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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I broke DHs glasses

325 replies

LellowYedbetter · 01/03/2019 10:10

I live in a family of gog botherers, both of my sons and DH but I’m not although should be but I never went back.
Anyway DH is fiercely protective of his and if you go anywhere near them or touch them he panics and flaps. Last night he’d left them on the bedside table. I went to bed, was very tired and didn’t feel well and put the iPad on the bedside table in the dark on top of the glasses forgetting they were there. We both went to sleep. In the middle of the night I woke up, couldn’t get back to sleep so reached for the iPad, dragged it off the table and smeared his glasses. This morning they were all bent and he’s gone ape shit. I mean, proper meltdown, panicking, ignoring me as he was too flustered and ended up late for work.

AIBU to think this obsession is too much?? Or is it because I don’t wear them that I don’t get it?

OP posts:
Original poster
LellowYedbetter · 01/03/2019 21:36

Vision express did it

OP posts:
Luaa · 01/03/2019 21:38

But what does gog botherer even mean??

SisyphusHadItEasy · 01/03/2019 21:40

I am late to the party, but my now 13 yo daughter has been wearing glasses since she was 4 months old. She is legally blind without them.

My husband wears glasses, too.

I have a prescription for glasses and wear them occasionally, but my eyesight isn't bad enough that I can't get by without them. For me, at this point my distaste for something on my face is still stronger than my need to wear my glasses, although I doubt it will be the case for much longer.

With that said, DH and DD would more likely be found walking through the house in only their underwear than getting out of bed without putting their specs on. Seeing is not an obsession, and their glasses are not a cheap accessory.

DD's glasses are very strong, and she requires bifocals to read. Hers cost about $450 each pair (we are in Canada). I don't wear glasses, but I do respect the importance of them to my partner and my child.

Your use of the phrase "gog botherer" just shows how immature and self-centred you are regarding the fact that others' realities do not match your own.

Just juvenile.

PickAChew · 01/03/2019 21:43

Yet another thread about gogs?

Original poster
LellowYedbetter · 01/03/2019 21:43

People are too easily offended. I get called names all the time, am never offended. What does it achieve? Nothing.

And people going on about calling disabled people names ... I don’t. I receive it daily but never dish it out. Ok gog botherereS was not the best phrase to use but the glasses wearers in my house use that phrase and I got used to it. Didn’t realise it offended people. Now I know I won’t use it, simple

OP posts:
peoplearepeople · 01/03/2019 21:45

I'd say concern is actually needed op.
You probably shouldn't be driving without glasses. You had a test were seen and didn't bother going back due to your sensory issues as you didn't want glasses. I appreciate this is hard (i have similar things and end up taking my glasses off around the house all the time because I hate the feeling of something on my face)
Do you realise if you have an accident, then the police will often check your sight. You could best case scenario be fined, or even charged for driving with bad eyesight. Driving without glasses when you actually need them isn't optional you know. It's illegal.
Get it sorted. That might be getting contacts, laser eye surgery etc or having very thin lightweight glasses to help with your sensory issues. Funnily enough this type tend to be the most expensive. Maybe then you might appreciate your husbands frustration with the situation.
Either way please fix it before you potentially hurt someone.

EggysMom · 01/03/2019 22:00

So the specs have been fixed.
DH has probably forgiven you for your clumsiness.
We've accepted that 'gog botherer' is a term your family use and is not intended to be offensive.

Can we now ask you to address the issue of you not having had a vision test for 17 years? You may find it's contributing to your 'natural' clumsiness. Please, for your sake, for the sake of your health (vision tests don't only look at how well you see, but test for eyesight problems such as glaucoma), for everyone - go and get your eyes tested.

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 01/03/2019 22:04

People are too easily offended. I get called names all the time, am never offended.

It’s very clear from your other threads that you and your husband call each other a lot of strange insults and behave in a generally juvenile manner towards each other. In fact, you seem to be surrounded in life by some very stange, colourful people.

gingerbiscuits · 01/03/2019 22:32

When you have crap eyesight, glasses are not an obsession - they're a necessity! Not only to see, drive & generally function, but also to avoid hideous headaches from straining to see without them! Decent, thin, lightweight lenses cost hundreds & it's utterly shit to have to look through scratched glass & have them pinch & not sit well because they've been bent. So, all in all, I'm with your hubby on this one - it IS a big deal & he's not over-reacting!

gingerbiscuits · 01/03/2019 22:34

Also...gog botherer??!! Not cool.

ineedaholidaynow · 01/03/2019 22:58

So whilst you were in Vision Express did you book an eye appointment for yourself, aren't adults meant to have eye tests every 2 years? Have mine done more frequently as I have rubbish eyesight. As others have said they can check other areas of health too

Topseyt · 02/03/2019 00:04

I hope your sons don't go around school or anywhere else calling students who wear glasses gog botherers.

angelikacpickles · 02/03/2019 00:14

I can't believe people saying that leaving glasses on a bedside table is unreasonable! The only people I know who keep their glasses in a case are people who switch between reading and distance glasses, or who don't need to wear them all the time. DH and I both wear ours all the time, so they are either on our faces, or on our respective bedside lockers.

callmeadoctor · 02/03/2019 00:39

Yet another OP disappeared!

janetforpresident · 02/03/2019 00:55

Didn’t realise it offended people
Really??... Really!!!???!!!???

I can't see without my glasses so a panic attack would likely ensue if someone broke mine. If it was my DH and he was massively apologetic and spend a fortune ordering me a replacement pair next day delivery as soon as he could it would be fine. If he took to the internet to call me a gog bothered it really wouldn't be fine.

Even if they were ordered that day on next day delivery the person still has to go 24 hrs without being able to see properly. It's not an item of clothing ffs.

Topseyt · 02/03/2019 01:16

Angelika, I wear my glasses all of the time but put them in the case whenever I do take them off.

They go in their case on my bedside table every night when I go to bed, When I am in the shower etc. they also go in their case, in the bathroom. If I do have to change to my computer glasses then my all day pair (which are bifocal) are put in the case for the duration.

SoupDragon · 02/03/2019 08:50

Yet another OP disappeared!

No they haven't, she posted at 9:43 last night (amongst others)

whilst you were in Vision Express did you book an eye appointment for yourself

i think that's unlikely.

MrMeSeeks · 02/03/2019 08:58

People are too easily offended. I get called names all the time, am never offended. What does it achieve? Nothing

Doesn't really matter if you aren't offended others can be.
You broke his glasses ( how i have no idea) you need to get them fixed today and stop thinking he’s upset for no reason.
He needs them, they are a necessity.
You do not sound like you are safe to drive which is quite worrying.

ArgyMargy · 02/03/2019 09:06

Having "sensory issues" doesn't put you above the law or exempt you from the need to use common sense. Stop driving until you can see properly.

woollyheart · 02/03/2019 09:21

Have you only got one bedside table? If you have room, your DH needs his own bedside table for his glasses, and you need to keep your hands off his table. I understand how he feels - I panic when my glasses are off because I see very poorly without them and it costs a fortune to get ones that work well and fit properly.

Maybe life would be better for you both if you considered why he panics when he hasn't got his glasses somewhere safe, and stopped acting as if he is unreasonable to feel like that. Sounds like his glasses are an absolute necessity not an accessory like sunglasses. Would you grab someone's walking stick and break it, and then laugh at them for being hysterical?

Talkingfrog · 02/03/2019 10:20

You and your husband sound well matched, although it sounds like he may be marginally more grown up than you.
The name calling is big childish and bullying. I would hate to think how you talk to your children, and if being set an example by you, how your children treat others.
In work, a term can be considered as offensive, if someone is offended by it. It doesn't have to be the person it was said to, a third party could be offended. Might be worth thinking on that in the future if you speak to colleagues as you speak to your dh.
I wear glasses with a strong prescription (about - 13). I can see about 10 cm without them. I can use my last pair as a spare, but only for a short time. The lenses alone can vise £200+. A free second pair is not an option as it usually only applies to standard lenses and due to strength mine are not.
Altjough you were lucky and the opticisn could fix them, it is not always the case. If the same frame and its parts are not available any more, it could mean that a new frame on its own isn't am option and comwte glasses are needed.
You should also not drive until you have a new eye test. Not only driving without glasses when you know you need them is illegal, you are probably also not insured. You are a danger to yourself, your children and everyone else in the area.
Maybe you heed to learn how to be an adult.

woollyheart · 02/03/2019 11:17

I also have sensory issues. I have found that glasses with very soft curly ear pieces are the only ones I can bear. They don't weigh too heavily on my face and stay in place properly.

They are extremely difficult to source and even more expensive. Some opticians have just given up and said that is not possible when I asked for them. A good independent would be able to manage.

And once you have found ones that don't drive you mad, and you can see perfectly, you will understand why your DH guards them with his life.

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 02/03/2019 12:19

OP all other things aside, you really do need to have your eyes checked. Even if you refuse to wear your glasses (don’t get me started on that), you should have them checked to look at their health just as you wouldn’t go 17 years without a smear test or a dental check up.
But you really should NOT be driving if you need to wear glasses and are refusing to. And part of getting them checked is to check how bad they are now. A slow decline in poor eyesight can sneak up oh you over time and you might not actually realise how bad they are now.

thesnapandfartisinfallible · 02/03/2019 14:10

People need to calm down. The OP is clearly a child trying to get a rise. It's rude and offensive but teenagers are notoriously immature and the OP is obviously going through a phase of thinking that name calling is funny. I'd bet that her DH is actually her boyfriend.

Nanny0gg · 02/03/2019 14:23

Seriously, are there honestly people out there who absolutely rely on their glasses but are still willing to just leave them lying around? And who think it isn’t their responsibility if something then happens to them?

I am badly short-sighted. My glasses have always been fine on the window sill in the bathroom or on my bedside table. The only time they live in their case is when I swap to my transition lens pair.

Never been an issue.

But as the OP hasn't answered many questions and now her DP's pair are fixed, we'll never know about her situation.

(second poster recently to use 'gogs')