School forcing my son to play rugby

[Nearly47]

AIBU to think that it is wrong that the school is forcing my DS to compete in the rugby team?
When we joined I new he had to learn how to play and I have no issues with that. But to compete involves staying late at school twice a week and going to games Saturdays mornings plus he already plays football that's the sport he prefers. I am really annoyed and not sure how to proceed.

More details are needed.

In what way are they forcing him?

Have they made him join a team against his will.

Or

Did he want to join the team, and now you're getting annoyed at the commitment it requires.

Surely they can't insist on him staying late or coming in on a Saturday? Unless it's a private school or something.

I would go in and speak to the school as he already plays a sport which he prefers.

So every child in the year level, is playing rugby against other teams/ schools? I would imagine that makes for some very poor teams if every boy is forced into competing.

Character building?

I know of a similar situation whereby the school absolutely expected those children picked for the team to train and play-even if it meant that their usual weekend sporting commitments meant there was a clash-the commitment is 'supposed' to be for the school.

Like you it was football done in free time and the rugby team he got picked for. The parents declined the offer of the place in the rugby team-and were met with much resistance, but ultimately they couldn't physically force him to stay after school or turn up on a Saturday.

A boys school near us does this. Every year 7 boy has to play, including every Saturday, if they don't go they are given detention. It is made very clear before you apply to join though.

It isn't right if you weren't made aware of this before applying.

There must only be a few weeks of the season left, why has it become an issue now? How old is ds? If he is sporty most schools would take advantage of this for their teams, in whatever sport was in season.

So every child in the year level, is playing rugby against other teams/ schools? I would imagine that makes for some very poor teams if every boy is forced into competing.

that is definitively taking the "all kids are equal" nonsense a step too far

It's a real honour to be chosen to represent the school at DS's school and I'm always super proud when DS is asked to play. YABU

Character building?

In what way? Two words isn’t much of an argument.

Surely being encouraged to take part in something he does enjoy would do more for his character than being forced into taking part in something he hates? There’s nothing wrong with recognising individual strengths. Give the boys who are good at rugby the chance to play competitively and do well. The OP’s son can find his own strengths.

It's a real honour to be chosen to represent the school at DS's school and I'm always super proud when DS is asked to play.

fine, but only as long as it respects the child wishes. Honour of not, if they do not want to go into competition, they don't have to.
Kicking them out of bed one Saturday because they are feeling lazy that day is a different thing

Is the school state or private?

I imagine he must have shown talent at the sport to be selected for the team.

If it’s a private school, it’s the norm.

This happened to me, I must have shown some natural ability for netball and was forced to be on the school team.
I absolutely hated it and eventually refused to attend.
I was never forgiven by the sports teachers, and I think it did harm my education a bit.
My advice would be, tell him to play ruby very badly!

Worst case, he could start playing badly.

Were you not informed about this before accepting a place? We had similar at my DS school, but the staff explained beforehand that it would be compulsory in year 7, even on Saturdays and twice after school during the week.

Completely normal at our school (independent). But the school is very up front about it when you apply. If you are chosen to play for a school team that has to take priority over any non school activity.

Is it a private school?
Compulsory Saturday and afterschool sports practice and inter-school matches quite common. Every kid. Even the ones who were crap at it.

If it's everyone and it is made clear that its expected then its just part of the school culture.

If selected for ability and only a few are chosen I would have thought unwillingness would be a major criteria for making the team - and it would be perfectly reasonable to refuse.

Surely he cant be 'forced'? Just tell them no, he is not playing....

@Icerebel
There is not " joining the team". If a child is called they have to attend training and compete. He apparently is a good player and has been selected.

He apparently is a good player and has been selected

You don’t mention whether he wants to attend

I've sent emails explaining that he chooses to play football and playing rugby also would be to much. But still they asked him to play.

They asked him to play or they forced him?

You say that he is 'apparently' good - has this come to you from your DS or directly from the school? I'm thinking that maybe they are trying to strongly persuade him to take part, as he makes them a better team. My DS sometimes thinks he is going to be 'forced' into something he doesn't want to do, then when I actually speak with the school I find that no, it's not compulsory. When I was at school our netball team was so depleted that we had to borrow the goal keeper from the year below: our sports teacher was constantly trying to persuade people to join.