Anyone with a quiet child? - upset at what teacher has said at parents eve

[Afternooninthepark]

Dd is 10 and in year 6.
Tonight was her parents evening. Each year we are told that dd is very quiet which is fine not a shock as I know she is one of the quiet ones, the world is full of different personalities, we can’t all be loud and super confident.
However, tonight the teacher made a real issue about it. She told me she thought dd was too quiet, never participated and that she thought her self esteem was extremely low. She even went on to say that she thought if dd had her way ‘she would crouch into small ball and hide under the table’! She also suggested she should speak to the Relate counsellor??!!
I told the teacher this was a bit of shock to me. Dd is quiet but at home she is witty and funny, always happy, very very arty and creative, has a big love of animals and just a lovely, loving, kind & wonderful daughter.
She never says she hates school, always goes in happily and very rarely complains about much.
I’ve asked dd if she is happy at achool and she says she is and doesn’t understand why the teacher is saying this.
I’m upset and worried now. It’s as though the teacher thinks being quiet is a major flaw or that there is some underlying issue as to why she is quiet. And why on earth would she think that just because she is quiet that it means she has low self esteem??
Anyone else with a quiet child?

Fascinating thread.

I'm extremely introverted and hate it when people accuse me of being shy and timid just because I'm quiet and don't see the point in sharing every thought in my head with anyone who cares (or doesn't) to listen.

Unfortunately for them I am one of those people who has, on occasion, told an overbearing extrovert (who thinks I need psychological help to overcome my quietness) to Foxtrot Oscar, STFU and find a shell to crawl into for a bit of quiet time. To say it shocked them into silence (albeit short lived) is a understatement.

As someone said upthread, introverts often notice things about others that a lot of people miss - we're dangerously good at seeing straight through people, and somehow knowing if they're hiding something to the point it unsettles them. Do any other introverts posting here share that superpower?

@BSintolerant my 5yo introvert ds has this super power. He won't speak to MIL when we bump into her at the shops, just gives her evils

Hi OP, sorry haven’t read the full thread but my first thought was that should read ‘Quiet’ by Susan Cain it will reaffirm what you already know about being a quiet person. My daughter and I are quiet and I too was fed up of teachers telling me about my quiet daughter as if it was a problem and that she needed to change. Susan Cain has also done a TEDtalk which you can find on You tube. The world is full of quiet people who are successful and happy, it seems the teacher needs To appreciate that. Good luck and embrace being an introvert.

@SatsumaFan 😂 Love it! He could be really menacing if he combined his evil stare with a smile - it's pretty good for repelling some of the more boorish extroverts who think introverts are in need of an intervention.