Ex objects to after school activities

[Dippypippy1980]

Some may remember I posted here last month about shared custody with my ex and his very new girlfriend.

I haven’t raised the issue of changing the custody agreement, but I have explained my limits on his lady’s involvement in my daughters medical care and education.

I Dropped my daughter at my ex’s after school today and the girlfriend was there, he was not, I had my daughter’s swim stiff with me for her lesson in the morning and the girlfriend informed my they had decided all children should be treated the same and as she couldn’t afford all the after school activities my daughter has the she wouldn’t be attending them when she is with them.

There aren’t that many - swimming, gymnastics and rainbows. I think this is pretty normal for a six year old. She loves gymnastics and rainbows, swimming can be a struggle but I feel strongly that everyone should be able to swim. I didn’t want to start a row, and his girlfriend (who has been on the scene for five months) really can’t be taking this decision. She also told me that they beleive my daughter Is spoiled and it’s not fair on her girls. Apparently she hasn’t too many clothes and toys.

I’m not really sure what I am asking - I am ringin my ex later to say I am calling over in the morning to take my daughter swimming. I don’t think I am being unreasonable - after school activities are a normal part of childhood, and my ex as perfectly happy to take my daughter on his time b fore the girlfriend appeared,

I'm relieved for you @Dippypippy1980 and so pleased to hear your daughter is doing so well with the new arrangements- best of luck

That's wonderful news.

I was worried where it was going, nearer the start of the thread.

Ding dong the witch is dead gone!

I read the thread when it originally posted.

It is a little bit of Karma for him.Seems a great result for your DD and seems to be working far better.

I also agree with you completely don't change it back the next gf may have different plans for your Ex

The sad thing is he let this woman impact on his relationship with his DD so much

I would be telling your Ex that his DD is his only concern, not his new Gf DC who are nothing to him. If he is unable to continue her activity's because of pressure from his girlfriend, then go will take your daughter yourself in his allocated time, or go back to
Court.

new girlfriend went from being supermum To cruella devile when it became apparent ex wasn’t going to buy them a big house.

Sadly, I think this kind of thing is not uncommon. Women relying on a man to get them out of semi poverty. I see on MN quite a bit. Moved into new man's house... not getting along, but no money to leave.

You mentioned she doesn't work...so all expenses would have been on your STBXH ... with her 2 DDs (with an absent father) in the mix as well.

That arrangement would be of no benefit to him whatsoever.

I'm glad your DD is doing well at school. Might be worth sharing that with him.

I am so pleased OP.

I had thought of you often since the first thread, when I thought how dignified and sensible you were. I’m so pleased tohere the update, particularly that the change has been even more positive than you could have anticipated for your daughter. I agree it’s a great idea to let your ex know how well she is now doing at school, in a subtle, non-accusory way. If he did have any idle thoughts about changing the custody arrangements back, this would be a preemptive bit of info to shut that down.

Your daughter is very lucky to have such a good mother.

Thank you North Star.

I will try Tom work it into conversation, he can be a bit reactionary so I don’t want him to think I am gloating. My daughter might tell him herself - she informed me that the teacher thinks they don’t know which reading group is the smart one but everyone knows - it’s the group with the hardest book😂😂.

If he was thinking about custody he would have said something. We had coffee while daughter was swimming and he wasn’t pretty open about the break up. I just listened - not being critical of her incase they get back together. I did point out how unhappy our daughter was with the situation.

He was pretty open that should have said!!