School forcing my son to play rugby

[Nearly47]

AIBU to think that it is wrong that the school is forcing my DS to compete in the rugby team?
When we joined I new he had to learn how to play and I have no issues with that. But to compete involves staying late at school twice a week and going to games Saturdays mornings plus he already plays football that's the sport he prefers. I am really annoyed and not sure how to proceed.

I think they believe it but think it's fine to do that?

Because a woman was sexist once.

Or something.

We have an obesity epidemic. All children should do sport YABU

I don't disagree (except with the YABU bit). But not rugby unless skilled at it, and not at all if it affects family life.

We have an obesity epidemic. All children should do sport YABU

The OP's ds does do sport. Sport is great, but you can't outrun a bad diet. Lack of rugby is not what's making people obese.

Being a team player and having sports connections was very valuable for my husband (age 60). Youngest DS, while in college had assistance putting together his resume, where he was told to include his sporting experience to explain his lack of work experience.
I can see how this is a massive challenge for those who don’t play team sports but the concept of team sport=team player/hard worker/dedication is still spewed out.

Indeed it is inlcuding by people on this thread including

1 who actively uses it when recruiting and
1 who seems to work in hr / recruitment

neither are fussed about disability discrimination

Interesting indeed

“. I have never heard a man telling me he wouldn't employ a woman or making it an issue. ”
Well, the self proclaimed recruiters on this thread don’t have to. They just use proxies.

I don't understand why you would say to an HR person or recruiter "I am biased and want to act illegally, please only send me CVs for women (or men)"

Surely sexist people who are acting illegally don't announce it to 3rd parties
They would be able to tell who was what from the names & of course from interview

Unless the idea is that women are too stupid to conceal it, while men aren't?

Not every private school has compulsory sports practice after school and on Saturdays, that every pupil has to attend. My school didn’t. Neither did my brother’s. The only PE that was compulsory was that done in lessons during the normal school day. If you were selected for the team then yes you were expected to attend practice (I was never part of a team, too crap at sports) but it wasn’t multiple times a week and Saturday mornings.

Well, the self proclaimed recruiters on this thread don’t have to. They just use proxies.

I know Bertrand, in 2 minutes, you will be asking for a photo or it didn't happen.

No need for photos-they’ve posted in clear sight.

why you think it is OK to discriminate against candidates with disability by using proxies such as giving preference to people who play team sports.

why does it have to be discrimination? What prevents a disabled candidate to be invested in something else than sport, and achieve a lot in art, charity or something?

You can win medals in something else than rugby - I have never played a game of rugby in my life personally.

Don't try to play the discrimination card to moan about the request for strong curriculum activities on a cv when it doesn't exist.

I'm not even sure that playing team sports translates to working in a team within the world of work.

I was in all the sports teams at school but 'Teamwork' is definitely the area where I perform worst if being assessed. I had graduate assessments that confirmed this!

*why does it have to be discrimination? What prevents a disabled candidate to be invested in something else than sport, and achieve a lot in art, charity or something?

You can win medals in something else than rugby - I have never played a game of rugby in my life personally*

I can’t decide if your naivety is genuine or you’re deliberately playing a role.

“why does it have to be discrimination? What prevents a disabled candidate to be invested in something else than sport, and achieve a lot in art, charity or something?”
The recruiter who posted specifically said they looked at participation in team sports, not at people who had achieved a lot.

And team sport doesn’t necessarily translate to team spirit. I remember Gary Lineker saying that strikers were shocking team players- all they thought about was scoring goals themselves, not supporting team effort. It was very interesting.

"why does it have to be discrimination? What prevents a disabled candidate to be invested in something else than sport, and achieve a lot in art, charity or something?"

Ah nice attempt at moving the goalposts.

The conversation is about prioritising candidates who play team sports.

Not any another sort of sports.
Not doing art or charity.
Not anything else.

I assume you've been reading the thread that you are posting on and are just pretending that you have been talking about something else all along.

Absolutely Bertrand. I have read so many anecdotes by people who were bullied by pupils (and teachers) at school for being terrible at sports, particularly team ones. I can’t think of anything worse for trying to encourage team spirit.

In fact you posted this earlier:

"I have recruited quite a few graduates for various companies, so no experience whatsoever. For an equal degree, employers did prefer the ones who have been part of the competitive team, because their training was intense, things like up at 5am every day to train. These young people were obviously more dedicated, more rounded than the others."

So you know exactly what's being discussed.

MeAgainAgain

the thread started about team sport, I talked about team sport. Some candidates are prioritised over others, and rightly so. You are going onto something else, which doesn't change the main issue, but I replied to you

“These young people were obviously more dedicated, more rounded than the others."
Actually, the 5am training sports people I know are the opposite of rounded!

Some candidates are prioritised over others, and rightly so

Prioritising over something which, on the whole, excludes people of a certain sex or people with disabilities isn’t a good tool for selection. But then you know that.

Prioritising over something which, on the whole, excludes people of a certain sex or people with disabilities isn’t a good tool for selection. bollocks, that's trying to twist things!

What I know is that you recruit people who

1. are the best for the job and then
2. will fit best with the rest of the team

No need for big words, long winded theories, in real life that's how it works and how it should work for everybody's sake.

Girls or races are not excluded from anything, so the example of team sport is the best to prove that it doesn't exclude anyone!

It's not right to prioritise candidates on the basis of participation in team sport,
As this is a proxy for protected characteristics most notably disability.

As a person involved in recruitment, I am worried that you are apparently either not aware of this, or don't care.

Tell him to make a couple of terrible mistakes in an important match - job done

Girls or races are not excluded from anything, so the example of team sport is the best to prove that it doesn't exclude anyone!

Do you know how old boys networks work?

You say - and it’s obvious - you’ve never played a game of rugby in your life.

I’ve been playing both codes for over 20 years. I’m a dual-qualified coach. Do you think when everything was equal the old boys network would acknowledge women’s rugby? Because they don’t. I can tell you that for definite.