To not go to friends wedding tomorrow...I'm the bridesmaid

[sillyandsally]

I had a baby 3 months ago and she isn't sleeping on a night at all.
I'm lucky if I get 2 hours sleep.
I'm exhausted to a point I feel sick.
My friends wedding tomorrow and I'm bridesmaid but I know tonight I will be lucky to get even 3 hours sleep so I'm going to be in no fit state.
I feel so sick and exhausted with tiredness.
Aibu to tell her I can't go?
The wedding is at 1pm but she wants me over at 9am for makeup and hair.
I don't know what to do

I slept for 8 hours last night !!! Got up once at 3 for 20 mins and straight back to sleep.
I feel normal ..even if it's just a one night thing I feel normal ..I could literally do the conga around Morrison's

Oh bloody hell! Not you as well. Am I the only person on this thread who didn't get any sleep last night?!

I know this thread is over as such - before anyone screams RTFT at me - but a question for those know said not to go - in the UK does the MoH not sign the registry? So she has to be there! It's not just about putting on a dress and being there but about the legalities of the wedding.
I know it was explained to us very clearly that if our designated witnesses (which is done months before the wedding) could not attend on the day, there would be difficulties with the legalities of the wedding.

The marriage just has to be witnessed by 2 people, they do not need to be predesignated. They can even be strangers until that moment. I think they can even be related to the b&g.

There are occassionally threads from MNers having small, understated weddings asking for people to be witnesses on X date in X town.

Sorry, previous post is regarding marriages in England. Not sure about the rest of the UK. “Maid of Honour” is only a ceremonial title, it has not legal significance.

I think that's certainly true in England -- we just had two witnesses, and just showed up with them on the day, without giving their names in advance.

Whereas I was a witness for some friends who married in France, and that was far more formal, and I was pre-designated, and no idea what would have happened if I'd had to pull out at the last minute.

'Maid of Honour' doesn't have any legal clout.

Interesting. I was married in Ireland and we had to name our witnesses three months in advance.
I guessed as some people were saying "don't go" that it must be different in England.
A pp mentioned that this would be a problem in Scotland too.

I remember my first son being such a poor sleeper, then randomly he would sleep a lot longer one night, then I'd wake in a complete panic because he hadn't woken me up 🤣😂

Oh...meant to add, I'm glad you went OP.

As everyone else says, you have to go and sparkle for your friends big day.
Great tip from someone else, ask the bride if you can get hair and make-up last and go later.
Another great tip someone mentioned, asked the OH if he can get up for baby, it is just one night and one day.
If you don't go, you are choosing to end the friendship unfortunately.

Bangs @scaussie75 ‘s head against a wall 🤦‍♀️

And op, whatever you don't forget to cancel that cheque

In England I think the witness is only signing to say that the persons who've just got married are the ones who've signed the register, they're not signing to say that they are who they say they are. And that the register hasn't been filled in later with some completely fictitious details. So they don't need to know them in advance. Unlike the passport situation, when you're signing that the person applying is actually who they say they are, so you need to have known them for at least two years.

@scaussie75 you missed 95% of the detail in this 713 post thread! Amazing!!

😂 I can't believe people still aren't reading the updates. This thread is going to get resurrected in a year's time with people still offering "advice" (if it hasn't reached capacity by then!)

But who if anyone has cancelled the cheque....

Just read the whole of this, all 29 pages and love the outcome. My overwhelming feeling was of complete frustration at posters who wade in days later with their unique advice not having familiarised themselves with progress of said thread. 29 pages has clearly moved on slightly from the original conundrum

That’s fantastic, SillyandSally. It’s nearly like a reward for going to your friend’s wedding when you felt so exhausted! Hopefully it’s a start of more settled nights for you and your baby from now on.

👏🏼

Please can someone exolain the ref to cancel the cheque?

It was a thread about a year ago where all the early posters advised the op to “cancel the cheque”.

Posters decided they needed to keep posting their unique and special insight, not bothering to read the thread at all, despite the fact the OP had infact cancelled the cheque and reported that update back on the thread.

It’s become an ironic reference to RTFT. And I don’t mean “Full” thread.

Ah ok... so im guessing it was about a cheque. Its a phrase i recognise but didnt twig in reference to this.

Thanks PP

It's great you got some sleep and the chance to enjoy yourself as well

I think it was an op who had sent a cheque as a wedding present and then the bride, rather than saying thank you, e-mailed to say they had been expecting a bigger contribution (!). Hence all the “cancel the cheque” advice.

Haha, no it was worse than that - the cheque had already been cashed so COULDN'T be cancelled!

Re signing the register - our witnesses were DH's mum and my Dad, so they can definitely be related to the B&G. But then we didn't have a best man or any bridesmaids/MoH etc., or we could have used them.

It can be anyone.