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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I broke DHs glasses

325 replies

LellowYedbetter · 01/03/2019 10:10

I live in a family of gog botherers, both of my sons and DH but I’m not although should be but I never went back.
Anyway DH is fiercely protective of his and if you go anywhere near them or touch them he panics and flaps. Last night he’d left them on the bedside table. I went to bed, was very tired and didn’t feel well and put the iPad on the bedside table in the dark on top of the glasses forgetting they were there. We both went to sleep. In the middle of the night I woke up, couldn’t get back to sleep so reached for the iPad, dragged it off the table and smeared his glasses. This morning they were all bent and he’s gone ape shit. I mean, proper meltdown, panicking, ignoring me as he was too flustered and ended up late for work.

AIBU to think this obsession is too much?? Or is it because I don’t wear them that I don’t get it?

OP posts:
tomhazard · 01/03/2019 13:39

If I had broke something of DHs I would be mortified and apologetic and be offering to sort them out for him ASAP.
I am a glasses wearer and would be very upset if mine were broken as I wouldn't be able to manage. Your dh should have a sore pair though

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 01/03/2019 13:40

Still hasn't been clarified whose bedside table the glasses were on.

I passed the eye test after being told I needed glasses for computer and wading
So either you need glasses for coarse fishing, or you should be using them to check for typos

SoupDragon · 01/03/2019 14:02

Surely it was her DH who wasn’t careful since he left his glasses in a vulnerable place?

No he didn't, it's a perfectly sensible place to put them.

For a start it wasn’t his nightstand, it was OP’s

Was it?

The OP first dumped the iPad on top of them and then dragged them off the bedside cabinet. She was careless not once but twice.

Purpleartichoke · 01/03/2019 14:05

How on earth is he supposed to work without being able to see?

I can’t go 10 minutes without my glasses without getting a headache. I certainly couldn’t drive or see well enough to do my job.

DH always places his glasses on his nightstand. He needs them until the very last second and as soon as he wakes.
I wear contacts because I can’t stand glasses.

We generally keep an old pair around for emergencies, but that is just to get to the eye doctor and frame store, not to try to function with an out of date prescription.

User10727292 · 01/03/2019 14:11

Meh. I think it’s really a question of personal responsibility. If you own something that is both fragile and incredibly important to you, it’s on you to take care of it. You can’t just be careless and then blame other people when damage happens. And leaving glasses out of a case on a nightstand is careless.

Humans are accident prone and make mistakes. You can’t rely on people never being clumsy to protect your things. You have to mitigate that risk by protecting things (like the incredibly simple, convenient and low-cost solution of putting your glasses in a case). And if it is something you can’t function without, you ought to have spares.

I think people were (understandably) riled by OP using a mean term about glasses wearers and it’s coloured everyone’s view (sorry for the pun). I don’t honestly believe everyone actually thinks it’s ok to be irresponsible with your belongings and then blame other people when they are accidentally damaged.

Topseyt · 01/03/2019 14:12

OP, it is pretty clear that you yourself are an arse actually cannot see. If you could then you might actually notice some of your ridiculous typos, or at least explain them afterwards.

My glasses are very expensive, and are essential to me. I cannot drive or go to work without them. I cannot read without them. I cannot watch TV or use my phone, or the computer at all without them. I couldn't do very much at all without them.

Needing a useable pair of glasses to hand is not an obsession to be sneered at. Yes, you could say that he should have put his glasses in the case to protect them (mine are always in their cases on the rare occasions I am not wearing them for any reason), but that doesn't excuse your horrendous attitude here. Unfortunately, you sound proud of yourself when you should be mortified and ashamed.

You must have really whacked the iPad down hard on them to bend them like that. Just setting it down on top of them on a bedside table surely wouldn't actually distort them to the degree you say.

Apart from the optician (if an adjustment is needed), I am extremely protective of my glasses and never let anyone else near them. You would have been mincemeat if you had damaged mine. I am serious.

Purpleartichoke · 01/03/2019 14:14

Breaking the glasses was an accident. It happens.

The problem is Op’s dismissive Reaction. Offering to drive him to work? Really?? Apologize and drive him to the eye doctor.

SoupDragon · 01/03/2019 14:15

leaving glasses out of a case on a nightstand is careless.

No it isn't. Dumping an iPad on top of them and then scraping them onto the floor is careless.

I think people were (understandably) riled by OP using a mean term about glasses wearers and it’s coloured everyone’s view

Wrong.

SoupDragon · 01/03/2019 14:16

personal responsibility

And the OP was personally responsible for breaking the glasses.

Bluntness100 · 01/03/2019 14:17

Op, is English not your first language?

It's quite hard to understand some of the terms and phrasing you use. For example you need glasses for wading, pin toon, gog botherer, you should but never went back.

Sirzy · 01/03/2019 14:18

How is leaving a pair of glasses on a bedside table careless?

My bed is against the wall so only one bedside table. My partner knows my glasses go there when I am in bed so would have the sense not to just dump things on there.

Presumably him taking his glasses off to sleep isn’t a new thing so the OP knew they would be there

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 01/03/2019 14:19

This is truly one of the oddest threads I’ve read here and that’s saying something!

Katiepoes · 01/03/2019 14:19

I would like to hear from any glasses wearers - the kind like me that are helpless without them - that use a case. I have one for my sunglasses but my daily pair are either on me, on the sink if I am showering or on my nightstand. How is that not safe? Of course I don't have a heavy handed ipod slapperdowner living with me, maybe that's it.

Yougotdis · 01/03/2019 14:21

Yabu to use the phrase ‘gog botherer’
Yabu to essentially blind someone and shrug your shoulders.
Yabu to make this all about you.
HTH

User10727292 · 01/03/2019 14:21

No it isn't.

Of course it is! Stop being obtuse. Glasses are small, delicate and easily damaged by being dropped, squashed, sat on, scraped etc. Leaving them lying around is just asking for them to be damaged. Why in the world would you not just put them in a case to prevent that?

I have multiple cases for mine. They cost about 65p each on amazon. If I take my glasses off (i.e. when I am showering, when I am in bed, or when I switch to my sunglasses) they go in a case. It takes 8 seconds. And if I didn’t do that, and someone else accidentally damaged them because they were lying around, I would absolutely know that I only had myself to blame.

PassTheGinPlease · 01/03/2019 14:22

@Katoepoes I have one on my bag but don't use it overnight. DH has a soft case as he has different glasses for driving but nine times out of ten he puts them down beside the case on top of the record deck next to his chair.

Still never broken a pair of each others, although DD did put a pair of hers through a wash once in the case and they survived rather well

SoupDragon · 01/03/2019 14:22

since she doesn’t wear glasses she wouldn’t be in the habit of watching out for them / expecting them to be there.

Actually, she knew they were there as in her OP she said she "forgot".

SoupDragon · 01/03/2019 14:23

Of course it is! Stop being obtuse

Of course it isn't!

I'm not being obtuse, I simply have a different opinion to you. I know, mind blowing isn't it?

Fiveredbricks · 01/03/2019 14:23

Clumsy is another way of saying lazy Op. If you think about what you're doing you stop being clumsy most of the time.

cushioncovers · 01/03/2019 14:26

What a stupid way of describing someone who needs glasses 'gog bothers' how old are you op? Grow up and replace your dp's glasses ASAP.

User10727292 · 01/03/2019 14:27

How is that not safe?

It’s nice that you and the people you live with are flawless and never make mistakes, but as my DH and I are humans and not celestial beings I am fully aware of how easy it is to grope blindly for glasses on a shelf and knock them off, fumble and drop them, flail in my sleep and knock them from the nightstand, drop something on them, sit on them etc. Because I accept that I bear responsibility for my possessions and that even the most well-intentioned human will be clumsy sometimes, instead of waiting for an accident to happen and then being furious with the poor sod who caused it, I mitigate the risk by protecting my things.

Plus when they’re in a case they are so much easier to see when it comes to putting them back on, and it stops them getting steamed up in the bathroom.

Magmatic80 · 01/03/2019 14:27

I am an expensive glasses wearer (special thin lenses as I cannot function without them and they’d be jam jars if not). Mine only go in a case if they’re being carried around, or when on bathroom windowsill due to wearing contact lenses. This is because windowsill is vulnerable place.

At night they go on my nightstand on my side of the bed. Not in a case, as it’s not a vulnerable place. DP wouldn’t dream of putting anything near them and has no need to put anything on my night stand anyway.

If he broke them he’d be mortified and immediately arrange a replacement as a priority. He knows I am dependent on them. He once had to come and collect me from work and literally walk me through London by the elbow when I had a migraine and had to discard contacts.

Yabvu and have no idea of how vulnerable a person dependent on glasses feels without them. Also extremely rude about glasses wearers. You sound like a school playground bully.

User10727292 · 01/03/2019 14:28

I'm not being obtuse, I simply have a different opinion to you. I know, mind blowing isn't it?

Not mind blowing that you have a different opinion, but certainly mind blowing that this is the opinion you claim to have.

Squigglesworth · 01/03/2019 14:37

Sounds like the man's ruined glasses are the least of his problems, if his own wife is this callous and hard-of-thinking...

I'm not surprised he freaked out, and I'm sure it didn't help matters that you either don't understand or won't acknowledge the inconvenience and expense of broken glasses.

BetsyBigNose · 01/03/2019 14:47

My glasses are the last thing I take off at night, the first thing I put on in the morning and the one inanimate object I would rescue from a fire - I can literally only see about 20cm in front of my face without them. Luckily, I have kept some old pairs as back up, in case something happens to them, but I take good care of them - so it shouldn't.

YABVU - If your DH's eyesight is anywhere near as poor as mine, his glasses will be essential to his daily life and being without them will likely make him feel anxious and vulnerable. I think you should make having them repaired your first priority and ask him to keep them on his side of the bed - away from you!

I am also offended by your name for glasses wearers, like some PPs. There's no need for name calling.