School forcing my son to play rugby

[Nearly47]

AIBU to think that it is wrong that the school is forcing my DS to compete in the rugby team?
When we joined I new he had to learn how to play and I have no issues with that. But to compete involves staying late at school twice a week and going to games Saturdays mornings plus he already plays football that's the sport he prefers. I am really annoyed and not sure how to proceed.

Far more boys than girls play team sports. And far more men than women continue to play team sports once they’ve left school. So prioritising participation in team sport discriminated against women.

"why does it have to be discrimination? What prevents a disabled candidate to be invested in something else than sport, and achieve a lot in art, charity or something?"

Maybe they are a bit busy navigating studies and life while having a disability?

It's a stretch clearly, but if you can, just think about that for a minute.

This is no doubt a private school where the OP has made a choice and is paying for her sons education.

I have very little sympathy for parents who send their children to private schools and then complain about what the school requires of the pupils.

OP. this is what you sign up for at a private school where sport and winning at sport is important.

Take a stand and get a grip and say no to the school. However I suggest to listen to your child and see what they want to do.

Stop complaining, you pay for this so either stop paying and send your DS to state school where sport will limited or be proactive and assertive .

notahiker except OP has said it's grammar school and all the ones I know of those are state.

has she said it's private?

your whole post hinges on that so maybe I missed a post. I thought I'd read the whole thing but it is long.

There are lots of ways you can be a great team player without doing team sport. Unless you are looking at candidates who demonstrate their team player abilities from any kind of activity, then yes you are discriminating.

To say it is just as easy to participate in team sport if you are disabled or disadvantaged is errant nonsense.

God knows - thread too long .

Still a bloody choice though

Not all grammars are state.

oh right

so you have told the op off, quite resoundingly, for something that you have just guessed is the case

i see

sure tinkly but i don;t think op ever said either way?

what is a private grammar we don't have them round here. migth google it

Yes I have told her off.

Grammar or independent parent know what they sign up to. Then they complain.

You told her off for going to a private school when you don't know that's what she's doing

now you're all oh well whatever I didn't read the thread don't care still going to tell her off

weird

Yeap !

A choice was made to send her DS to a school where sport is important.

Her choice so she need to stop complaining or listen to what her son wants to do or get assertive with school.

Meanwhile at the bottom of my page I have advertising for Rugby Balls 😉

@thedisorganisedmum

You are quite right that girls and different races (and people with disabilities) aren't "excluded" from team sports, that's not the point. The point people are trying to explain is that people who play team sports are more likely to be male, able bodied and come from certain ethnic groups. So if you are reviewing CVs and one of the criteria you use for selection is whether or not they play/played team sport, you are more likely to be selecting able bodied men from certain ethnic groups.

As an example, suppose for argument's sake you have 100 CVs, 50 are men and 50 are women (but you don't know this because they all have gender ambiguous names). All are sufficiently qualified to do the job. Let's suppose in the general population 20% of men play team sport but only 2% of women play team sport, and the 100 candidates are reflective of the general population. To whittle the candidates down you apply your team sport criteria to decide who to invite to interview. Hey presto, come interview day you're shocked to find 10 men and only 1 woman in the waiting room!

This is how it works.

An unscrupulous recruiter could do this deliberately to discriminate against certain characteristics. But doing this in ignorance is discrimination all the same.

If you really want to assess someone's ability/experience of team working, please just set a test, ask a scenario based question or ask about their experience.

Your being very evasive, is re being asked and feels he cannot refused, rather than being forced to play?

I'm a recent graduate and can say playing sports/ having hobbies did come in handy for things like my personal statement and jobs I've applied for afterwards, I don't know why some people find that so hard to believe. For my university personal statement, it helped show commitment, time management skills etc. I carried on the sport at uni and was elected social secretary and captain in other years. I've referenced these roles (time keeping, interacting with everyone yadda yadda) in succesful job applications and it's well known that having committee positions at university societies (doesn't have to be sport btw) is desirable to employers.

Notahiker.

I hate the very obviously stupid argument that 'you signed up for the school you never have a right to complain'. In what world do you live where there is plentiful school choice so you can choose the perfect school for your child and every minor detail of the school is made clear before applying.

We had this at my school back in the 1970s. We just refused to go and didn't turn up. We were a rugby school in a football mad area (major London football club 1/2 a mile from our school). Our games masters went apeshit but our parents backed us up so what could they do?

I think the OP has confused School as much as she's confused us.
What exactly is the problem?
Does OP's son want to be in the rugby team but can't be arsed to go to the training sessions?

@MeAgainAgain you like the spotlight don't you? Reading through this and nearly forgot about the poor OP as you've made it all about you 🙄

From one of the OP's updates:-
I give up. My son told me to email them to get him out of rugby. More than once. His attitude to rugby is it's fun but he doesn't to do it three times a week and definitelynot Saturday morning. The forcing happens when the PE teacher tells him that he MUST attend training and compete. He is an obedient boy and is terrified of going against the teacher and getting punished.

I think this would have been helpful to know at the start tbh! I'd check the school's policy again to see if the team part is compulsory. If it isn't, you may just have to state that he has prior commitments at the weekend/after school (the football, presumably) and wish them well in finding a another more motivated team member to help the school maintain their excellent run of results (blah, blah - soften the blow with praise a bit).

Lol it wasn't just me who pulled up the two pps who were in favour of discrimination.

Anyone else updating my CV? I’m missing ‘year 9 hockey captain - responsibility for choosing heads or tails in the coin toss’.

I’d definitely not rate playing any sport/teamsport much on a CV unless someone did go the extra mile and was organising events/on the committee. But wouldn’t just have to be in sport, anything where someone is showing a skill set is something. Although only really useful when there’s nothing else on the CV. Priority is work experience directly related to what you’re recruiting for. I don’t even mention school on mine, but I will now 😂

As for OP, I’d tell School his priorities are his other sport and also his homework. hes At grammar school so surely academic success is a massive priority.

(All grammars are state schools aren’t they? I know one independent school that has grammar in the name - not sure if it’s historic, I assumed so. It’s definitely not a grammar school. There’s one grammar school near me that you can pay but that’s to board, is clearly a state school and free otherwise).

it's well known that having committee positions at university societies (doesn't have to be sport btw) is desirable to employers.

I tend to switch off when I read such vague claims.