To think my parents are mean with presents?

[gotweman]

Thought I’d do a reverse....

I’m 20 and at university. For my birthday, my parents promised me a new pair of glasses which will cost about £100. Other than that, I got £20 to buy me and my mates some pizza. I got a £1 card through the post too. This is all I got. For my parents we spend about £60 for their birthdays, and considering that we are only able to work for around 8 weeks a year due to university work/commitments it is a not unsubstantiatial chunk. My boyfriend’s parents spent about £200 on me, and my boyfriend about £300.

My parents are professionals with no mortgage and take several cheap holidays abroad every year. They have an income
of around £100k.

Were they mean, or am I being grabby and unreasonable?

The student is being grabby! You can't make demands on gifts!! And what other people give shouldn't come into it, and neither should what you give anyone.

At that age my DParents spent £25 plus a couple of small bits plus my choice of cheap take-a-way for that evening meal for the family.

My IL never buy me presents! Well off!
But my family buy my DP presents all time. It just way it is

Ffs! Is anyone else getting pissed off with the convulouted posts from OP. Just spit it out, tell us who you are and stop talking in bloody riddles. 🤬🤬

In my DP's family it's normal to give £40-50 for birthdays and Christmas.
My own DM is rather crazy and often spends £100-400 on us. Now my DM is a bit in a financial pickle and has "regrettably" told us how our presents won't be much more than £50-60 each. We've told her so many times it's not necessary to give us so much. We also don't have room for all of the stuff too. I honestly think she spends far too much on us and we would just be as happy with far less.

So OP, stop comparing, I really think you're being greedy.

Lol at the dad fishing. Is there any other pertinent information that might help us make a decision? E.g. What size are the student's feet? Does the mum prefer tea or coffee?

Why did you ask for new glasses if you didnt need them? If you asked for them for a spare pair then why are you complaining about them getting them?

You had £££s spent on you but you are moaning about it?

Hope to hell your sense of entitlement doesnt spill over onto your future job you could be in for a shock.

If my sons told me that I hadnt given them as much as they thought they should have then I wouldnt be giving them any more next year! My kids are younger than you and still ask if something they want for birthday falls into my budget or not.

Spending £££s on someone when its no object isnt a sign of how much someone likes/loves you. Obviously your bf has no money worries despite being a student if he can spend £300 on one birthday. Or else he is clueless with money and a spendthrift.

Either way judging by your posts on how you value people by how much money they spend on you and judge them on their income, looks like he is in for a lifetime of having to 'proove' his feelings for you with hard cash.

Of course your parents are mean and I'm sorry you're realising this

And there's a lot t of posters telling you how entitled you are, guess your folks aren't the only tight ones around

Tight? They're probably spending £5k each year topping up the loan. They bought him a spare pair of glasses and gave him money to buy in pizza. My heart fucking bleeds.

Or her, even.

Very grabby. The amount spent is generous, Other parents are spending aridiculous amount. I would not spend more tham £50 on my adult children and would not want them to spend more than about £30 on me.

Are they paying for your university and lifestyle costs?

Do they give you any money at other times?

I don't know if they're being mean. Maybe more joyless than mean. If they're finding your education then that is THOUSANDS! So it's probably a bit much to then expect ££££ for Christmas too. But if they'd spent £130 on something fun and meaningful, it would have felt more of a treat.

ok so situation is that wealthy parents who do not otherwise contribute to student offspring's running costs have given a 2nd pair of glasses as a birthday present, plus pizza and a card.
Against the backdrop of a ludicrous gift from student's boyfriend + family, student thinks parents are being tight.
I'm inclined to think that the parents could have done something more thoughtful than promised a pair of glasses in the future and since they're not otherwise supporting the student (unless of course they established the trust fund in the first place?), they could clearly afford to do so.
Student is however being a bit precious to still expect that at the age of 20.

@gotweman students aren't banned, they just need permission to do short vac work from their college. Which is freely given.

😁 I read the op's last post as though the bf has his living costs paid for from a family trust fund and couldn't work out why the bf's dad going fishing had anything to do with anything.

My DC are 25 and 27
I spend £150 for birthdays and Xmas then usually also pay for a celebration meal
Whilst they were students I would have helped with the cost of essential things like glasses - although they probably wouldn’t have asked as they both had part time jobs
For context I am single as I was since they were 4 and 5
When they were students I earned around 25k and now only slightly above the national average
My parents have more disposable income than I do however just give everyone £50 and a card for birthdays or Xmas which includes DC, DGC DGGC and their partners if they have any!

@gotweman - is this what its come to now, just ridiculous posts about being a 'reverse' - do you even know what that means? Why on earth cant you just ask what you think your being unreasonable about - is it because you think you will come across like a twat if you do? Talking in riddles is not funny and wastes everyones time - people are here (for the most part) to help - posts like yours are stupid and so confusing. Ask what you want and receive the reponses. Stop acting like youre 5.

I would not think glasses were a birthday present, they are a medical need, it is a bit like buying someone a filling for Christmas.

Given that the parents are not financially supporting the child (the family trust is) and the child is not able to work I think the parents are being a bit mean.

I also think the child should not be spending that much on their parents for birthdays.

Do they pay your fees and accomodation? Do they pay food bills etc?

I was also going to say it sounds generous already! But I would stop spending much on them if you can't afford it.

I think it's a bit grabby, sorry OP. Even as a child I don't think I ever had more than about £30 spent on me for my birthday. Quite often thinking about it I got an IOU because my birthday was in the middle of the month- away from payday 🙈.

Gosh, I've never had more than about £50 for my birthday from my parents, whatever age I was. We have three children under 8 and spend less than £60 on them each.

I think £120 is generous for a gift. I think that what the partner's parents spend is huge!

I do think that spending £60 on your dp is quite a lot if you aren't working.

Wow, you got over £600 spent on your birthday and it isn't even a 21st.

I won't be spending £200 on any of my DC's partners birthdays.

You sound rather entitled TBH. Did you go to a private school? Do your parents pay any of your fees and living costs?

If any of my DC complained I hadn't given them enough I'd be really peed off. Both my DC go to a fee paying school. We plan on giving them as much as we can if/ when they go to Uni. I don't buy them loads of stuff (clothes/ toys/ sweets) and they don't get massive presents. I can't afford both. Both of mine have great attitudes and are not spoilt.

For the love of God just say who you are!!!