonkers

You can get a loan for university costs - last I checked you don't get a loan at 17 years old to pay for a car and driving lessons!