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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not feel guilty for cheating

153 replies

Imnotanaccidentaltourist · 03/03/2019 22:40

If it's making me happy and therefore by extension making my husband happier too because I am? It's with one person, we are both very clear on what we want out of it and it's just lovely. I don't love my husband any less or any differently. I know it can't carry on for ever and that's ok too. My question is am I a terrible person for not feeling guilty but instead being happy and fulfilled by both things?

OP posts:
positivepixie · 03/03/2019 22:51

Is this a joke? You've developed yourself a very twisted sense of morals to justify an affair that is likely to ruin another persons life. If you don't feel any guilt then do the decent thing, tell your husband and see if he is still happy that you're doing it before he finds out another way.

Sparklesocks · 03/03/2019 22:51

However you frame it you are still lying to your husband every single day. I wouldn’t be able to do the same to my DP so I can’t relate.

pickletickled · 03/03/2019 23:01

Are you seriously attempting to say it's in your Husbands best interest that you're cheating - because you are happy ergo so is he :0
If your infidelity would make him grateful then go tell him, be honest. See how he feels. Yeah, of course you won't because you know it's wrong.
Poor guy.
Oh in answer to your question - YES you are a terrible person.

MegaClutterSlut · 03/03/2019 23:03

A terrible person is putting it politely...

Gazelda · 03/03/2019 23:05

What will your DH think when he finds out? What will he say? How will you feel when you see his hurt, disappointment, betrayal, confusion and belief that he obviously isn't enough for you?

ReaganSomerset · 03/03/2019 23:05

Yes, I'd say so. And incredibly selfish to boot.

SparklyMagpie · 03/03/2019 23:06

Oh fuck off YABU

SuchAToDo · 03/03/2019 23:08

Your cheating isn't making your husband happy and if you honestly think that then you either have no morals, no conscious or are plain stupid...

Tell your husband you are cheating and ask him how happy he feels....go on, I dare you to...I bet he will kick you out the house and divorce you.

Your poor husband deserves better

AnneLovesGilbert · 03/03/2019 23:08

Tell him and see if he’s still happy you’re happy Hmm

LostwithSawyer · 03/03/2019 23:09

Wow, you are a special type of person to cheat on someone who loves you and who you claim to love but feel no guilt or remorse.

Drogosnextwife · 03/03/2019 23:10

Why don't you tell your husband what you are up to and see how happy he is then? Hmm

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 03/03/2019 23:10

If it's making me happy and therefore by extension making my husband happier too because I am?

No one can be this self-absorbed, surely? You really believe that your happiness, which you have attained by betraying your DH, is so supremely important that everyone around you should just be grateful to bask in it?

If you're going to be a liar and a cheat, at least own it. Decieving your DH is one thing, but trying to make out that shagging someone else is actually in his best interests to salve your conscience is the worst kind of cowardice. Face up to what you've done.

Hubblebubbletripletrouble · 03/03/2019 23:10

Jesus, how selfish.

IncrediblySadToo · 03/03/2019 23:11

Are you still having sex with your DH?

DustyMaiden · 03/03/2019 23:12

Tell him so he can return the favour and make you happy by shagging someone else.

Designerenvy · 03/03/2019 23:12

How would you feel if your DH did this to you? Devastated, betrayed, hurt, angry etc????
It's beyond awful, it's disgusting. How can you say you loved your husband the same as before and betray him like this?

Hidingtonothing · 03/03/2019 23:16

Why don't you ask your husband whether it makes you a terrible person? No....? You are a terrible person because what you're doing would hurt him immensely if he knew, how can you do that to someone you profess to love?

MrMeSeeks · 03/03/2019 23:16

Yes you are.
See how happy you both are when he finds out.

HeartStrings · 03/03/2019 23:16

I think you're a wonderful person for doing what your doing. It's clear your putting you DH happiness above your own. What he don't know won't hurt him and as long as your happy then carry on..

SAID NO ONE EVER!!

Honestly, do the decent thing and leave your husband. He deserves a woman who will be loyal and respectful to him. YABVVVVVU. How selfish!!

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 03/03/2019 23:17

Do you have children, OP?

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 03/03/2019 23:19

What about the person you're cheating with, is he married too? Does he have a family? Not that you'll have given them a second thought I suppose since you don't care about the impact on your own DH.

Drogosnextwife · 03/03/2019 23:19

I wonder if OP will come back and explain a bit more.

LargeGlassofWhiteWine · 03/03/2019 23:20

Yes YABU.
Yes you are a terrible person.
I feel for your poor DH.
HTH

EmeraldShamrock · 03/03/2019 23:23

Awful.
Like a pp said tell your DH, see how happy he is.
Is your lover married.
Grow up.

PrestonsFlowers · 03/03/2019 23:23

Ok, the Mil and the bus one was vaguely amusing.
The rhyming twin baby names was odd
This one is not even plausible
DFOD

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