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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not feel guilty for cheating

153 replies

Imnotanaccidentaltourist · 03/03/2019 22:40

If it's making me happy and therefore by extension making my husband happier too because I am? It's with one person, we are both very clear on what we want out of it and it's just lovely. I don't love my husband any less or any differently. I know it can't carry on for ever and that's ok too. My question is am I a terrible person for not feeling guilty but instead being happy and fulfilled by both things?

OP posts:
LonelyMouse · 03/03/2019 23:24

You are disgusting and selfish but it doesn't sound like you care so I doubt you'll actually stop what you are doing. If you actually cared about your husband you'd be honest with him so he knows what a vile person he married and has the choice to leave you.

Lovingbenidorm · 03/03/2019 23:26

Op you are living a deceitful life
You are lying to your husband on a daily basis
You have convinced yourself that what you are doing is not a bad thing, that is quite an accomplishment in itself!
Why are you still married to this poor deceived fool?
Is it because the other man isn’t free to have an open relationship with you?
In which case all I see here is 2 people who are behaving appallingly.
My advice (not that you want it) would be to finish your marriage, regardless of whether there’s another man to run to, and take a bloody good look at yourself.

Lovingbenidorm · 03/03/2019 23:28

Preston is this a wind up post?

AnyFucker · 03/03/2019 23:30

This is getting boring now

TheFormidableMrsC · 03/03/2019 23:39

You're a goady turd. Go away.

Lovingbenidorm · 03/03/2019 23:40

Ashamed I even bothered my arse replying 🙄

Ellie56 · 03/03/2019 23:40

Yeah right. Hmm

RomanyQueen1 · 03/03/2019 23:41

There are words for women like you.
HTH

SurgeHopper · 03/03/2019 23:48

Wrong website op

SaturdayNext · 03/03/2019 23:50

You made a promise to your husband. You've broken it several times.

Why don't you feel guilty about that?

ReanimatedSGB · 03/03/2019 23:51

Oh waa waa waa, here come the monogamy police. No, it's not necessarily terrible to have or seek sex outside of your officially senctioned partnership. If you have a Partner/Spouse who is:
asexual or not interested in sex with you
abusive
physically incapable of sex
having sex with other people and expecting you to not notice or not mind
Then that's fine.

Merryoldgoat · 03/03/2019 23:53

Sounds lovely. We should all be doing it.

Bun123 · 03/03/2019 23:54

I have only found out this week that my husband of 49 years,yes 49, had a two year affair a number of years ago. Found out by finding cards, photo etc stuck in the back of a wardrobe. Apparently I didn’t satisfy him sexually, so it’s my fault apparently. I feel devastated, shamed, confused, worthless, heartbroken. I have cried for days, have chest pains which frighten me. But no feelings of happiness.

Lovingbenidorm · 03/03/2019 23:58

Bun that must be devastating, so sorry x

user1473878824 · 04/03/2019 00:01

@ReanimatedSGB that’s fine if the other person knows. If it’s not, you’re doing something devastating to someone.

ReanimatedSGB · 04/03/2019 00:03

Quite a lot of people find the absolute drudgery of longterm monogamist parenthood is made more bearable by a bit of fun on the side. Nothing wrong with that. (And, all you whiners, maybe remember that monogamy was invented by men to benefit men at the expense of women in the first place.)

Butchyrestingface · 04/03/2019 00:04

@ReanimatedSGB, nothing to suggest any of those things apply here.

Bun123 · 04/03/2019 00:06

Thanks Loving. Your words mean a lot. I can’t talk to anyone about it, I feel so low. I have never posted before and it’s a relief to tell someone. I feel a fool. A worthless old fool.

Lovingbenidorm · 04/03/2019 00:06

Bloody hell!
What ever happened to basic honesty, morals and commitment?

Butchyrestingface · 04/03/2019 00:14

Apparently I didn’t satisfy him sexually, so it’s my fault apparently.

Is that what he actually said in his defence?

Bellasorellaa · 04/03/2019 00:16

How I felt when I got cheated on was like I wanted to die

Lovingbenidorm · 04/03/2019 00:17

Oh Bun please don’t.
Whatever your husband says it most definitely was not your fault. It sounds like he’s trying to minimise it because it was a long time ago etc etc
Don’t let this knock how you feel about yourself. You are not a fool and certainly not worthless, remember that!
HE is in the wrong
Where you go from here is very much up to you, the quality of your relationship etc (you’ve certainly got some history with him)
I can understand you don’t have anyone to talk to about it, you’re not a teenager and you don’t want it to become gossip.
Try to be kind to yourself and don’t let his actions doubt the goodness in yourself xx

Lizzie48 · 04/03/2019 00:19

I'm sure this is just a bored poster winding us all up. I never normally troll hunt, but I'm sure this is a wind up.

In case you're not, you're deluding yourself if you think what you're doing is benefiting your DH at all. Hmm

user1473878824 · 04/03/2019 00:21

@ReanimatedSGB it does matter if your are HURTING SOMEONE ELSE. Jesus.

user1473878824 · 04/03/2019 00:22

@Bun123 this is all him, not you. I’m so sorry xx

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