To not go to friends wedding tomorrow...I'm the bridesmaid

[sillyandsally]

I had a baby 3 months ago and she isn't sleeping on a night at all.
I'm lucky if I get 2 hours sleep.
I'm exhausted to a point I feel sick.
My friends wedding tomorrow and I'm bridesmaid but I know tonight I will be lucky to get even 3 hours sleep so I'm going to be in no fit state.
I feel so sick and exhausted with tiredness.
Aibu to tell her I can't go?
The wedding is at 1pm but she wants me over at 9am for makeup and hair.
I don't know what to do

Oh so you went? Sorry nrft.
I hope you get some sleep now it's all done and sorted or nearly done and sorted.
Hot chocolate and pjs when you get home.

ok she went. In case anyone is reading this in a similar situation - being up at night with a baby is a very seriously horrendous situation. It's like being ill as people say.

I wept daily when my baby was this age.

Most importantly - I've been a bride and I would be mortified if anyone had come along to the wedding out of 'duty' when they felt horrendous.

compassion, kindness - that is what makes friendship

Anyone reading this who judged the OP should think about what the whole point of life is - to be kind and be happy while caring about others.

Well done OP

Totally agree with waterrat - hear, hear!!

Hope you had a lovely baby free day (and a Prosecco and nap!!).

I also agree with waterrat

I hope that even as a young and self-obsessed bride I would've understood the difficulty of coping with a little, restless baby when you're sleep-deprived.

I'm glad you went OP and hope you enjoyed a bit of baby free time. x

Hope you managed to enjoy the day op

Absolutely waterrat

@waterrat

Well said!

I can honestly say the only person who would have upset me not turning up on my wedding day, would have been the groom!!!

How did the day go, OP?

@HomeMadeMadness - if you get the OP's post highlighted in a colour of your choice, then it is pretty easy to skim through and find them.

I understand that, 25 pages in, it isn't always practical to read every post on the thread, but , the very fact there are over 20 pages of posts indicates that the thread is likely to have moved on from the original opening post, so it would be sensible to read at least the last 20 posts or so to see what is being said.

Haven't rtft but shocked by the many harsh responses here. Those first few months of sleep deprivation are hell. Once you get more used to it you know you can handle certain situations and you will somehow get through...but three months in and as s single parent, that's incredibly tough. I was a nightmare to be around when DD arrived and would not sleep. It was a HUGE shock to the system that all the pregnancy insomnia in the world had not prepared me for, and I was frustrated, depressed and seriously resentful of anyone getting sleep.

For those calling her selfish, try not to judge so harshly next time. And like waterrat says, real friends will understand. One of my bridesmaids suffered with anxiety and couldn't be there for the evening do. I didn't judge and I didn't mind.

A tip to help the problem, get the book - the baby whispered solves all your problems, read the chapter on EASY. the rest later. You little one is just the right age for it, will change yr life. Get it asap!!

Well done for going and hang on in there. I've had almost four years of limited sleep and it is truly amazing what you can get used to! My babies are in the minority I think, most babies end up sleeping better by six months. Be kind to you.

Also, no way would I have assumed my bridesmaid would be up for the job if she was only three months post partum! Bit selfish of the bride if you ask me...

OP is dancing the night away.... You go girl, gives you a break from the usual routine you poor lass.

I think you were heroic, OP. I wouldn’t have made it to my own wedding when I was that sleep-deprived. I think many people on the thread must have forgotten how absolutely soul-destroying lack of sleep is.

@HomeMadeMadness you can get the OP posts highlighted in a different colour so you can scan down a thread and spot them easily.

yes that level of sleep deprivation mixed with all other emotions it can be sickening.like you actually might fall down and stop functioning.its a tiredness that actually feels painful.
some of the harshness on here to the op shocked me

mylifestory are you new here?!

I am hoping there is no response from OP because she is having a great time.

She'll be conga ing

Hope you've really enjoyed the day. Well done for going. I remember sitting crying one day during a baby massage group because i was so tired. It's unreal how shitty you can feel when you've not slept and had to adapt to this whole new lifestyle. Plus throwing in the fact that you're doing it by yourself and that you have anxiety on top of being exhausted!

You'll look back at today and be amazed at how you managed to pull through and your friend will be so happy that you were there to share her special day with her.

Sorry that your going through a difficult time. It’s brutal being sleep deprived. I can see why sleep deprivation was used as a form of torture. It might be wise to speak to your friend. She must know what your circumstances are and she might offer an understanding eat and possible soloutions. If you do go the the wedding, I think it would be a wise decision on your part to have a taxi pick you up, as you can’t drive in that state. Like you said your feeling I’ll with tiredness xx all the best with your decision